TWD: Interview of the Scumbags: Season 4
by PompusRompus
Summary: Welcome back to the final (yes for real) scumbag interviewing session. Ask all your favorite characters the important things in life or just silly crap in general. Dare them to do things they'd normally never do or force 'em. I don't care. Series Finale. Short Chapters currently being merged together.
1. Chapter 1

Yeah I know I said I wasn't going to do another season, but fuck it. The 4th season is the last one of TWD and therefore this is the last season of this shit too. I'll most likely skip season 4 too tbh. lol Then again a writer from season 1 is suppose to be returning so I may watch someone play it. I will be reuploading season 3 (?) sometime in the future. I highly doubt I'll get as many reviews for this season compared to season 1. As a heads up to anybody who gives two shits, this takes place a few years after the last interview session so Clementine's whatever age she's suppose to be in season 3. When season 4 comes out, I'll do a time skip if there is another time skip in the TWD universe again. If anybody from another universe comes over, everyone's pretty much the same age unless decided otherwise or they themselves have a new game where they're much older or slightly older.

* * *

Clementine yawned as she headed to the front door of her grand castle in the mountains. After the last interviewing session, she was able to use all that money to decorate her fancy place. It came with 45 bedrooms, two kitchens, two dinning rooms with one having a beautiful view of the mountains and the other overlooking a lake, a grandball room, both an indoor and outdoor pool, and many other rooms inside. With such a nice home and far away from any walkers, she was at peace with herself. No crazy antagonists to fight off, no crazy adventures, no more walkers, and best of all, no sandwich stealing bastards named Javier! Clementine kicked off her shoes at the front door and had just barely made her way into her home when she heard loud banging on the door. She mentally cursed whoever was at the door and readied her gun. She counted to ten before swinging open the door and putting a gun into...a winged monkey's face. She blinked never having seen such a site before unless you counted the Wizard of Oz and that was a movie.

"Uh can I hel-..." Clementine was cut off by the monkey disarming her and grabbing her. "Hey, let me go you little...!"

Suddenly a few more monkeys grabbed her and flew away with her in tow. She kicked and demanded for them to put her down, not thinking that it would lead to her demise. One of the monkeys kindly reminded her of this. "Kick me again and I _will_ drop your ass on those rocks that'll crack your head wide open."

She gulped when she finally stopped and caught a view of what was below her. "At least have the courtesy of telling me where we're going, fuckwad."

"Back to the interviewing sessions again," said the monkey.

"Eh? That place again?" It had been a while since she had seen the building again or much of anybody else for that matter. They could have just told her and she'd go back.

"Yep and we're fetching your other buddies too," informed another monkey.

The monkeys eventually flew Clementine through a blue portal in the sky which closed upon going through it. There they entered to the place where the interview session took place. It was a large skyscraper surrounded by an equally large barb wire fence with an electric current running through it. Walkers roamed around the building but it was only a few of them. Outside the door to the building were her old friends, enemies, and people she barely knew were there.

"About time!" said Lilly. "I gotta piss!"

"Then next time wet yourself like the big baby you are!" snarled Carley.

"No fighting!" said one of the flying monkeys as another one pulled out a key. "Let's keep this shit civil this time."

As soon as the monkey opened the door, Lilly shoved him out of the way and ran inside along with a few of the others. Everyone plopped down in their normal seats, exchanges greetings, and waited for the questions to come rolling on in.

* * *

Like I said, I don't expect much so pile on as many questions, dares, or whatever the fuck else as you can. No holding back.


	2. Chapter 2

"So what have you morons been doing since the last session?" asked Clementine as pulled out a bowl of beef soup in an expensive white bowl which was laced with diamonds on the sides. She was eating with a golden spoon that was also laced with smaller diamonds.

"Are those diamonds?" Gabe pointed at the diamonds on the outside of the bowl. "Did you steal 'em?"

"I know I didn't just hear you say that!" She glared at the teenager as she hit him on the forehead with the spoon. "You think I'd actually steal? How dare you, Gabriel! When was the last time I stole?"

"I can think of a few times," said Rebecca.

"Stealing from you guys doesn't count," she said slamming her hand onto the table in front of her. "If I didn't want to die, I had to!"

"Let's just change the subject, Clementine," said Lee. Clementine was just about to tell him that he was good to see him again but was quickly distracted by the site of gray hairs in his head. "Something wrong, sweet pea?"

"You're...you're aging like Kenny now," she pointed out the many gray hairs he had. If he already had them, she sure didn't notice them.

"Yeah, while I am in my 40s now."

"Geez, you're old," Clementine had completely forgotten about her former caretaker's age. Now that she thought about it, 40s was the age some people started graying.

One of the flying monkeys came in wearing a red vest with a piece of paper. "Okay enough talking. Time to get this show on this road, people!"

 **So Clem... you gonna sic Jigsaw on that sandwich stealing fucker? I would if I were you, nobody likes a sandwhich stealer.**

"Should I, Javier?" she grinned evilly. "Should I?"

"L-let's not go that far, kid," he laughed nervously. He had seen plenty of Saw movies to know he didn't feel like going through that. He'd rather deal with the zombies.

"I'll think about it," she smirked, noting the fear on Javier's face.

 **Did you ever try finding Glenn after he went to Atlanta?**

Lilly shook her head. "Not really. Didn't have the gas and it wasn't like we knew him anyways."

"You seemed pretty unhappy he left," said Lee.

"That's because I didn't want him going somewhere dangerous like the city!"

"Or maybe there was something more going on?" accused Lee grinning.

"Oh hush!" She rolled her eyes. "I barely knew Glenn."

"Doesn't mean you couldn't have a crush on him," Doug thought of Carley. Even after knowing her for a day or so, he had developed feelings for the woman.

Clementine: Here is a harpoon gun *tosses the gun* go find the monkey who was being a dick to you

 **Clementine: Here is a harpoon gun *tosses the gun* go find the monkey who was being a dick to you**

"Oh yeah!" she grinned as she raised the gun. It was suddenly snatched away from her by an even larger monkey.

"You will be doing nothing of the sort," he said in a voice very much similar to the terminator. "No violence, no beatings, and no fighting."

"Aw that's no fun!" Clementine pouted as Nick and a few others sighed in relief. "Can I at least hold it?"

"And risk you shooting someone in the eye with it?" scoffed the smaller monkey. "Ha! Nice try. You can hold this!"

He pulled out a cotton ball and threw it at her forehead. "Here. It's not a dangerous weapon, but you can't do any damage with this and look here! You can hold it!"

"I KNOW THAT SMART ASS!" She angrily sighed as she tapped her fingers against the table.

"I see her temper hasn't gone anywhere," Luke whispered to Jane who nodded.

"I heard that Pu-..." she stopped herself short to see that Luke grew a beard. "Oh. You have a beard now."

"Yeah, you like it?" he smiled as he stroked his beard. "I grew it over the break. I've never really been able to grow it out much. Even then it was only a bit of hair. But thanks to Jane's Miracle Cream, I was able to grow it faster than ever! Take a look, gentlemen. See how shiny and beautiful my beard is?"

"It is pretty nice,"complimented Shel. "Can I touch it!"

"Of course!" beamed the man. Shel ran her fingers through it. It was silky smooth and smelled like lavender.

"It feels so smooth and it smells nice too!"

"Thanks to the special and secret formula inside of this cream, my beard feels a lot better than the average beard," as he said this, he pulled out a bottle of cream. It was a large black bottle with "Jane's Miracle Cream" written in fancy golden letters with a picture of chibi Jane grinning and giving a thumbs up on the bottle. It also had the words, in bright green, "Limited Edition" above it. "Don't want to grow a beard? No problem! You can use it to shave off your leg hair!"

"Do you have any for regular hair?" asked Kenny.

"Why do you need it? Going bald already?" Lee teased his friend.

"N-no I just want good hair, that's all."

"Of course! With Jane's..."

"Stop putting in commercials!" yelled the flying monkey. "ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!"

 **Will this one actually finish this time or will you just rage quit like you did when Kenny and Jane died Cause that was really upsetting.**

 _a) Yes b) Like I've said before, I don't even know why I was pissed. I knew something like this would happen. Besides, I'll keep it coming as long as I get a ton of reviews for this session._

 **Clementine! (twenty fans dog pile on Clem)**

"AHHH!" Clementine screamed a bunch of fans wearing "Clementine" merch piled on top of her. "I-I'm happy for the love b-but GET OFF ME! Hey are you wearing my face on a hat? Where'd you get that?"

"I think I saw Du-..." Kenny was cut off by Lee covering up the man's mouth.

"Doug! Doug was selling them!" He interrupted Kenny. "He owes you money!"

 **Lee My man have a drink!**

"Hell yeah!" Lee downed a bottle of champagne. **Kenny...You still suck eggs.**

"Fuck you too!" Kenny gave the finger. **Omid You little leprechaun how's it been?**

"Hey!" Omid scowled. "I thought we left those jokes behind!"

"Nope!" laughed Lee. **Larry what up! (high fives him)**

"First time that's happened," said Larry. **And Duck! (kicks him in the crotch)**

"Duck's not here," Clementine looked around. "Where is he?"

"I haven't the slightest clue," shrugged Kenny. "Probably off driving somewhere."

"Driving? He can drive!" She said in amazement.

"I thought we discussed this!" Katjaa frowned at her ex-husband. Duck had been begging his parents to get him a car, but his mother refused though Kenny didn't think it'd hurt him to learn. Katjaa eventually gave in and regretted it as Duck loved to drive fast. Therefore she has the thinking that if they gave him a car, he'd think it was okay to drive around fast and the only way he wouldn't was if one of his parents came with him.

"I know, but uh a car is a boy's best friend!" he laughed.

"I'm calling that boy!"she stormed off.

"And he has a cell phone!" she smacked the table.

"Can't you buy one?" asked Jane. "You do have the money for it, don't you?"

"I would but A) my parents won't let me and B) I'm still too young," she sighed.

 **A random clown slaps lee with a cactus.**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed holding his face in pain.

"I'm ordering dominoes," said Carley in a calm manner.

"You cunt!" he cursed.

 ***The Flying Hawaiian 001 sits on his computer, typing another Fanfic.***

 **001: Do, do, do. Typing a new story.**

 ***Then, the Clementine from his Scumbags story comes into the room.***

 **Clementine: Um, 001? Did you hear that MistyxKisame made a new story?**

 **001: Oh, that's nice.**

 **Clementine: About us.**

 **001: Um, Clem? I'm pretty sure that's impossible, since I've been writing for you guys since last year.**

 **Clementine: When was the last time you updated the story?**

 **001: ... December 31st, 2017.**

 **Clementine: Uh huh. Look on Misty's page.**

 ***Clementine goes to the computer, and shows 001 the new story.***

 **001: Interviews of the Scumbags: Season 4? Shit! Misty took you guys back! I need to get back to writing my own story!**

 **Clementine: You better. We're all waiting for you, and if you don't pay us soon, there'll be Hell to pay!**

 **001: You do realize that I pay you, right?**

 **Clementine: Oh, right.**

"And quicker too," mumbled Jane.

 **Clem you should hang out with bead bhabie (danillie bregoli**

"I heard of her," said Clementine.

"She reminds me of you except evil," said Nick.

"Shut it, Nicolas!"

 **So ladies and gentlemen how does It feel to be back**

"I'd much rather be invited back and not forced back," said Carley.

"I've run out of money," confessed Gabe. "I need this gig."

"You had plenty. What'd you blow it on?"

"Uh well nothing important."

"I need the money too," said Lilly. "I didn't care for the flying monkeys. Pretty sure one of them had rabies."

"I got a sweet deal on a planet with sexy babes in little to nothing," said Lee. "I didn't want to come back."

"How'd they get you?" asked Glenn.

"Rocket, duh!" he rolled his eyes.

 **THE RAPTORS ARE COMING THE RAPTORS ARE COMING!**

"What? HAVE JAVIER!" yelled Clementine.

"You little...!"

Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (I light his head on fire)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lee ran around in a circle screaming his head off. "MY HAIR! WHAT LITTLE OF IT I HAVE LEFT! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAA"

"Hold still! I got this!" Mira came out from the back and threw a bucket full of water on him. Lee slipped and fell on the floor. After a few seconds of staring at the ceiling for a few seconds, he curled up into a ball and began sobbing. Mira came down beside him and hugged him. "Oh Lee, even if your hair partly gone, I still think you're cute."

"That won't bring back my hair!"

"Eat one jerk!" she yelled as she slapped him on the back. "That's what I get for caring about you and carrying your kid!"

* * *

 **Ben, 1. If you could go back in time and erase three mistakes you have ever made, what would they be?**

Ben thought for a second. "I guess not stealing the supplies, not protecting Clementine, and telling Kenny what happened."

"You what?!" exclaimed Kenny. "You regret telling me that huh? How about I tell you a secret? I fucked your girlfriend!"

"H-huh?" he stared at the older man in disbelief. "You...you...you had sex with my girlfriend!?"

"Yeah, I did feel bad about it until you said that shit!" he shouted.

"Oooooooooh!" said Lee as Clementine gasped and Jane glared at her husband. "Kenny, you're...kinda lame for that. You know this idiot is pathetic. He hasn't had a girlfriend in...huh. I don't think this asshole has ever had a girlfriend. You took the only pussy this guy has ever had!"

"And cheated on his loving wife!" exclaimed Jane.

"Why'd you do that?! I know you hate me but..."

"I don't hate you. I just can't fucking stand you!"

"So you slept with my girlfriend! Screw you!"

 **2\. Do you ever wish you could see your family again?  
**

"All the time," said Ben.

 **Hey Kenny, how did it feel when you lost Sarita? Guess you know how Lilly feels? Anyway, here's a new boat for you that may or may not be secretly rigged to morph into a car.**

"I was distraught!" exclaimed the man. "I blame that shit bird for it! No not you, Ben. Yeah I do know, but not on the same level."

"At least you admit it," said Lilly.

"A new boat huh? Well I'm outta here!" Kenny started to get up only to have the keys to his new boat snatched from him. "Hey!"

"Oh no you don't you cheating slime ball!" she took off running with the keys.

"Get back here!"

Lee, if you had a choice to make, where you are placed in a Jigsaw trap, where you must save Carley and other girls, would you rather just let them die or cut off your...thing to save them.

"Is cutting off my junk necessary?" pouted Lee. He could feel himself shiver at the thought of cutting off his penis to save Carley and the beautiful women he was picturing. "I guess...I guess I would if I could live. If I did live, I guess I could get a fake one...or a vagina. Whichever still allows me to feel pleasure."

 **Larry, what would you have done if you wasn't... as"salt"ed by Kenny?**

"Either beat the hell out of him for doing or kill the St. Johns and then kick his ass," said Larry after a few seconds. "Nice pun."

 **Misty) Glad to have these lovable assholes back! I missed you writing about them!**

 _I missed it a little too._

 **Lee) You don't look too old. A few bags under the eyes, but nothing much.**

"Thank you!" grinned Lee.

 **Clementine) How's it feel to be back with your old crew?  
**

"It's nice I guess," she struggled. "I kinda missed the little shits. Oh and the big shits."

 **To Everyone) Have you guys ever considered traveling to the underworld? I've done it with my Scumbags, and it was... interesting, to say the least!**

"Oh I've been there," said Lee. "Wouldn't do it again."

"No," said Clementine. "It sounds scary though."

"Yeah I think I saw your mom there!" laughed Omid only to get a cotton ball thrown at his face.

"Booo!" said Clementine.

 **Mark Hoffman: *Walks in with a cold expression with a faded scar on his right cheek.* Some kid called me about a sandwhich stealing fucker?**  
 **The hell? How you're still alive!?**  
 **Mark Hoffman: *Stares at me with a intimidating look* ...**  
 **...I dont wanna know instead, here's Mr. Sandwhich Thief over there.**  
 **Clem: Better serve him justice for that stolen delicious sandwich!**  
 **Mark Hoffman: Don't worry kid, I will. *Turns to Javier with a sudden malicious grin while holding a syringe that appeared in his hand.* How'd you feel being in the Reverse Bear Trap, huh?**  
 **Javier: *Shakes his head frantically while backing away slowly.* Get away from me!**  
 **It'll be for eating with that big mouth, jerk bag!**  
 **Mark Hoffman: *Blankly stares at me.*.. Do you wanna end up the same cruel fate as him?**  
 **Sorry, sorry. I had to say it...**

"C-clementine, why?" he asked. "I told you I'd pay you back!"

"Since when?" she scoffed. "And besides, I told you I'd think about it. Well I did it and fuck you! MWAHAHAHA!"

Kenny: You let Duck drive?! Please tell me he didn't give him a fast car.

"Uuuuh..." he looked anywhere but at his angry ex-wife.

"You did, didn't you?" Katjaa groaned as he nodded. "If my baby gets into an accident, I'll never forgive you Kenny!"

"He said he'd be careful!"

"And he also said he wouldn't drag race that punk on that highway!" snarled the blonde woman. She remembered the day she had let Duck drive her car. The two of them had been going for a test drive when some drunk weirdo began hitting on his mother.

 ** _FLASHBACK_**

 _"Ease up on the peddle, dear," said Katjaa, gripping the handle on the door. Duck was going 80 mph when the speed limit was 50 mph. 'It's been 3 months since Duck got his licence and this boy still hasn't learned to not go so fast. Why do I let him at the wheel.'_

 _Suddenly a blue pick up truck passed by holding none other than the dude from 400 days with his windows down and singing "Get Me Some Puss-Puss". It wasn't a real song, just the drunken sounds of a drunken man that just barely sounded like singing. Katjaa was getting more nervous by the second as his car was right beside them on the other lane, swerving on the other lane. If this drunken man turned too far to the left, he'd slam right into them and send them into a tree or another lane. She asked Duck to slow down more so if he did swerve into their lane, they could see him in time._

 _"Mom, nobody's around except that weird dude thinking he can sing."_

 _"Heeeeey sexy mama!" sang Nate grinning at Katjaa. "Nice pair of tits! Mind letting me see 'em up close?"_

 _"Just ignore him mom."_

 _"I was planning on it," said Katjaa. "Now, do as I said and..."_

 _"Don't ignore meh, toots!" shouted over the man. "I just wanna see ya boobies! Maybe a little tail too?"_

 _"Do you mind, mother fucker!" shouted back the younger male. "Can't you see I'm here!"_

 _"Don't worry dude. I don't mind sharin'. We can both run a train on her!" he laughed._

 _"You creep! If you were walking, I'd run you over! Now stop hitting on my mom!"_

 _"KEN!" his mother yelled though she was secretly happy her son was saying such things against the man driving beside them._

 _"Why are you actin' like her daddy? Does she have a daddy kink? Then she can call me daddy too!" he did an obnoxious laugh._

 _Duck sped up only for Nate to do the same in order to keep up with him. He did a few cat calls at the woman, making sure to scram even more sexual comments at the woman. Duck got so irritated with the man that he slammed into the man's truck. Nate nearly went into the ditch on the other side of the road but managed to get his truck back on the road._

 _"What's your problem fool! You wrecked my truck you little shit!" he snarled at the teenager._

 _"I told you to stop hitting on my mother!" he yelled._

 _"I'll tell you what, you little shit. I'll leave your mommy alone if you can beat me to the nearest walmart!" he smirked. "If I win, I get to fuck your mom while you watch."_

 _"Weirdo," Duck scrunched up his nose. "Okay but if I win, which I will, you give me your truck!"_

 _"Fine with me! Let's rid!"_

 _"Hold on mom, this is gonna be sick!" with that he slammed his foot down without giving his mom time to prepare._

 _To make a long story short, Duck was about to give out of gas a mile away from the destination and Nate won. Luckily Nate had gotten far away while Duck and Katjaa got gas and went home._

 **Katjaa: How'd that phone call with your son go?**

"He's on his way," said Katjaa. "I'm taking that car too!"

 **Kenny: How's the marriage with Jane?**

"Okay," shrugged Kenny.

"Until today!" added Jane.

 **Bonnie: *hits her with a pipe* That's for yelling at Clemmy!**

Bonnie was too busy being knocked out to answer.

 **Javier: Damn, you're sexy. Take your shirt off!  
**

"Heh well if you insist!" he laughed turning bright red. Javier took off his t-shirt as requested.

"Hey cutie, you seeing someone?" Mira blushed. "Hot damn I'd love to eat off those abs! Hot damn!"

Majority of the other women murmured in agreement.

"Hey what about me?" said Lee

"What about you?" Mira's eyes narrowed at him. "You're getting that old man tummy. I think even my dad is more buff than you are!"

"Never put that shirt on!" grinned Molly.

"You guys are crazy. His breath smells like asscheeks, I bet he doesn't wipe his ass, and he hates deodarant!" said Clementine.

"Hater," said Javier.

 **Gabe: You're such a little bitch. I'm glad you died in my game! :D**

"That's harsh!" said Gabe.

"At least you're not Nick," said Clementine.

 **Jane: Are you going to tell Luke about Lil Luke or should I?  
**

"Oh yeah I was pregnant with your kid once," said Jane nonchalantly.

"What? Wait, didn't you tell me?"

"I don't think so."

 **Alvin: Same as Gabe's. You didn't die soon enough.**

"What'd I do to you?!" shouted Alvin.

 **Nick: *kicks him in the balls* That's because I hate you!**

"GAH MY NUTS!" Nick cried out.


	3. Chapter 4

**?:*Puts Jane into the Scalping Chair from Saw IV* Hello Jane, i would like to play a game. For your time in the zombie apocalypse, you've acted as nothing more than a sociopathic bitch. Your actions include: leaving your sister to die, shooting a man's dick off and allowing him to be eaten, leaving a baby in a car with freezing temperatures...Shall I go on? The chair you are strapped to will slowly begin to pull your hair and eventually your scalp off. To avoid this fate, you must press two buttons, which will cause two spikes to impale your eyes. Live or die Jane. Make your choice.**

"It takes a sociopath to know one!" she thought about what she just said. "Hey I'm not a sociopath! OW OW! Damn this shit hurts!"

"Do something, Jane!" shouted Clementine. "Press the button!"

"But I don't feel like being blind!" Jane said before the machine started tugging on her still short hair. So be blind or get her scalp ripped off. What a dilemma she was facing. Then she thought about something she had read about in that magazine on her business trip selling her creams. She slammed her fingers down onto the buttons and screamed as the spikes went into her eyes.

"Time to call the hospital," said Clementine who actually called the ambulance this time.

 **Clementine: shove that cotton ball down luke throat in a "non violent" way.**

 **"Luke, will you please allow me to shove this down your throat?" Clementine batted her eyes at the man and put on her cutest smile.**

"How about no."

Oh is that Bonnie in a bikini!?" Clementine pointed behind the man.

"Where?!" Clementine then proceeded to shove a cotton ball into his gaping mouth.

 **Hey Katjaa Nate's back and he still wants you!**

"Not again!" she sighed. "Why are the crazy ones always after me?!"

"Damn, get wrecked Kenny!" laughed Clementine.

"I wasn't crazy!" exclaimed Kenny feeling offended at his ex's words.

"You were crazy jealous at times," said Katjaa.

"And then some," muttered Jane.

"Takes crazy to know crazy!"

"And that's why you two are a perfect match," laughed Lee.

 **Also Love potion time! (Throws love potion at Luke and he falls in love with Gabe)**

"Back at it again with the love potions!" Carley rubbed her forehead. "Good thing I took an "Anti-love potion" injection before I got here."

"Can't...resist urge!" Luke tackled Gabe.

"EW! Get off me, you freak!" shouted Gabe trying to pry off Luke.

"I always knew Luke was a nasty son of a bitch!" Clementine shouted. "Hey Terminator Monkey! Aren't you suppose to be doing your job?!"

"Frank's out," said the only winged monkey in the room. "Oh yes I forgot to tell you my name."

"It's not that ser-..."

"It's Ted and I'll be taking over his job for the moment," he took out a frying pan and beat Luke unconscious. "There."

"Hey you broke a rule!" shouted Clementine. "No fair!"

"Life isn't fair, kiddo."

 **Ben: 1. Has anyone ever called you Shaggy or Pewdiepie?**

"Not that I can recall," said Ben.

LOL those are the universal names for him. That or their love child. XD

 **2\. What would you do if you got turned into a girl one day?**

Ben tapped his chin. "Hm. I don't know. I guess be weirded out for a second. Then I'd find clothes that fit though. Oh and am I pretty?"

"Why thinking of finally getting laid?" joked Kenny.

"Fuck off, Kenny!"

 **Mark Hoffman: Okay asshole, you're coming with me now. *Tackles at Javier and stabs him with the syringe and watches him pass out.***  
 **Can I set up the trap?**  
 **Mark Hoffman: Fuck no, you'll end up rigging the trap as letting him die instantly. *Drags Javi's unconscious body away.***  
 **Oh like you hadn't before...**  
 **Clem: Hopefully that motherfucker WILL die..**  
 **Okay! Well, I'm taking Clem to the REAL Jigsaw (John Kramer) then! Come with me rugrat, you'll learn how to set deadly traps on people.**  
 **Clem: Yes!**  
 **Lee: You're not taking her!**  
 **Clem: B-but why!? I wanna learn how to set up deadly traps!**  
 **Luke: Don't take her to become a homicidal murderer! She'll murder the ones she hate after!**  
 **Clem: Fuck you!**  
 **Lee: Do it and you're dead! *Points a loaded gun at me.***  
 **Oh! Ummm, I'm going to hang out with Eleanor now. *Walks away hurriedly with a panicked expression.* Maybe I'll take Clem and Duck when no one's looking...**

"You guys are no fun!" whined the teenager.

"You have a full life ahead of you!" said Lee. "We don't need you becoming a psycho like your friend Jane!"

"Just because I can't see doesn't mean I can't hear!" growled the woman. She was wearing bandages around her face where her eyes had been taken out.

 **John Kramer: *Walks into the room as Clem fangirls at the sight of him.* Hello strange scumbags, I have come here to inform you something.**  
 **Lee: Wait! Where's that weird ass chick and psycho that just took Javier!**  
 **John Kramer: ... That's what I'm here for and they're currently being dealt with at the moment, but as for your friend...**  
 **Clem: He's no friend of mine! Did the fucker died!?**  
 **John Kramer: He may have failed the little test...**  
 **Clem: *Backflips with happiness.* Yes!**  
 **John Kramer: *Looks at Clem weirdly.* My odd apprentice (me) is locked up with Hoffman in the bathroom where he was once before.**  
 **Lee: Good, keep that bitch locked up with that psycho.**  
 **Luke: Oh god, and please let that weird girl and serial killer be dealt with permanently.**  
 **Clem: Tell her and Mark I said hi!**  
 **John Kramer: *Walks away silently without a word.* ...**  
 **Clem: Hopefully he does tell them I said hi... WAIT! I FORGOT TO ASK YOU TO GIVE ME YOUR AUTOGRAPH MR. JOHN KRAMER! *Runs after John.***

"Clem, get back here!" cried out Luke and Lee as they ran off after the teen.

 **Jane, save your marriage by contacting a marriage counselor before it falls apart terribly.**

"They already have issues," pointed out Mike. "I don't think it'll take a marriage counselor to fix that mess of a marriage."

"Keep your mouth shut!" hissed Kenny. "Katjaa and I went to one once and..."

"We all see how that turned out," Katjaa shook her head.

"Yeah, my son isn't mine!" he shouted.

"He is your's!"

"Bullshit, Katjaa!"

As the two argued, Jane started going through the phone book for a good marriage counselor.

 **Kenny, Jane's pregnant with your kid. *Tosses him a positive pregnancy test.***

"Another one? You going to take care of _that_ one?" sneered the blonde woman laughing as soon as she heard this. Kenny glared at her.

"I take good care of my kids, dammit!"

 **Clem, You got Jigsaw's autograph yet? I could help the girl and Mark escape for you to become like them.**

"No, these two dummies brought me back," she pouted. "Oh please do!"

"DON'T!" said Lee.

"She's already crazy. Let's not tempt the devil." said Luke.

 **Gabe, STAY AWAY FROM CLEMENTNE BITCH! *Hits him with a frying pan.***

"What the hell!" he rubbed his head. "I don't...hey stop hitting me!"

"He's no threat." She shrugged him off. "I've had worse after me."

 **Lee, your not that old to me since you still look kinda same a bit.**

"Some sees!" grinned the former teacher.

 **Luke... I'm sorry to do this but... *Shaves his beard and runs away before kicking Nick in the crotch.* BYE MOTHERFUCKER!**

"No! My baby!" Luke sobbed as he held what was left of his beard.

"Again with the kicking!" groaned Nick holding his balls again.

 **Lee, how does it feel that if you and the group went with Glenn, most of your group would still be alive**

Lee's eye twitched. "Are you serious?! Damn it!"

"That's a depressing thought," added Clementine.

 **Read 'If only they knew' and 'Unravel' everybody! Yes including you too Carver, asshole.**  
 **And tell me your opinions and hate on Carver.**

"He looks like a pervert!" said Gabe looking over the stories. "I wouldn't be surprised if he did something like that before."

"There's one positive to this. This didn't really happen." said Clementine. "On the other hand, I'm going to poison Carver."

"I wouldn't do anything like this!" exclaimed Carver.

"This is..." Lee felt sick to his stomach before punching Jane in the stomach and Carver in the face. "How dare you nearly kill my Clem and you! You sick fuck!"

"I-I-I didn't do anything!" growled Jane once she caught her breath back.

"You would have!"

"It's fiction! Calm down!" said Carver.

"Y-you're right," said Lee. "I'm sorry..."

He then proceeded to get out of his chair and throw it at Carver's face. "But I'm not sorry for getting you for kidnapping my Clementine and smacking her! Eat a dick! Come here Luke! You need some too!"

"But I didn't...!" He was kicked in the crotch and joined Nick on the floor.

"You want some too Troy!? I owe you twice the ass whoopin'!" Troy, he was in the middle of reading it, gulped, threw down his tablet, and took off running.

Ted was too busy crying in a corner to give much of a shit at the moment.


	4. Chapter 5

**Olive:Psst! Clem, you still want that autograph? Here! *Passes her a billy puppet with carved signed: John Kramer aka Jigsaw.* This is the original billy puppet I've managed to find from the past crime scenes. And I've managed to set Mark and the girl free for you! They're gonna he here in a bit I think.**

"Yes!" she pumped her fist before dancing around. "I got my wish! Yeah! Yes! Yes Yes!"

 **Lee, How'd you feel that Mark and the girl are NOW set free from the bathroom to take Clem and Duck?**

 **Kenny, same question as Lee.**

"I'll kill those bastards!" said Lee shaking his fists.

"Leave my boy out of this!" yelled Kenny.

"Leave me out of what?" Everyone turned to the entrance. It was an unrecognizable tall young man with short brown hair, an athletic build to him, and was wearing a jogging outfit.

"Who the hell are you?" Mira asked as she tried to place him.

"It's me, Duck!" He grinned. "I knew you guys wouldn't recognize me! Hey, Clem! Long time no see!"

Clementine fell out of her chair. Jane peered down at her. "Kid, are you okay?"

Clementine didn't say a word as she stayed underneath the table, muttering to herself.

 **Luke, Hey! It was either shaving off your beard or placing you in the shotgun collar (Saw III)!**

"When you put it that way, that's fine with me!" said Luke. You'd have to be insane to value a beard over possibly being killed for it. Besides, he could always use his beard cream. Wait a minute, he was out! He tried squeezing out more cream but only a drop came out. "Shit. I'm out."

"Don't worry, you can order more!" Jane grinned as she held up an order form.

"But it's expensive," he had spent more than a thousand dollars on a 12 pack.

"Then spend your next paycheck on more than."

"You're cruel."

"No, I'm a business woman."

 **Jane, How's the marriage counselling going?**

"It went well," said Jane smiling.

"They fought the whole time and ended up fucking that night," revealed Lee. "I should know. I was next door listening."

"That session was private, ya perv!" the two said in unison.

"I can't help it! You two idiots are forgetting that I was using your shower!" he explained. "Jane was on the phone yelling about everything and Kenny was yelling at her. You see it all happened like this..."

 ** _FLASHBACK_**

 _Lee was in the middle of taking off his clothes when he heard shouting from the other room. Jane and Kenny were jumping down each other's throats about something. Usually he found this kind of thing interesting and, to a point, hilarious. However Kenny and Jane's arguing was never anything funny. Things were often thrown at each other and what came after? Make up sex. In the past, Lee would have spied on the pair but over the years he lost interest in it. Even before then, he wasn't interested in seeing Kenny screw anybody. It felt weird. He wondered why Jane and Kenny even went to their sessions. All they did was fight and when the poor meek counseler would try speaking up, they'd scream at him._

 _"You're such an ass! You didn't have to tell that woman that!" yelled Jane as she slammed a door. "And the next time you call me a bitch, I'll ring your neck!"_

 _"Shut it insane Jane!" he said as he threw his coat onto the hallway floor as he elbowed past her._

 _"Watch it, you bastard!" she growled as she looked down at his coat. "And don't throw your shit on the floor!"372_

 _"It's my house so I'll do what I want!" he said as he went into the bathroom. "Why don't you run me a bath. It's the only thing you can't fuck up!"_

 _"Bite me!" she slammed a door. It was quiet for a while, signaling Lee that they would probably be avoiding each other for a while. Hopefully he could escape from being forced to side with either of them or beaten down if he refused. Usually when the pair fought, it resulted in them throwing things, sometimes at him._

 _He took his time bathing, carefully listening out for his friend and his pissed off wife. After 24 minutes, the water was starting to get colder and thus time to get out. He would have stayed longer as he was scared of running into their fighting again. After drying himself off and slipping on his clothes, he pressed his ear against the door. He could hear the sound of the TV downstairs but no other noises. Either Jane was still in another room, possibly a guest room or their bed room, or she was the one watching the TV in the living room. If it was the brunette, then Kenny was likely in the garage working on a vehicle he picked up or out for a drive._

 _Just as he began to go down the stairs, he heard Jane's voice. Kenny was on the couch watching the "The Crawfish Chronicles" when Jane stormed in and threw a box of condoms at the man's head. "Kenny, you piece of shit! You had sex with that bitch in my home?!"_

 _"What are you bitching about now?!"_

 _"Condoms? We don't use condoms!"_

 _"You stupid bitch, we used a condom last night!"_

 _"Oh, right," she said sheepishly. "W-well maybe we shouldn't because you left it in me!"_

 _Lee blinked. How the hell does a condom fall off? Kenny must have bought the wrong size and it slipped off during sex. Kenny rolled his eyes at her. "It only fell off because someone feels like an anaconda gripping my dick."_

 _'Did he really try insulting her?' Lee nearly laughed at this. Wasn't that a good thing? Apparently not as Jane started insulting him as she repeatedly smacked him with a roll of condoms._

 _"Eat my ass, you big dicked, lazy idiot!" Kenny jumped off of the couch._

 _"Maybe I will, you clown!" he poked her in the chest._

 _"You're gross!" yelled Jane. "Like I would like a gross old fart like you touch me! You'd have to be drunk or crazy!"_

 _"If the shoe fits, wear it psycho!" he shoved her which caused her to shove him even harder. He fell over the arm of the chair and he landed on his back. He threw a pillow at her face which ended up triggering a pillow fight. Shouting did not turn into laughter as Lee thought it would as the two yelled back handed compliments at each other. Eventually Jane ended up tripping over a Thomas the Tank engine toy. Where the toy came from, Lee didn't know as the pair didn't have a child together. Jane didn't "do" babysitting and Kenny didn't either. Duck was too old to play with toy trains. In the middle of his thoughts, Kenny showed some concern towards his wife._

 _"J-jane!" he exclaimed as he flew to her side. Then everything turned back the way it was as soon as Kenny uttered out, "You stepped on my Thomas the Tank engine, you clumsy bitch!"_

 _"You care more about a train than your loving wife?!" she threw the pillow she had dropped while falling at his face while he petted his precious toy. "I always knew you were childish, but I didn't know it was that bad!"_

 _"This is a rare, limited edition Thomas! The only reason I even have it because I only collect the rare ones! I must have left it while I was cleaning them off."_

 _"I could have busted my ass!" she yelled as she got up. "You're disgusting!"_

 _"I'm disgusting!? What about your love of sucking dick? You're not even good at it!"_

 _"Oh yeah?!"_

 _"Yeah!"_

 _"Well let's prove it then, shall we!"_

 _"Oh yes we shall!"_

 _For whatever reason, they both ran off to the bedroom. Shortly after Lee heard noises that a grown man should never hear. Okay he could hear it, but even Lee, who used to be the most sexual man alive, felt it was nasty to listen to. It was so graphic even a porn start that participated in the wildest of fetish porn was taking notes. The former teacher wondered if they remembered he was in the house. Probably not since the door was open and Lee could hear everything._

"You could have announced you were there," muttered Jane.

"For you two to throw shit at me? No thanks!"

 **Katjaa, I feel bad for you with 'the perverted Nate' stuff going on...**

"Don't pity me! Help me!" she said as she hid under her table.

 **Gabe, Sorry pal... NOT! *Hits him repeatedly with a heated frying pan this time.***

"MY FACE!" Gabe sobbed after the first smack.

 **John: *Runs in the room with a heated expression.* OLIVE! DID YOU SET MY NOW FORMER APPRENTICES FREE FROM THE BATHROOM!**

 **What!? No!**

 **Kenny/Lee/Luke: She did!**

 **F*** YOU! *Runs away with John after her.***

 **Clem: I'LL SAVE YOU!**

"Get back here, kid!" Lee grabbed her by the back of her shirt collar.

 **The hell is happening here!?**

 _Madness. RUN_

 **Mark Hoffman: *Walks in with a pig mask.* I'm here for the kids, you pathetic low lives.**  
 **Nick: HEY-wait, where's the weird one?**  
 **Mark Hoffman: She went to save Olive from John but we'll soon meet up after. *Looks at Clem and Duck and throws them some black clothing and pig masks.* Let's teach you how to capture some low lives before getting to the trap making.**  
 **Clem: HELL YES!**  
 **Duck: This is gonna be awesome!**  
 **Kenny: LIKE HELL YOU AR- *Stops suddenly with a sharp knife held to his throat.* You're both old enough to make your own choices.**  
 **Katjaa: KENNY YOU COWARD!**  
 **Lee: SON OF A! *Goes to tackle Hoffman but was harshly knocked out by him.***  
 **Mark Hoffman: Better. Now let's go my apprentices. *Walks away with Clem and Duck following him like little 'ducklings' with excited faces.***  
 **Hey! I'm back from saving Olive, what did I miss? *Looks Lee's unconscious form* oh jeez.. guess HoffyCoffee got here before me.**  
 **Luke: ... Can you get Clem and Duck back?**  
 **No. *Walks away like anything never happened while humming 'Hello Zepp'.***

"You have no balls, you know that right?" Lee asked with a raised brow at his long time friend.

"I don't see you doing anything!" he retorted.

 **?: *Walks into room and snaps their finger, causing Ben to turn into a girl.* :)**

"W-what the hell did you do to me?!" Ben squeaked.

"You're cuter as a girl," complimented Lee. "Uh no homo I think?"

"Didn't you date, Nick?" brought up Carley.

"We don't talk about those dark years."

"What the hell did I do!?" Nick glared at his former lover.

 **Lee, who would win in a fight? Kenny or Ice King?**

"The Ice King, because someone doesn't have any BALLS!"

 **Hey Javier, how does it feel to be the new Nick?**

"NO!" He then covered his mouth as Nick threw him a dirty look. "I-I mean oh how lucky...no I can't even lie. Please I'd rather be someone else. What about Lee? He had a ton of hot babes!"

 **Bonnie, why did you blame Clementine for the death of Luke? Luke told her to shoot at the walkers as he climbs out. If you haven't walk over to Luke, the ice wouldn't have collapsed.**

"He needed help! She was light enough to help pull him out!" explained Bonnie. "I could have shot the walkers while she helped him."

 **Mark, how did your glasses break, and was it before or when the apocalypse started?**

"My glasses are fine," said Mark.

 **Gabe, when you were much younger, you had a different toboggan. Did you lose it, or did you find a better one to fit?**

"I'm pretty sure I lost it," said Gabe after a moment. "That or it's still buried in the garage."

 **Hey Jane, how was the scalping chair? To be fair, I was originally going to put you in the Angel Trap, but that would be just ironic considering you're anything but an angel.**

"Horrible, thank you." said Jane before cursing under her breath. "Asshole."

Hey Troy. What did lee do to you?

"He hung me by my underwear off a flag pole," he rubbed his ass. "It took the doctors five hours to get it out of the crack of my ass. Then came extracting of the potato. That took 6."

"Geez Lee!" Lilly said as she looked at the man in horror. "It was a fucking story! He didn't do anything!"

"He hit Clementine!"

"What you did was 10x worse!" cried Troy. His ass was still aching.

"I know. I apologize. My anger got the best of me."

"You think?" everyone exclaimed in unison.

 **Lee, you are trapped in a room with Danny, Andy, Carver and the Stranger. The last four are tied to a pole and in your hand is a pistol containing three bullets. Who do you shoot, and why?**

"Damn that's hard," he paused. He had to figured out who was the worst. Danny and Andy were on the same level as crazy, Carver was a piece of shit but not as big as the brother, and the Stranger took Clementine. "I guess the Stranger because he's a nut case."

 **Ted. Why the hell were you crying?**

"That was the saddest story I've ever read!" sobbed the monkey. "It's sadder than Javier's face."

 **Gabe. *Looks like him with pity.* That other girl was crazy for hitting you just because you had a simple crush on Clementine? Wow.**

"It happens..." he sighed.

"To you? Nah," laughed his uncle.

 **Lee. Yeah, Gabe had a crush on your baby Clem at season 3.**

"Oh really?" he looked Gabe over. "He looks legit. Do anything to Clementine and I swear I'll burn you!"

"I believe it," he said as he glanced over at Troy.

(Reads the past reviews.) Oh crap, how's the 'how to become Jigsaw' training going kiddos?

"So much fun!" said Clementine.

"We practice on dummies. It was kinda lame." said Duck.

 **Kenny, you fucking coward. Can't even prevent your son and Lee's girl from becoming future murderers, I feel bad for the unborn kid that Jane is carrying..**

"He had a weapon! Besides it wasn't like they were going to hurt them!" pointed out Kenny.

"No. Balls."

"Shuddup Lee!"

 **Ha! Jane admitted that she's a sociopath! *Gets face whacked by her* Uugh~**

"Call me that again!" she growled.

"They said you called yourself that," reminded Lee.

"Oh well what I said was a slip of the tongue."

 **Nate; Are always you like this around the ladies?**

"Only around the MILFS!" he laughed, putting an arm around Katjaa.

Okay, who wants me to deal with the weird girl and Hoffman?  
Nobody shouldn't become a murderer a young age!

"Me!" said Lee raising his hand. "It's my fault she's this way."

"Yes it is," said Luke. "I volunteer too!"

 ***runs to gabe and roundhouse gabe in the head* kept the change roadhouse**

"Why?!" he rubbed his head. "I didn't do anything!"

 **Everyone's thoughts of Javier's experience with the Reverse Bear Trap where Mark placed him in?**

"He isn't going to put anybody else inside of that, is he?" asked Gabe nervously.

"Never again!" said Javier.

"I'm with the kid on this one," said Nick. As unpopular as he was, he was usually the first to be thrown inside of another torture device. He was secretly relieved when Javier was the first to go. He feared he was next.

"Carver next!" said Alvin.

"How about Alvin? He's a pimp for a living since the break!" said Carver.

"Pimp coat and everything?" asked Lee.

"The cane even has a sword," he said as he held up a picture of Alvin decked out in stereotypical pimp clothing.

 **Hahahahaha! (I throw a battle axe and it hits Carver in the back)**

 **Also Lee I dare you to go out and teach a class room for the day and Clem has to be one of your students!**

 **And the class is History! Mwahahahahahah!**

"That's not evil," Lee chuckled.

"It is when your teacher rambles about history," said Nick having accidentally gotten Lee talking his ear off about the Civil War.

"You liked hearing it when I got you into bed," Nick turned bright red.

"Shut it and what happened with the 'dark day' huh asshole?!"

(I'll do the whole history class next chapter.)


	5. Chapter 6

"Damn it Kenny, hold still!" Lee was attempting to change Kenny's bandage. He refused to allow anyone to come anywhere near him not even a doctor. Lee figured that if he tried, maybe Kenny would allow him to change it.

"Don't touch me, bastard!" he attempted to shove his long time friend off. "I don't need you to help me!"

"Let me see it or I'll kick your ass!"

"Oh like you did on the train?" he rolled his eye. Lee glared at him and began to say something when Duck poked his head.

"Dad, we got a meeting. It's a huge one!"

"Can't we skip it?" groaned the man. He really hated meetings. It was usually consisting of trust exercises, lectures on how to treat each other, and other related "nonsense". He really didn't see why as the host was planning on waiting until the final season was finished. Given how TTG was, it'd be a while.

"No, it's a number one priority at the moment dad."

In the meeting room, there were a few new faces from the recent season of The Walking Dead and Michonne appearing to be confused and even a bit annoyed by the antics going on in the meeting room. Katjaa was trying to shove Nate's drunken ass off of her, Becca was hollering at Javier about stealing her sandwich, Gabe was eating was secretly eating said sandwich, Rebecca was arguing with Alvin about how their son turned out, Lilly and Carley were arguing about the father of their children, Mira was literally drooling over Javier, Larry was threatening Doug by dangling him out of the window, and Rodrik was strangling Asher while his siblings looked on.

"Are you as weirded out as I am?" Lois whispered to Violet.

"Hell yes I am. Who are these weirdos?" she whispered back.

"Everyone sit down!" yelled Ted. "We have business to discuss!"

Once everyone had sat down, he cleared his throat. "Look we just received news that Telltale Games, your creator, is shutting down. That means no more Wolf Among Us…"

"What?!" said Bigby. "No more...oh wait. I have a whole comic book series that ended years ago. This doesn't really effect Snow and I."

"What about us?" asked Rodrik gesturing to himself and his family. "We don't find out what happened to our house!"

"Nope. Sorry, but it didn't look like TTG cared about you guys if they haven't given you a game in more than 3 years." shrugged the monkey. "At least your brother is alive right?"

"My mother died!" he slammed his fist into the table. "My other brother was slain and my other brother held hostage! This is bullshit! I want to kill **all** the fucking Whitehills!"

"What about me and AJ?" asked Clem. "I've been the face of this series for years!"

"Nope. One more episode and that's it."

"At least no more trouble comes our way." said Violet before getting hit in the face with a chair.

"Shut it! I-I didn't get a whole season!"

"Stop whining, Clem. You outlived almost all of us and you got one season 1 to yourself and another even if it's not going to be finished." pointed out Jane. "You got the best luck."

"Oh yeah. Still sucks though." pouted Clem.

"Yeah and this was my first speaking role that counts!" pouted AJ. "I wanna do more!"

"So does this mean the Scumbag interviews are done?" asked Lee. "At least we all can have more adventures here if not in TTG's games, right?"

"Oh for sure! Because of the shut down of TTGs, we're including a lot more TTG characters which includes the Michonne cast, Season 1-4 of TWD, The Wolf Among Us, and Batman!" he paused for a second. "Wait where are they?"

A female monkey dressed in a tutu named Daisy came in. "We have to get some release forms finished up to get everyone from the asylum and prison in here. Plus a lot more guards just in case."

"Okay then." Ted turned back to his audience. "So yeah sorry your series are cancelled. But hey it could be worse. You could've been fucked over like the employees. By the way, we all hope you guys find jobs soon. It sucks what happened to you guys. Thanks for bringing us these wonderful characters...well mostly wonderful."

"HEY!" said everyone in unison, unsure who the monkey was talking about.

"That's all for now. I'll give you new people time to get settled in and await your questions as well as your upcoming beatings."

"You're not serious, right?" asked Lois.

"Fuck no!" said Nick rubbing his ass. "I've suffered so much abuse in season 1 of this series. I do hope you're not as hated as I am. Otherwise consider yourself literally fucked…"

"With a cactus." said Clementine.

"What kind of hellhole are we in?!" said Violet horrified.

"The worst kind." said Ben sighing. "You'd be better off in a room full of walkers."

* * *

So yeah this is being continued. I stopped because I wanted all of season 4 out. Why? I didn't wish to be spoiled. Now...TTG is being shut down and it's before the final season was finished. I've already seen episode 1 AND the trailer from episode 2 which is still coming out. I'm disappointed that both TWAU and TWD are both cancelled. At least TWD had 1 episode with another coming out. I hear the reason they're closing is because of poor sales. I just wished they released the whole thing at once. To make matters worse, the employees at the company had it a lot worse than the customers did. I won't go into detail but it's a sad situation. From what I heard, the only thing being worked on is...Minecraft for Netflix or something. I'm bitter that's being worked on and not TWD, but nothing I or anybody else can do about it. Maybe a good company can take over the project, finish up what TTG started, and give it to us. Whatever happens, I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Whatever happens, I want all former TTG employees to be able to get a great job asap. That's really what's important here.


	6. Chapter 7 Author's Note

**Author's Note: It's been a while huh? The absence from this site is because I'm was quitting or at least that's the plan after finishing this. I'm not really into writing fan fiction anymore and I'm not exactly the same person I've been since writing these stories. Actually I do feel embarrassed about a lot of the immature shit I've written over my Fanfiction "career". I'm happy people enjoy my material, but I really don't enjoy most of it anymore. What does that mean for everything? Most of it will remain unfinished unless I REALLY feel like it. Nothing will be deleted since that really sucks to find out something you love is gone forever. Don't say "Everything on the internet is there forever." because the less popular stories you write might not be saved. Hell two of my oldest stories are gone forever because my dumb ass didn't save either. So this story and many others will be saved for whoever cares about it. **

**Anyways, this story will be continued for a long time since it allows me to be silly, lazy, and immature one last time as nothing else silly is planned for the future as, again, fanfiction isn't for me anymore. There will be plenty more chapters to come, so don't think this story is over yet. I don't mind doing this every once in a while when really bored or I get enough "reviews". If this is cringe inducing to anyone, fuck it. It's silly and fun to some people so let's just enjoy this alright? Another thing is that I'll only occasionally do this once I have enough reviews. If I only have a small bit at a time, I will probably leave this story be until it reaches an amount I like. .**

* * *

 **Be happy you didn't buy it. I'm probably going to be super pissed after finishing Episode 2. Clem will get bit or AJ will get kidnapped or something equally cliffhanger-ish and that'll be it.**

 **It sounds like Telltale finally realized their mistake and spent money they didnt have to try and fix things...but ended up screwing them and their employees over.**  
 **I really hope the writers of TWD figure out some way to finish the game since most of them were seriously invested in the story of Clementine and not just forcing themselves into it for a paycheck.**

 _Well someone got kidnapped depending on your choices. I don't know if they'll kill her off._

 _It's been a while so you've probably heard about Skybound buying them out. :)_

 **I always despise things being left unfinished, and since TWD meant much to me and the Minecraft story-mode is going to fail, it pisses me off. I despised Netflix to begin with, always been a terrible service but now i just wish they'd go bankrupt.**

 **Call it selfish, but i really wish they'd just forget the Minecraft crap and focus on the thing they had already started.**

 **I'm with you, I say ironically because I rarely finish jack-shit. TWD meant a lot to many others too even if the sales failed for the last season. Can you blame us? Your choices don't really have much of an impact and some things get forced on you. No shit sales didn't do well since it's more fun watch to youtubers play it. As for Minecraft, fuck it! Not the game but the TTGs version. The original Minecraft is fine. I don't use Netflix so I wouldn't know. I don't think they'll go bankrupt at this rate.**

 **Me too but here's the thing. They made a deal with Netflix which is paying for Minecraft Storymode. Netflix won't pay for anything else.**

 **Clem what are your thoughts on the new and older duck**

Clementine rubbed her chin. "Well he's not ugly."

Gabe loudly cleared his throat causing Clementine to stare at him. "What? Do you think he's cute?"

"No! I..."

"I knew it!" shouted Javier smirking at his nephew. "I could tell the moment you started flirting with Clem."

"What?" Clementine looked at Javier, reasonably confused.  
"After all, who would flirt with a such a manish girl!" he burst out laughing. "He had to think she was a man before he found out she was a girl."

"Screw you!" she threw a chair at his face. "I didn't look like a man!"

She looked at Gabe. "Right?"

"No way!" he shook his head. "You were pretty hot...uh I mean not as hot as you are now."

"Thank you!" Clementine sneered at Javier before looking back at Gabe. "Um did you say I was hot?"

"I uh next question!" he said quickly turning his head away from Clementine.

 **Clementine: Are you expecting?**

"How did you know?" Lee, Kenny, Christa, and Violet spat out their drinks; Omid, Lois, and Duck's dropped open; and Katjaa gasped with her hand over her mouth. Everyone else began excitedly whispering about what they just heard.

"C-clementine!" her mother gasped. "W-what the hell do you mean?"

"Why is everyone freaking out?" she looked around at the shocked and even angry faces.

"It's not like any of you haven't gotten anything from the mail man."

"Whose this mailman?! I'll kill him!" shouted Kenny.

"For what?"

"For what? You shouldn't be letting the mailman give you anything!" shouted Ed with her mother nodding in agreement.

"What? How come?" she was even more confused than ever. "He's given me stuff before!"

"Oh really?" he pulled out a baseball bat. "How about I give something to him?"

"What for?!"

"Clementine, I know you raised AJ, but that doesn't mean you NEED to have a kid!" shouted Lee. "You're too young right now!

"WHAT?" What did packages have to do with a baby? "Lee what are you on?!"

"Whose is it?" asked Lois.

"The mailman's dumbass." said Violet.

"And who the fuck is that, genius?" he retorted.

"I bet she doesn't know who the daddy is." Becca whispered to Sarah who nodded.

"I heard that!" she shouted at Becca.

"It's not yours is it?" Javier asked his nephew.

"I-I don't think so..."

"OH REALLY!" Kenny grabbed Gabe by his collar and was about to punch him when Javier grabbed his hand. "Let me go, asshole!"

"You're not about to hit my nephew!"

"Oh yes I am!"

"No you're not!"

As they went back and forth, some of the others debated on who the father of the baby was. Clementine was meanwhile rubbing her forehead out of frustration. Once the chattering got to her she screamed. "SHUT THE HELL UP! I was talking about a package you nitwits!"

"A-a package?" everyone said.

"Yeah. That's what I thought they meant." she huffed. "I'm not pregnant..."

"Oh thank god!" Lee sighed with relief.

"...not yet anyways."

"Clementine!"

"Heh, just kidding!" she laughed.

"You really shouldn't joke like that." lectured Javier frowning at the teenager. "You scared us."

"Why? It's not like I'd ever lay with your funky ass."

"I'm saying it because nobody wants another demon that looks and acts like you. We have enough monsters in our world. We don't need another." he smirked at her. She grabbed another chair and threw it and missed. He laughed before meeting a shoe to his face.

 **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I WANNA SEE THE REST OF TWDG SEASON 4! AND NOW WELL NEVER GET A SEASON 3 of BATMAAAAAN!**  
 **We do now. Don't ask me about Batman because I don't know.**

 **Doug your my favorite season one character**  
"Glad to know!" he smiled. It was a rare treat to know someone liked him.

 **Alvin Jr carver is ur father not Alvin**

"So I'm named after the wrong guy?" he asked.

"I knew he was mine!" smirked Carver. "Take that you weak piece of trash!"

"Damn it, Rebecca!" he glared at his ex-wife.

 **Pours scumbag potion down Dougs throat, and he turns and slaps lee so hard teeth fly out. Then he steps on Lees balls**

"Doug, I don't care if you're under the influence!" Clementine swung to hit Doug but missed and received an upper cut underneath her chin. When she got back up to hit him, she was punched in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her.

"Hey!" Gabe got up, pushing up his sleeves. "You don't put your hands on a woman!"

"Sure I can!" he slapped Gabe across the face. "See?"

Javier came at him and tried to clobber him but Doug easily handled him by throwing him onto the ground. Now that he was on the floor, he was kicked in the ribs. Rodrik stepped in and drew his sword. "Step down, Doug, or else."

"Oooh tough guy here's too much of a pussy to fight hand to hand!" laughed Doug. "Why don't you put it down and we can see if you can make me stop!"

"Whether or not I have a sword doesn't mean shit when you're attacking people who don't deserve it!"

"Doesn't deserve it?! Were you not here for the past 4 seasons?!" Doug yelled, scowling at the man. "That asshole has made my life hell! He stole my woman!"

"I wasn't yours in the first place!" pointed out Carley.

"You would've been if he wasn't in the way! Damn it Carley, I loved you! Yet you chose that bastard whose cheated on you, flirted with other women in your face, and denied your baby!" he ranted. "I could treat you like a queen instead of the dumbass bitch that choose to because Mrs. Everrett!"

"If there was ever a chance I'd wanted you, you just threw it away!" she growled at the man.

 **Christa do you still blame clem for omids death**

"Kinda." said Christa. "I mean she was suppose to have her gun on her. Still, Omid and I are at fault too."

 **Lee clementine kenny and ben what was going through your minds when lily shot doug/carley**  
"I was shocked and angry when it happened." explained Lee. "I knew Lilly was pissed but I didn't think she'd kill someone like that. Not over food. I knew she couldn't have come with us after that."

"Shit that coulda been me on that ground. I did drop that salt lick on Larry." said Kenny. "That's why I told Lee we had to leave her."

"I was terrified!" said Clementine. "I-I'd never seen someone get shot for no reason before. It was outta nowhere. Doug didn't deserve to die and neither did Carley."

"When it was Doug, all I could think was that it was my fault." Ben winced. "She had a feeling it was me and she was right. Doug died thinking he was saving me from a fate I didn't deserve. I should've died there but I didn't. For Carley, I didn't think she'd shoot her like that. If anything, I thought a cat fight was gonna break out."

 **Carver! Troy! You're both going to court for your unjustified fictional crimes! Those who were also involved or assisted in that are going too!**

 **"But!" Troy protested but shut up when I aimed a magnum pistol at his crotch.**

 **If pleaded guilty, you're both facing castration, fingers mutilation, ban from any form of porn and going into the human centipede position, restraining order from Clementine and Sarah AND possibly receive the Mr. Trusk surgery as well until this story is finished!**

 ***Slams the book down loudly, startling nearby people.***

 **"Bitch! My ears!" Lee exclaimed as he glared at me while rubbing his ears but I ignored him and continued on.**

 **If pleaded innocent, you're still facing the castration AND the restraining order consequences!**

 **"But it's fictional! It didn't happened and I'd never molest any kids or let alone Clementine!" Carver snapped but got a heavy desk thrown at him by me as Lee whistled impressed.**

 **Oh yeah, you can be paid for your crimes if it's fictional as well. I've seen a lot of stories where you rape Clem or Sarah and you're gonna pay a lot. I also certainly hope Mr. Papa Bear in prison gives you both his "special treatment" in the showers too!**

 **Jigsaw rolls in casually before saying, "Or I can deal with you and place you two in my new trap-" I push him out of the room and glared at Troy and Carver.**

 **If you get out of the court as free men, I'll let Jigsaw brutally deal with you two if that happens.**

"You can't be serious!" said Carver. "He can't do this, can he?"

"Yep." Luke nodded. "My ass got sent to court over some BS that happened in a story."

"This is unconstitutional!" declared Troy. "I want a lawyer!"

"Too late! Court is now in session!" said Sakura walking in. She was carrying a Judge podium. She sat it at the entrance of the scumbag interviewing room. She then directed a few people to move a couch to the right to pose as the jury. Everyone else was to sit on the couches to the left to act as an audience. Judge Alex walked in and slammed down the case file.

"Alright! Everyone shut the fuck up and let's get this crud started!" Alex banged his gravel on the podium. "It seems we have another abuse case. Explain yourselves you sick fucks!"

"THEY'RE STORIES!" yelled Carver. "I would never touch a child! I like grown ass women preferably thick chocolate women."

"Never say that again at your age, sir." the judge wrinkled his nose. "Okay so explain why all of these stories about you fucking Clementine, Sarah, and many other young girls? Where on earth could they have stemmed from?"

"I don't fucking know! I guess to make me look worse than what I am!"

"So these stories are slander?"

"Yes!" he nodded.

"The only way we can prove that is if we bring in witnesses." Alex looked at the audience and jury. "Do any of you want to vouch for this man?"

"How about our so called victims?" asked Troy.

"Clementine come up here." Alex gestured for the young woman to come forward. Once she stood in front of him, she swore to tell the truth and whatnot before being asked the big questions of the situation. "Clementine, did either of these men abuse you, sexual or otherwise?"

"Yeah!" The audience gasped and began loudly talking about her answer. They only shut up once the judge banged down the gravel.

"Explain."

"He has man handled and slapped the shit outta me! He also hit me with the butt of his gun when I tried saving Kenny!" Clementine pointed at Troy. She then pointed at Carver. "And this mother fucker slapped me after I stared at his radio! I didn't do shit to him!"

"Oh really!" he scowled at the two men who gulped nervously.

"But...!" began Troy.

"Anymore witnesses? Please come forward." Sarita, Sarah, Luke, Bonnie, and Rebecca all came forward and confirmed what happened to the two girls. Both Troy and Carver then knew they were screwed. As the jury talked among themselves, Carver and Troy couldn't help but to pray and hope the jury would be on their side while knowing damn well that chance was super low.

"The jury has come to a decision your honor!" said Mira standing up. "We find that these two bozos are guilty for child abuse and kidnapping."

"So does that mean we're getting a different..."

"Nope! You're still getting that shit." said Alex. "Court session over."

"NOOOOOO!" hollered Carver. "This is total bullshit! You can't do this to me, dammit!"

"I just did. Take 'em away, Sakura."

"My pleasure." she cracked her knuckles. Troy and Carver gulped as the pink haired woman approached them with an evil look in her eye. They knew they were fucked and probably literally too.

 **I heard we had a pesty-Nate problem! :D**

 **So I came along to get rid of him for you, should I use this grenade launcher to insert in his 'so-big-boy-unwashed-pants-that-is-actually-a-thong-for-his-weird-unnamed-fetish'? Or just simply take him and torture until the day he dies?**

 **"Cunt, please. Like you'll actually-" Nate immediately sobered up and stared wide-eyed at the hole near his feet caused by the shotgun.**

 **Call. Me. That. AGAIN.**

He made a zipping motion across his mouth while Katjaa and Russell sneered at him.

"This is excellent enough." Katjaa laughed in his face. Nate didn't bother responding or looking at her.

 **"Been stealing sandwiches again lately?" I intensely staring at him while polishing the Reverse Bear Trap at Javier who backed away from me with a fearful look.**

"Not since the last time." he rubbed his sore tongue.

 **Lily i dont get why people spare you. i didnt hesitate in telling aj to kill you**

"I don't know why either." she shrugged. "It works to my advantage."

 **When I saw how high of a percentage "Let Lilly Live" had, I was pissed off. Like WTF? What happened to all of the "Fuck Lilly for killing Carley/Doug" people who swore revenge? My guess is that people didn't want AJ to kill someone else. Man fuck that. Lilly got what was coming to her for the shit she did in season 4. People were WAY too forgiving with this bitch.**

 **To Everyone) Do you all even know what the Whisperers are? I'll give you a brief description and hopefully James will tell you the rest: They are psychotic murderers, barbaric, deceptive, and rapists. Not one ounce of humanity left in them, ain't that right, James?**

"None at all," James nodded in agreement.  
"Sounds like someone I know." Larry looked directly at Lee.

"Bite me, Larry!" Lee glared at the older man. "You're just saying that because you hate me! Guess what? The feeling is mutual, you bastard! The only thing you aren't is a rapist and you're not really deceptive about how you feel."

"That's how I felt about Jane," said Kenny. "Well except the rapist part. Luke was too eager to let anybody touch him."

"Fuck you, Kenny." snapped Luke. "Anyways, those people sound terrible. Then again, people got like that without anything keeping them in check. That's terrible you had to go through that, man."

"I guess it's a good thing we didn't run into them." said Clementine.

"We could've taken 'em." said AJ confidently.

"I really don't think so." said James. "You should learn to not to pick fights, especially when you're outnumbered."

"Go whine about it to those walkers you fuck at night, you creep."

"You tell 'em AJ!" Clementine laughed.

"That rumor is a lie and you know it!"

"No it isn't. That's why you have that mask!" said AJ. "So you can get close enough to get it in...whatever that means."

"Do you really...?" began Javier looking uncomfortable as he rubbed his neck.

"NO." Jame sighed. "I bet it was Clementine who started that damn rumor."

"Damn right, zombie boy!" she sneered. "What of it?"

"I hope karma finds you soon, dickhead."

"Sounds like a compliment coming from you, James." she laughed.

"Shut up." he replied with gritted teeth.

* * *

 **Based off the school thingy someone brought up**

It was the first day of class of and Lee was running late to his classroom. He couldn't find his suit nor his dress shoes. He could have swore that he had set them beside his apartment door. Maybe Mira hid them to get back at what he had said about her dad when he was angry at her once. She DID say she was going to get back at him but he wouldn't know when or how. If this was her revenge, it was either a very poor one or leading to something bigger. One never did know with the vengeful woman.

"Ah well. I'll just text Clementine and tell her I'll be late." he sighed as he pulled out his cell phone.

Clementine was at her home putting on a red halter top, jeans, and dark red sneakers. She was excited to head to high school for the first time. Okay so it wasn't highschool but just school in general since people of various ages were attending. She was going to make the highest grade in the class and then proceed to rub it into everyone's faces. Putting on her hat, she ran to the front door and grabbed her coat.

"Where are you going, Clementine?" asked Diana poking her head into the living room. "Did you forget breakfast?"

"Oh right!" she hit her forehead laughing. "I was so excited for school it somehow slipped my mind! What's for breakfast? I hope it's waffles!"

"Nope, better. Chocolate pancakes!" she grinned.

"WOOOO!" she ran into the kitchen to get a helping her mother's home-cooking. While she could afford any famous chef she wanted, none could measure up to her mom's food. She piled as much as she could onto her plate, put a ton of syrup on it, and stuffed her face.

"Slow down, Clementine!" her mother shook her head. "You're going to start choking!"

"Can't...help...myself!" she said in-between bites before following it up with orange juice. "Soooo goood!"

"Glad you enjoy them." chuckled her mother. "Now, please leave your father some. He hasn't gotten any yet."

She just waved her hand and continued eating until she was full. She patted her belly and groaned. Damn it why did she not acknowledge her limit or listen to her mother. She could barely move and sure didn't feel like it either. Suddenly the doorbell rang much to her annoyance. Her mother had gone off shopping while her father was fast asleep. Considering the man was a deep sleeper and had also stayed up late repairing the motor for the fence surrounding the area, there was no way he was going to get the door.

"I'm coming!" she yelled before groaning again. She peeked through the door's peekhole and saw that it was Duck. Her stomach ache was quickly forgotten as she made sure her hair was okay before opening the door. "Hi Duck!"

He smiled at his childhood friend. "Hi, Clementine! You ready for school?"

"Hell yeah I am!" she grinned at him. "Lemme go get my bookbag."

She ran upstairs, grabbed her Barbie backpack, and headed downstairs. She showed it off to him. "I got Barbie. Super dope, right?"

"Clementine please." he turned and showed that he had a Robin backpack. "Robin is soooo much cooler than Barbie!"

"Bullshit!" she smirked. She suddenly winced. "S-shit!"

"What's wrong?"

"My damn stomach. I ate too much." she whimpered as she rubbed her stomach. "M-m-maybe I should lay down for a minute. Ooooh…" As much as she wanted to head to school, her stomach hurt too much to walk there. "I can't walk."

"If you want, you can sit in the car." he gesture to his Bugatti Veyron. Clementine ran over to it as soon as she saw it.

"HOLY SHIT THIS IS YOURS!?" she examined the car. "How'd you get this baby?"

"Your stomach ache sure left fast." he laughed. She was like a child catching a glimpse at a brand new toy she wanted. She wanted to take it for a drive but this was Duck's sweet ride after all. "My dad gave it to me for an early birthday gift."

"Whoa! Do you think I could…?"

"If you're up to it!" he gave her the keys. She squealed and hopped into the car. Once Duck got in, Clementine pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street.

"WOOOOHOOOHOOO!" she shouted as they flew down the road together, with Duck encouraging her to go faster. Sure they nearly crashed into various objects and even people, but the high of traveling fast made them not damn not one single damn.

"I've gotta get one these things!" she said as she parked into the school's parking lot. "Thanks for letting me drive, Duck. I've never drove that fast before. Kenny and my parents would always make me obey the speed limit."

"Yeah no problem. Hey I'll race you to class!" he nudged her.

"You're on, Duck!" she hopped out of the car and raced inside of the old elementary building. Duck managed to beat the younger teenager to the classroom, which was still empty. He laughed as Clementine came behind him shortly afterwards panting.

"You...you cheated!" she panted as she tried catching her breath. "You have longer legs than I do!"

"Sore loser!" he smirked at her. "There's nobody here! Let's get seats next to each other so we can talk when Lee isn't looking."

"Okay!" the two of them waltzed inside, eager to be the first ones to pick their seats. Since the building was an old Elementary school, the room still had it's childish decorations placed on the walls, such as the alphabet above the marker board and the names of shapes and animals on the walls. There was also a "Storytime" area as well as a "Naptime" area both with bookshelves though only the naptime area came with a little cd player. The two sat in the back, that way there was less of a chance of them getting caught talking or passing notes to each other. Duck picked a window seat while Clem chose the seat right beside him. Right away, the pair plotted on the pranks they were going to pull on the other students and Lee.

The next person to come into the class was AJ with Rebecca right behind him. His eyes lit up as he spotted his guardian and ran over, ignoring his mother's saddened look. After all, she had been hoping AJ would have at least acted like a regular child and cry that he didn't want to leave her. Clem smiled as she hugged the little boy. "Hey AJ! You ready for school?"

He nodded. "Yeah especially since you're here too! Is school hard?"

"As long as you pay attention it's super easy," AJ was a smart kid for his age. He'd do great in school as long as he didn't smack people that made the mistake of sneaking up behind him. "Why don't you find a seat?"

"Okay!" Clem was secretly happy that AJ was going to find a desk that wasn't next to her. Normally she wouldn't have minded at all, but she really wanted to sit next to Duck at the moment. AJ sat down right in the front of the class. Shortly afterward, Tenn and Violet came in and AJ ran up to the older boy.

Clementine waved at the blonde teenager and called out to her. "Violet, come sit in front of me!"

Violet smiled at the taller girl and took her place in front of her. "Hey Clem. It's been forever since we've all been to school, hasn't it?"

"Yeah 8 years." said Clementine while Duck left them to talk while he looked outside, wanting to see if he could spot anybody else. "I used to love school when I was little. It feels great to be back even if it might be for a little while. Plus we get Lee and he's super cool. You're going to love him!"

"I hope so." said Violet. "School's only fun if the teacher is. I mean you do have your friends but fun teachers make learning a lot more interesting."

"My 1st grade teacher was fun. I wonder what happened to her…"

"Who's ready to party bitches!?" Asher burst into the classroom, kicking the door down in the process. Everyone jumped and stared at the man. "Ready for the most fun you've ever had in your pathetic lives?!"

"Stop embarrassing us, Asher!" Ethan grabbed his brother's arm. "This is a classroom not whatever you think this is!"

"Very uncalled for." Talia frowned as she pushed past her older brother.

"Yo Talia and Ethan! What's up!" greeted Clem to her friends. "What are you guys doing here? Don't you guys live in another universe?"

"Yes but we thought it would be interesting to learn about other cultures. Besides, not too many people signed up to be here so they asked us to fill up some space." she shrugged. "Mira was going to attend but she's out stalking what's his face."

"Javier." said Ethan as he joined Duck at the window. "She's gotten weirder since we came here. Then again she may have already been that way considering where she was living."

Clementine smirked at the thought of Mira stalking Javier. Knowing the man, he probably didn't even mind the attention as long as Mira didn't pull anything crazy or dangerous. After a while, the rest of the students came into the room which included Doug, Lois, Rodrik, Kimberly, Russell, Becca, and Gabe. When Gabe came in, he searched around for his friend and managed to spot the teenager laughing with a few other teens their age.

"Clem!" he waved at her. He was disappointed to see that he wasn't going to be able to sit anywhere near her but at least they were in the same class.

"Gabe!" she smiled back and came over to him. "Where's Javi?"

"Running from your buddy Mira." For someone from a noble family, she sure was a weird girl. Ever since she saw the man without his shirt on, she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. To be fair, a lot of the other females couldn't either but then again they weren't stalking him. To his knowledge at least. If he didn't know any better, he wouldn't thought Mira was the oldest sister of Talia, the more lady-like of the Forrester girls. "She's nuts."

"Everybody your professor has...who the hell kicked down this door?!" Lee shouted. He had just stepped foot into his classroom only to find his door on the floor. He was only 5 minutes late and his students or a student already caused some damage. "Whatever. Everyone sit the fuck down and listen up. Some of you may already know me but just in case, I'm Mr. Everett and I'm your history teacher."

"You stink!" shouted Duck from the back of the classroom.

"Not as bad as your dad's breath. Oh wait you don't even know who your real dad is do you?" fired back Lee.

"Ooooooh!" said a few students while a lot of them laughed.

"You gonna sit there and take that, Duck?" asked Asher.

"Just like you took Carlos's dick up your ass?" Duck snapped.

"GOT 'EM!" shouted Clementine which earned more laughter.

"I'm not gay!"

"But you are a damn fool for knocking down the door!" Gabe shouted. "You aren't cool, old man!"

"Rat!"

"Before we get started, I'd like for everyone to introduce themselves to the class. We'll start in Alphabetical order. Alvin Junior."

"My name is Alvin Luke Junior." AJ stood up at his desk. "I like drawing and I hate being snuck up on. If you mess with Clem, you're messing with me. I'm also 5 years old. Uh that's all I can think of."

"Asher Forrester."

"My name is Asher Forrester. Lord of House Forrester and voted sexist TTG character of all time." he smirked at his classmates. This caused a few people to either roll their eyes or sneer at the man's ego.

"Bullshit!" coughed Ethan. Asher glared at his younger brother but continued anyways.

"I'm one of the toughest fuckers you'll ever meet. I've killed people bigger than all of you combined without flinching. Remember that if you bastards ever harm a hair on any of my brothers or my sisters."

"No need to threaten anybody, asshole." Lee rolled his eyes. "Next Becca."

"I'm Becca." she sat back down in her chair.

"Oooh-kay then. Clementine."

"I'm Clementine, which you all know. I don't take shit from nobody and I won't hesitate to put my foot up anybody's ass." she announced. "I raised a kid that isn't even mine and I'm single so there's that encase anybody gives a damn. That's all I have to say since again you all know me pretty well."

"Ethan Forrester."

" _I'm_ actually the Lord of House Forrester. Asher only took over because Rodrik gave himself up to save his ass and I died because of Ramsey "the bastard" Snow. I enjoy writing and playing music so as you people say hit me up if you need music at a party."

"Gabriel Garcia."

"Hey I'm Gabe." he sat down.

"Ken Jr."

"Sup." he waved. "You can just call me Duck. I enjoy sports, fast cars, comic books, and beautiful women."

"Nerd. Kimberly."

"Hey daddy!"

"Hey Kimberly. You know what? We've wasted enough time. Let's just get into the lesson, alright?" said Lee glancing at his watch. If he hurried up, he could get back to watching his favorite television show "Survival of the Hotheads" where a bunch of violent tempered people tried surviving in the wilderness with one another. While it was annoying how nearly no one wanted to work together, it could quite humorous as well.

"Fine with me." said Violet.

"We're going to be going all the way back to the Ottoman empire." began Lee. "The Ottoman Empire was one of the largest and longest lasting empires in the entire world. It first started in 1299…"

While Lee taught, Clementine tried paying attention but found herself getting more bored by the minute. Eventually she began doodling in her notebook while Duck was texting on his cellphone. As she was drawing a picture of Luke with a mustache, a paper airplane landed on her desk. She looked around until her eyes landed onto Lois who was sitting in the row next to her and was gesturing for her to open the plane. She peaked up at Lee for a moment before reading it.

 _Wanna skip class?_

Clementine nodded at him before pocketing the note and starting on a new one. _Yes. What's the plan?_

He quickly wrote back. _Ask to go to the bathroom and I'll follow suit a few minutes later. Then the real fun can start._

She wasn't sure what kind of fun Lois had in mind, but she was willing to do almost anything to escape to Lee's lecture. She raised her hand. "L...I mean Mr. Everett I really need to go!"

"Sure. I think the toilet down the hall works unless Mark's worthless ass fucked up again." said Lee before continuing to write on the board. Clementine nodded and ran off but went into an unused classroom instead. Hopefully Lee would allow Lois to come to the "bathroom" even though he just sent her out. After a few minutes, she spotted Lois finally coming out of the classroom.

"So what fun things do you have in mind, Lois?" she eagerly asked.

"I've always wanted to tp someone's house. You ever done that before?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. Duck and I used to do it a lot back in the day. I'll get some from in the girls bathroom and you can get some from the boys."

Clementine gathered as much as she could in her arms while Lois did the same. She felt bad about skipping Lee's lecture, but tping houses with a friend was a lot more fun. The thought had crossed her mind to invite Duck too but Lee would be more likely to notice Besides, who cares about some ancient empire? It wasn't like it was important to her daily life.

"Whose house are we gonna target?" she grinned as they headed down the hallway together. She could think of a few people on her list at the moment.

"I'm going to let you decide who since you know most of these people."

"Larry!" said Clementine. "I think he goes to Waffle House at this time of day so we should have plenty of time. But wait, the neighborhood is a few miles from where he lives. We'll never make it before he comes back."

"Oh please." Lois sat down the rolls of tissue and looked around the parking lot. There were a few cars around but which one looked like it had a bunch of gas in it? A few were left over from when the adults hadn't bothered moving some of the cars that were there before the apocalypse happened. The rest were cars driven by students. He was going to get the more expensive car but felt it was much too risky. He chose a jeep that was way in the back of the parking lot and opened the door.

"What are you doing? asked the teenger as she watched him take out some wires.

"We're going to take a little drive. Ever hotwired a car before?"

She shook her head. Whenever she found a car, sometimes the keys were still in the car for whatever reason. More than likely the past owners either died long ago or abandoned the car for whatever reason. Whatever the reason, Clementine happily used the car to get around easier. Plus it was a great place to sleep whenever they couldn't find shelter. He offered to teach her which she accepted without hesitation. It'd be useful for pranking people in the future.

After getting the car started, the teenagers jumped inside and headed towards their destination. Clementine was nervous as she didn't want to get caught by Lilly or her father. Larry was always nice to her but that didn't mean he wouldn't lecture her on pranking him. Lilly had developed a nastier attitude over the years but was still somewhat nice.* She still didn't tolerate any kind of nonsense, especially not towards her dad. Her instincts had warned her not to fuck around with Lilly or her dad. Even if they hadn't, Larry beating Kenny over a card game was enough proof for the teenager.

As they drove down the street, she saw a few people walking down the street likely out doing either patrols to see if those pesky walkers had come in or going to work or a friend's home. Hopefully nobody would be around to catch them in the act.

Meanwhile at the school, Lee was passing out papers for everyone to take notes on the video they were about to watch on the subject he was teaching. When he got to Duck and Clementine's desk, he noticed that his friend was no longer there. He frowned. "Duck, where'd Clementine go?"

"Hm I dunno. Didn't you tell her she could go to the bathroom?"

"Oh right." he trailed off once he noticed a piece of paper sticking out of his desk. Once he read it, he let out a loud girlish scream. Everyone stared at him, wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. "W-who?! WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS SHIT TO MY SWEET PEA?"

Nobody had ever heard Lee get that angry before. He was steaming like a tea kettle with his nostrils flaring with anger. He couldn't believe Clementine went to go have sex instead of staying here! He didn't know who this boy was, but he better be built like the hulk or something similar to that because he was going to end up getting his butt kicked. How dare he have the balls to touch his Clementine. Okay so Clementine wasn't his child and if anything he should run to her folks, but he was too close to the girl to think about that. He was going to fuck someone up.

He ran out of the classroom towards the girls bathroom, not bothering to alert anybody to what he was so angry and worried about. Without hesitation, he kicked the door open and made sure to check the stalls. There was no one there. The same applied to the boys bathroom. He searched all of the classrooms on the hall, but they were all empty. The school was much too large to search on his own. By the time he did, Clementine and the guy with him would be completely finished doing-he shuddered at the implications. He continued to run back to the classroom.

Inside the students were all whispering about the situation when Lee came in with a crazed look in his eyes. "I want everyone off their asses now! Clem is in danger and I want a search party, now! So search the school from top to bottom before it's too late!"

"Wait, Clem is in trouble?!" exclaimed AJ, looking worried for his guardian's safety. "We have to find her!"

"Are you sure?" asked Talia. "Maybe she's still in the bathroom!"

"I checked! We have to find her! Search, dammit!"

Everyone helped to search the school for the teenager all over the school. However there was no trace of her to be found. It was like she disappeared. The search eventually moved outside with everyone calling out her name. Their yelling drew the attention of a few neighbors who came to see what all of the fuss was about.

"Somethin' wrong over here?" Bonnie asked AJ who was poking around the bushes near the fence of the old soccer field. Lilly, Carlos, and Alvin Sr. were also with her."I heard yellin'."

"Clementine's missing!" said AJ. "Mr. Everett said she was in danger."

"Danger?" said Lilly. "That girl's always looking for danger."

"Maybe she just skipped school," shrugged Carlos. "Teenagers do it all the time. It's more likely she got bored with the lectures and ran off than getting dragged off."

"M-maybe," AJ appeared to be unsure. "Can you guys help anyways?"

"I don't see why not," Bonnie hopped over the fence. "The more hands the better. Carlos, why don't you call around and see if Clementine was seen anywhere?"

"I guess," he shrugged. "Wasn't doing anything anyways."

"I've got better things to do," Lilly said as soon as Bonnie looked at her.

"Nobody wanted your help anyways!" AJ stuck out his tongue at her. Lilly ignored him and walked back home.

Clementine laughed as she threw one last roll of toilet paper into the tree in front of Larry's home. She and Lois had spent the past hour tping Larry's home, giggling as they did so. Clementine took delight in getting back at Larry for being a total dick to everyone mainly Lee. After the roll had been used up, Lois glanced at his watch and swore.

"Something wrong?"

"We've been gone for 2 hours."

"Damn. I wonder if Lee's noticed we're missing yet." if her parents found out she skipped school, she was screwed!

"We'd better hurry up," Lois hopped back into the jeep with Clementine following his lead. "Or..."

"Or...?"

"Or we could do some other shit. We're already in trouble...okay well you are but still. May as well have some fun."

Clementine tapped her chin for a moment or two before nodding. "Sure. Why the hell not? I'm already going to get grounded. Let's hit the beach and party it up on a yacht!"

At 2 a.m., Clementine finally arrived home. She was afraid to go inside since she knew she'd be met with the site of angry parents. However if she went anywhere else, people might think she was up to no good so home it was. She quickly looked around the dark entryway of her home, trying to hear or see her parents. She couldn't hear nor see anybody inside. After slowly closing the door, she tiptoed up the stairs on her bare feet. Every once in a while, she would stop to listen for a voice or noise that indicated someone was up. After hearing nothing, she would continue up until she got to her bedroom. Once inside, Clementine stripped from her clothes revealing her pink one piece swimsuit she had bought at the beach. Clementine had a swimsuit at home; but since her parents were probably at home, she had left it there and bought a new one instead. She smelled of sea water but she couldn't get the scent off of her since a shower would awaken her folks. After putting on her PJs, she slipped into her bed and feel asleep.

The next morning, she woke up to the smell of bacon frying and blueberry pancakes. Clementine damn near jumped out of bed and ran downstairs when she remembered she might be in trouble. For all she knew, Lee got worried and told them. Or maybe he didn't care. She wasn't sure. Instead of taking a chance, she decided to climb out of the window and sneak off until she was ready to deal with her parents. She quickly put on a plain t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and flipflops before putting her hair in her signature pigtails. Ince that was done, she tried opening up her window only to lift it up to about an inch until it stopped going up.

"What the fuck?" she muttered as she tried again. It still wouldn't budge. "Come on you son of a bitch! Open!"

"Clementine!" Clementine damn near fainted when she heard her mother's voice. "You're okay!"

Clementine felt her mother's arms around her, hugging her tightly to her chest. "I was so worried about my baby! Are you okay? You aren't hurt ar-why do you smell like the sea?"

"Well I uh um..." Clementine bit her lip. "I-I'm wearing a new perfume. You've probably never heard of it. It's called Ole Salty! Yeah that's it?"

"Oh really?" Diana placed her hands on her hips as she gave her daughter a suspicious look. "Then I suppose you can show me the bottle."

"Oh darn," she snapped her fingers. "I really would have, mom, but I loaned it to Sarah."

She raised a brow at her daughter as her frowned grew. "That's funny. I haven't seen Sarah this morning."

"I meant yesterday. A-at school!" she quickly lied.

"That must be a REALLY strong perfume since I still smell it."

"Yep." she nodded. "It's meant to last."

Her eyes glanced around the room until they landed on a pile of still wet clothes on the floor. She walked on over while saying, "My, my, my! What do we have here? Wet clothes?" she picked them up and sniffed it. "Oh wow! Not only are these wet but they also smell like the ocean too! Did you use it on these too?"

"Y-yeah! It uh I-I-it rained yesterday so..."

"Rain? I didn't feel any rain yesterday." she said as she began going through Clementine's clothing. "If it did rain, what's up with the seaweed?"

"I was eating seaweed!" she lied once more. Her mother wasn't believing the lie at all, but she still going to ask to see how much her daughter would continuing lying.

"I guess it just fell out of your pocket," she rolled her eyes as she then went through her daughter's pockets. Eventually she pulled out a wet receipt. Luckily the words were still on the paper and it was still intact. "When did break start?"

"Huh?" When her mother repeated herself, Clementine tried to remember what time Lee had mentioned a break. When she couldn't, she chose a lunch hour. "12:30."

"But this receipt for a swimsuit says 10:54 am. Lee just let you out early, hm?"

"Y-yeah! You know I'm like his daughter!" she laughed nervously as she rubbed her arm.

"Funny thing is that Lee was causing quite a ruckus yesterday, dear," Clementine instantly went pale when she heard this. "He had the entire class screaming your name for hours and hours while Bonnie and Carlos called EVERYBODY in the compound. Now why would any of these people do that if Lee knew where you were?"

"Uh well Lee's getting old! He might be getting Alzheimer's or somethin'."

"Explain this then?" She pulled out her cellphone with a picture of the note written to her. "You don't have a lie for me now, do you?"

She turned her head. "I don't recognize that note. It has to be a mi-"

"Clementine, stop lying! You're grounded for two months!"

"TWO MONTHS?!"

"Yes two months!" she threw down her daughter's pants. "You lied to me, skipped school, and had everyone worried sick about you! So yes, you're grounded for 2 months! You can go to review sessions but nothing else! No tv, no going out, no cellphone, no leaving your room unless for dinnertime, and no more desserts! Now take a bath and get that smell off of you!"

With that being said, Diana stormed out of the room and slapped the door closed. Clementine threw herself into her bed and kicked and screamed like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

* * *

 **Snaps fingers and the scumbags are transported to an island**

 **Congragulations contestants, youve all been chosen to to survive this island, and the horrors on it.**

 **The horrors include: Micheal Myers, Jason Vorhees, Freedy Kruger, Hannibal Lecter, Leatherface, Jigsaw, and 2,000 walkers!**

 **You have 48 hours to survive**

 **Clementine: Am i the only one experiencing deja vu?**

"I'm getting it too, sweet pea." Lee groaned. "I say we all stick together and..."

"EVERYONE FOR HIMSELF!" shouted Duck. Everyone else ran off screaming in different directions.

"Of course." he groaned once more and turned to his right side. "I guess it's just me and you, Clementine."

"Always!" she grinned. She paused for a second. "Wait a minute. Where's AJ?!"

"Okay now I'm REALLY getting deja vu." he rubbed his forehead. "Let's go find him and try not to get killed."

The scene cuts to Bonnie running with Luke and Jane down a pathway in the woods. Luke was in the front while Jane was second and she was last. Her lungs were burning like a mofo due to running for so long without rest. How a pregnant Jane was able to do it while she wasn't, she didn't know. She would've thought Jane's energy would've been sapped from her body a while back. Yet here she was running behind Luke. Speaking of her and Luke in the same sentence, she couldn't help but to wonder if there were any feelings between the two. With the situation they were thrust into, it wouldn't shock her if their situation turned into a moment from a porno or a romance scene from a horror movie. One thing was for sure, she wasn't going to get in the middle of it or be the third wheel.

"Can we please slow down?" huffed Bonnie. "My legs are killing me!"

"I don't know about you but I'm not trying to die!" Jane called back at the young woman.

"No she's right." he came to a stop. "We need to save our energy for when we really need it."

"Fine." Jane sat down on a ground and leaned against a tree. "If I hear a chainsaw, screaming, or even a snapping of a twig, I'm leaving you two. I really don't care if you follow behind me or not."

"How could you say that after everything we've been through?" It looks like much hadn't changed since they first met. Jane had said a similar thing years ago back at Carver's place before they went through the walkers. It was amazing she still had that mindset now.

"Because if you don't run when you think you're in danger, it doesn't mean I shouldn't." she crossed her arms. "Besides, I'm pregnant. I don't have time for danger right now."

"Hard to believe you're still pregnant." said Luke.

"What are you...oh right." Jane realized what he was referring to. "Well things are different now. I can actually have this baby and raise it. It's only 48 hours. We won't be here that long. You're not upset are you?"

"Maybe." After finding out what Jane did, he was heartbroken to find out that his unborn child didn't make it. Now that Jane was alive again and carrying Kenny's kid, he couldn't help but to be jealous.

"It wasn't like I wanted what happened to happen." she told him. "I can't change the past so let's drop it, okay?"

"I'm not sure if I can." said Luke. "Not while knowing I was going to be a daddy."

Jane didn't say a word as she fiddled with her wedding ring. Bonnie could feel the awkward and uncomfortable aura in the air which in turn had her feeling a bit of both. Of course this conversation had to come up sooner or later but why right now? She didn't need these two in a depressed state while there were walkers and serial killers around.

"So uh do you guys think we should build a fire?" asked Bonnie. "It's pretty cold out here, ya know."

"Fire attracts attention that we don't need." said Jane. "You'll just have to stay cold for a moment longer."

"Right." she sighed. "What about weapons? I don't have one on me."

"Tree branches work fine." pointed out Jane. "Otherwise, hiding also works wonders." she looked down at her watch. "We better get going. There's too much brush growing here. Walkers can use that to their advantage."

"Right!" Bonnie jumped up. "Do you need..."

"No." Jane got up on her own and walked off. Bonnie looked over at Luke who was still sitting there. Bonnie could tell he was still thinking about the baby given his saddened expression. She patted his shoulder.

"Luke, we need to leave." she told him. "We don't wanna leave you behind."

"Oh right." he sighed and slowly stood up. As she watched him walk off after Jane, she wondered if his current state would effect anything dealing with their enemies.

Meanwhile Katjaa was hurrying along in the forest. Unfortunately Nate chose to run after her instead of it being her own kid. She didn't like to believe she was stuck with this man but it seemed like it for the moment. She would much rather be completely alone if she had to. Maybe she could just ditch him up ahead. It was a shame Nate, a younger human being, could keep up with her.

"Do you think we're being followed?" she called back to Nate.

"I don't think so." he looked over his shoulder. He couldn't hear or see any walkers and he couldn't see anyone chasing them. "You okay up there."

"Bite me."

"Come on now. Don't tell me you were still pissed about..."

"I am." she cut him off. "I'm not going to sugarcoat this. I don't like you Nate. You're a drunk..."

"Lemme just stop you there sweetheart." he said chuckling. "I'm the drunk? Says the bitch who married one!"

"He was depressed!" she snapped at him. "He can't help that he saw his wife kill herself."

"Damn!" he whistled, sounding impressed for some reason. "I didn't think you had it in ya."

Katjaa didn't say anything as she began walking instead of running. From what she could tell, nobody was following them so it was safe to move a little slower. At least, that's what she chose to believe. She was tired but didn't want to stop just in case. Nate tried getting Katjaa to tell him about why she committed suicide but she completely ignored him. It wasn't just because she didn't want to talk about it. It was because she didn't want to talk to HIM about it. Nate didn't seem like the kind of man that you could pour your deepest and darkest secrets and private thoughts to. For one thing, he was nothing but an asshole to her since the day she met him. Secondly, he was a complete stranger. She wasn't about to tell him anything that he didn't already know.

"Fine don't talk." he huffed. "Sorry for trying to make conversation."

"How is that...never mind." she sighed. The less she spoke to him, the faster he'd get the hint. After a few minutes of silence, Nate tried talking again.

"So how do you think your kid's doing, you know considering he didn't try running after you." That stung but she wasn't about to let him know. She was sure Duck was acting out of fear and didn't really mean to leave her. Then again maybe he did considering she killed herself in front of him. "He's pretty fuckin' dumb. He's probably dead somewhere."

"Don't you dare say that about my son!" she smacked him across the face. Nate quickly returned the slap, sending Katjaa onto the ground.

"Don't think you can hit me just because you're a woman!" the man snarled at the woman as he held the side of his face. The vet didn't say anything as she held her cheek trying to gain her senses back after what just happened. "I didn't wait to hit your sexy ass but you swung first."

When she didn't answer him, he felt a bit guilty for hitting her. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, a hand was slapped over his mouth and a large blade was driven through his abdomen from the back. It wasn't until Nate's corpse fell behind her was when Katjaa noticed. She screamed despite the aching in her cheek. She quickly jumped to her feet and ran off. She didn't even stop to look at who killed Nate since it could've been anybody. All she knew was that she needed to get away.

* * *

Got lazy at the end. Do as you wish with the last thingy.

*The school bit was written a LONG time ago. The bit about Lilly? Yeah that's not true since she wasn't nice at all when she appeared in season 4. Season 1 Lilly had her moments were she was nice but season 4 Lilly is an evil bitch.


	7. Chapter 8

**I'm adding some questions and whatnot since over time people have sent in less and less stuff over the course of each interview story session. They've either grown bored of it or don't care for it any longer. Whatever happened, I'll try filling in the blanks to keep whomever still cares about the Scumbag Interviews entertained.* Also, I'm still going to reupload the deleted scumbag story. I had to take it out because I had to edit it because of how it was written. I had gotten VERY lazy after a few chapters and started writing everything in a script like way instead of proper dialogue.**

 **Also if anybody (who remembers or gives a damn) wants to make the whole "Jason Todd was Scumbag Lee the whole time" canon, let me know as I'm curious about that. If you don't remember or care, then I'll leave that plot twist alone. And no, I didn't create that. A guest did. Anyways, if the majority want this to be canon, let me know so we can have regular Lee and scumbag Lee/Jason Todd. The only reason I took it out of the story canon is because a people hated the twist. Yet when I announced it wasn't, people complained. So which is it? You want it or not? Since most of my readers are guests, I'm not doing a poll. Just mention if you want it or not. If not enough people vote or care, I'll add it in myself.**

 **Please add Waldorf and Statler From the Muppets to this story**

 _This is suppose to be just Telltale choice based game characters. Then again we've had characters from other franchises like Ellie from The Last of Us, the hyenas from Lion King and we briefly had Max and Chloe from Life is Strange. So it wouldn't be fair if I said no and I let those other characters in. Okay then. The answer is yes. You didn't have to ask me though. People just throw in random people (like Ellie) all the time. At the same time, thank you for asking as that's the first time that's happened. lol_

 _ **Here's to Clementine for living as long as she did! *holds up a cup of water***_

"Water really?" said Bonnie staring down at her cup. "Why not wine or champagne? Why water?"

 _Our budget got cut off because someone decided to rent the most expensive yacht in existence coupled by equally expensive seafood from all over the world flown first class._

"Aren't you rich?" Lois looked at Clementine who was rubbing the back of her head.

"I didn't want to spend my own money," she grumbled.

"How do you know it was her?" asked a suspicious Jane.

"She's the only one with expensive tastes that I know."

"Besides you," said Violet. "Weren't your parents stupid rich?"

"Well y-yeah but uh you see...next question!"

 _Anyways, so ya all get water and crackers whenever you're here. So a toast to Clem for outlasting you all!_

"We've been alive just as long as she has," pointed out Violet. "Why don't we get a toast?"

 _That's easy. It's because Clementine has been around since episode one and you all are relatively new._

"That's being biased," said Ruby.

 _Welcome to TWD fandom where we're all biased AF._

 **Nate, who's surprisingly sober for once, kept looking around his surroundings in extreme paranoia that was making Lee really annoyed as hell and decided to ask what the fuck was wrong with him.**

 **So he bitch-slapped him and asked, "The hell you doing boy? Expecting a date with a psycho or something?" Did this scumbag forgot about last chapter guest's threat to Nate or something?**

 _Possibly._

 **"Hey idiots, how was your punishments- What the hell?" The guest tilted their head at carver's and troy's petrified looks, only remembering Papa Bear's 'special treatment' they received constantly almost every day.**

 **"Don't mind them, they're probably just upset that they can't masturbate or look at porn anymore." Doug spoke as both men glared at him at the mention to one of their extreme punishments.**

"I feel sorry for them," Clementine then laughed. "Yeah right! Like I'd ever feel sorry for those bozos!"

 **Hey Alvin, I snitched on you to Jigsaw that you were a full-time pimp last year and he'll come for you after he's preparing a game for Doug. :)**

"Just great!" Alvin threw up his hands. "I guess I'd better not let him catch me."

 _Did you **want** him to at first?_

"You know what I meant," Alvin rolled his eyes.

 **Lee, clem, Gabe and Javier what do you think of Doug making you his bitches**

"Don't remind me," Lee groaned as he rubbed his jaw. "I didn't think Doug was that strong. I'm still feeling that shit."

"I hope I get a sneak peek at the misery he goes through," Clementine grumbled as she looked behind her back as they continued to travel into the woods. "Too bad we're on this stupid island with no clue where anyone is."

"I'll kill that bastard!" said Javier as he killed a walker with a rusty knife he found in the forest. "Nobody puts their hands on my family, ever."

"Didn't think he could move like that," said Gabe.

 **With Carver, Arvo, the stranger, the , larry and lily they were locking themselves in a random cabin. Arvo decided to look around before noticing a warm fire. Stepping towards it he heard some heavy breathing, and turned and stared into the eyes of Micheal Myers. Arvo yelled something in Russian before the knife was buried in his neck. Myers then threw the body out the window and silently watched the remaining people unnoticed**

Meanwhile Carver and Lilly were pushing a dresser in front of the door while Larry was keeping watch from the window. The Stranger, who we're going to call Thomas, was in the kitchen looking for weapons. So far only a couple of walkers were spotted, but they were minding their own business at the moment. As long as they didn't come beating at the door, they could stay out in the woods as long as they wanted to. After positioning the dresser, Lilly searched around for something to put in front of the windows. As her eyes searched through the barely lit cabin, she saw one of the windows shattered. From what she could tell, something large had been thrown in or out of the cabin judging by the size of the hole. She hadn't heard anything, so she assumed it was from before they came. Whatever the case, she wanted this hole covered up.

"There's a broken window in one of the back rooms," Lilly said gesturing behind her. "I need someone to help me move the dresser in there in front of it."

"I'll help you move it," volunteered Carver. "The old guy probably can't handle it."

"Hmph! I've got more strength in my left ball than you'll ever have," said Larry. "I'll help her out."

"No, you stay here, dad," Lilly held up a hand. "We'll move it. Save your strength for when we really need."

While they moved it, Thomas came into the living room. Larry glanced over at the younger male before turning his attention back to the window. "I didn't find much. Just a couple of match boxes, a rusty old knife, and an empty toolbox."

"Better than nothin'," shrugged Larry. "Go make yourself useful and light the fireplace. It's getting cold as hell in here."

"Isn't hell..."

"I know that!" snapped Larry. "It's a figure of speech, you idiot. Now light it."

Thomas glared at the man but did as he was told only because he was getting cold too. When being transported to the island, they didn't get a chance to grab anything. The only thing they had were the clothes on their back and whatever they had in their pockets. It was a damn shame they weren't warned ahead of time in order to prepare for a bunch of psychos chasing after all of them. While he worked on the fire place, Larry suddenly remembered that another person was with them. Where the hell was that little pipsqueak anyways? The last he saw of him was when Lilly assigned the young man to check the bedrooms for anything they could use. With Lilly and Carver in the back, they'd probably find him back there goofing off.

Meanwhile, Lilly and Carver were still pushing and pulling the large dresser in front of the window. It wouldn't completely block out the hole but it was better than nothing. As they did so, Carver spotted a tall, bulky figure walking past the doorway. "Aren't you suppose to be keeping watch? No telling when one of those manics will show up."

Lilly looked over too but she missed the figure. "Who're you talking to?"

"I saw your old man going by," said Carver. "He should really keep an eye on the outside."

"He probably just had to go," she said as she pushed the dresser once more.

"Probably," he shrugged.

Shortly after moving it, a loud crash could be heard coming from the living room. Both adults looked at each other before bolting to the area. They arrived just in time to see Jason holding up Thomas by his neck next to a large hole in that window as well. Thomas is trying to kick the tall figure while clawing at the man's arm. The two flew into action by attacking the man. Lilly kicked the man in the side which didn't affect him as he proceeded squeeze until his body fell limp.

"Where's my dad!" Lilly said once she realized her father wasn't in the room. Jason didn't answer her as he stepped her. As Lilly backed up, she spotted the larger hole in the window where Thomas's body was. It only took her a few seconds to realize that's what happened to him.

"You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" she vowed as she lunged at him. Instead of landing a hit, she was knocked to the ground by a punch to the gut. As a dirty boot was pressed against her head, she spotted Carver running away. "You fuckin-."

 **"AJ!" Lee and Clem called. "Clem, Lee I made a new friend!" they heard him yell. Stepping into the clearing they saw Leatherface patting his head**

"That's great AJ!" smiled Lee before whispering in Clementine's ear. "One less psycho to worry about."

Katjaa) Run Bitch Run

"I plan on it!" Katjaa remarked as she hurried along.

 **Wait is Doug still a scumbag?**

 _Potions don't just wear off here._

 **We cut to James**

 **So James how are you- OH MY GOD CLEM WAS RIGHT U FUCK WALKERs**

"I-I-I-it's not w-what it looks like!" he stammered as we cut to him with his pants up. "I-I was just massaging his shoulders! They're really tense."

 **Clem and Violet) how do you feel about u two being shipped together**

"Heh well I don't really mind," she blushed. "I'm glad be people think we look cute together."

"Violet's my friend! EW." she crinkled her nose. She then tapped her chin. "Then again, she does have a crush on me. I mean it's not like she did a good job at hiding it. If there was a chance I'd feel the same, her stupid girlfriend's alive."

 **Louis and Mitch wake up tied to chairs "Where the fuck are we?" Mich demands. He gets his answer as Hannibal Lecter.**

 **Both procedes to scream before Hannibal takes out a knife and cuts out Louis's tongue**

Mitch screams even louder as Hannibal comes closer to him as well.

 **We find the St Johns fitting right in with Hannibal Lecter**

 _Well that's trouble._

 **Louis you're the new nick**

 _That's harsh after what happened to him. Then again, that's not usual here._

 **By the way scumbags, JAson has all the skills from his game. AKA Teleportation, sense, Morphing and stalking and modes.**

 **Sense allows Jason to tell where a person is, Morphing allows him to cover ground faster, and stalking mode allows him to be quiet and sneak up on people, rage let's him brake down doors and walls easier**

 **"What kind of overpowered shit is that?!" exclaimed Clementine.**

Everyone but the dead and James) how do u feel that while you all are fighting for survival, James is banging a bunch of walkers

"WHAT?" exclaimed Lee. "We're out here worrying about the dead and a bunch of psychos-not you Leatherface- and that punk is out screwing walkers?!"

"Ew gross!" said Duck. "Why walkers?!"

"I-I was just joking!" Clementine said as she wiped her mouth after vomiting. "What the fuck! That's disgusting! At least covering ourselves with walker blood was useful! What kinda survival purpose is screwing walkers?"

"WOW. I thought Clementine was kidding," Violet's eyes got wide as Ruby's mouth dropped open. "H-he really...? Oh my god..."

"No wonder he didn't want Clementine to kill walkers!" said AJ. "He wanted to save them for later!"

"That's fuckin' nasty," said Luke. "And I thought covering ourselves in lurker guts was messed up."

"Is the world that messed up that the only people who'll let him touch them are walkers?" Jane burst out laughing. "Wow, that's sad!"

"It's not funny," said Bonnie. "That kid has issues."

"How dangerous and gross," said Katjaa.

 **Kenny) you worried about Jane and ur unborn child**

"Yeah!" said Kenny. "I have to find her and my kid!"

 **Planning to name your baby Jamie, Jane? Shit! Michael Myers is behind you! Don't let your baby become another Jamie Lloyd for him!**

"Oh shit!" Jane dodged a swing from an axe he had. As she tried to run, she tripped and hit the ground. Before he could plunge the axe into her head, Luke hit him over the head with a tree branch. Seeing her chance to get away, she took off running. Luke jumped back out of his reach and took off the opposite way of Jane.

 **Lee, Clem was with Louis when she ditched your class... so BEAT his ass! *Giggles maniacally before running away with Clem angrily throwing stuff at me but ends up missing due to me zigzagging crazily.***

"I'm going to kill that boy!" he shook his fist. "What'd he do to you?"

"Nothing! We just had a party."

"And didn't invite me? I see how it is! If I had a super cool party going on, I would've invited you!"

"Yeah but..."

"I'm outta here!" he stormed off.

 **Sarah and Clementine are sitting up in a balcony talking to each other**  
 **Sarah: "Ah You know Clem, I'm really going to enjoy next time".**  
 **Clementine: Wait Sarah? You plan to like the next chapter?"**  
 **Sarah: "No i plan to watch televison."**  
 **Sarah and Clem: "OH HA HA HA HA HA"**

 **Hey just so you know I mean abosultey no disrespect. I love this fanfic. I just think it would be funny For Sarah and Clementine to be younger female verisons of Waldorf and Statler from The Muppets.**

 **My only complanit is I wish you would update more often. I have alot of jokes for Clem and Sarah to make. All of them funny so please don't keep us fans waiting.**

 _If there aren't a lot of "Q & A"s, dares, and whatever for me to do anything with, I won't upload for a while. That's how it works. Making up any isn't really my strongest point so that's out of the question._

 **Oh right Jane's pregnant  
snaps finger and Jane has her baby boy, and he is safely taken away until the 48 hours are up **

_Speaking of babies, we have a lot of scumbag babies. Lilly and her 3 kids, Carley and her daughter, Kimberly, Mira and her kid(s), Kenny's kid that mysteriously disappeared, and Sarah and her son, Kaidan. I might make a list because I'm losing count._

 **Marlon) Don't think I didn't forget your little bitch ass.**

 **Knocks him out and tosses him into shark infested water**

"He won't be missed." said AJ.

 **Javier) how do you feel about people shipping Marianna and clem**

"Ew people do that?!" Javier gagged. "That's my niece! She's like a daughter to me! And Clementine, besides the age, she's a dick! I'd rather slit my wrists and eat my brother's ass than be with her."

 **Pours love potion down Lilly's throat, making her fall madly in love with Mark**

She's dead sooooooo

 **Shel walks into a dark room nervously, eyeing the figure hidden in the shadows.**

 **"Sir several of the scumbags have already been picked off by the serial killers and walkers. Except for that one kid who's boning them." she said.**

 **The figure smiled and we get a good look at his face.**

 **It's Vernon**

"Excellent!" smirked the elderly man. "It won't be long before they are all finished off in due time either by each other, themselves, the nutcases, or the walkers. Whatever happens, I look forward to their demises."

 **Clem) Ellie called, she's sorry and wants you back**

"Wants me back where?" said Clementine. "I don't want that asshole anywhere near me after all the trouble that bitch had caused before."

 **Me: (yanks Clementine's pants down and runs)**

"Jokes on you!" she yells shaking her fists as she pulled up her pants. "I've got shorts on! Ha!"

 **(A purple car drives up)**

 **Me: (steps out) Hello scumbags! (sees everyone) Wow...You all look old.**

Everyone: HEY!

 **I have a question for Telltale's Joker. Why do you hide your feelings for Bruce just kiss him already!**

"Oh no! Bruce and I just buddies!" he wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder. "Isn't that right, Bruce?"

"Uh yeah sure," said Bruce putting on a forced smile. "We're great friends! Which is why John here isn't going to murder me in my sleep!" He then whispers, "Help me!"

"You say something?"

"Nope. I was just saying help me uh pick out a new suit when I get back!" he lied. "Yeah. That's what I said."

 **I could add Tommy Jarvis to help if you don't mind.**

 _Uh who? I mean sure you can but fill me in on who that is. Please don't say "just google it" because google might not bring up whoever you're talking about._

 _*So it seems people have added onto the scumbag session so that's good. Like I said somewhere in this chapter, I'm not adding questions of my own in here. As long as people review, I will stick around. Adding them myself would just be boring. Besides, reviews let me know somewhere out there, there are people still reading and being entertained by this. Guests or not, you people are still readers and I appreciate that. So thanks. Until next time readers._


	8. Chapter 9

**So, Clem, how violent were you to Abel during his interrogation?**

She burst out laughing. "Are you serious? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Uh do you know who you're talking to?" asked Luke. "I don't know if you're new here, but Clem's a nutcase."

 _It really isn't that shocking. Clementine's no longer the sweet, innocent kid we all loved in season 1. She's gone through massive changes, most notably her personality. Whatever part of her would've been horrified at someone being tortured is long gone._

 **Not gonna lie: having the Jason Todd and Lee thing be real would be an interesting angle, especially since it hasn't really been touched upon or acknowledged since the first story.**

 **Also, is it just me, or is Lee's character model from Season 4 a massive improvement over his original model? I'm amazed that I even think that.**

 _That is true. I wasn't a big fan of it but I did consider it after a while. However since people hated it, I threw it out of the window and decided not to pay any mind to it. Now that it's the final season, I'm curious if we should bring that plot element back._

 _His model was fantastic in season 4 and you can tell they worked really hard on it, unlike Season 3 with Kenny and Jane. I think the only reason why Kenny and Jane looked like trash was because of how brief they were going to appear. They did go back and "improve" their models in a later patch, but fans were still unsatisfied. I'm glad they put a lot of effort into recreating Lee. If they thought the backlash behind Kenny and Jane's models were bad, imagine the backlash if Lee's model was terrible._ _Lee looked buffer than he did in season 1 which caused people to crack jokes about him working out in the afterlife._

 **1) "Vernon, you old shit-bag, why are you doing this bullshit here? Placing the scumbags on an abandoned island filled with walkers and psychos? How did you even did all that without Michael Myers mauling you alive? I bet you tranquilized the Slashers from far distance and placed them there somehow."**

"Why am I? Why am I?" he burst out laughing maniacally. "I'm doing this because of their actions! They're all total assholes who deserve the karma coming to them! Why else is this called the scumbag interviews?"

"Didn't you steal a boat?" asked Shel.

"Like I said, **karma**!" he huffed. "Anyways, everyone on this island has been put here because they're all pure evil! To make matters worse, some of them have children of their own or kids they look after! We can't let them become like their guardians or their rotten parents!"

"So a purge is in order!" finished Shel. "My job is to report how successful we are."

"As for how I've done it, I've hired someone to capture all of these psychos," he admitted. "As for the walkers, they were that difficult to catch. The transportation bit was a bit difficult though."

 **2) "James, why are you a sudden necrophiliac!? Disgusting kid!"**

"I wasn't screwing walkers!" he denied. "Even if I was, they're people too. Deep inside of them, I know for a fact they're still there so technically they aren't dead."

 _They're rotting you idiot!_

"So? Still a person. What are you, necrophohibic?"

 **3) "Alvin, who are you avoiding the most? Jigsaw? Or Jason Voorhees?"**

"I really don't know," he said rubbing his chin. "Probably Jigsaw since his will slowly kill you."

 **4) "Clem, What do you think of Michael Myers? Do you secretly respect him? Or are you terrified of The Shape who'd kill you mercilessly?"**

"If anything, I feel bad for him," confessed Clementine. "As for respect, I respect that he's so powerful. I will admit that I don't look forward to meeting him. By the way, didn't he fuck his sister? That's fucking nasty. The shape sounds terrifying."

 **5) "Lee, be honest, would you sacrifice Clem or AJ to save your own self?**

"Uh..."

"UH?!" said the two.

"That sounds like hesitation to me!" said AJ.

 **6) "Jane, there's a pair of sharp scissors beside that tree."**

"Better than nothing!" she said as she grabbed them.

 **7) "Lu** **ke, grow some balls and get over Jane. She's loyal to Kenny now, takes her vows very seriously... unlike Lee."**

"I am over her," he insisted. "I don't love Jane anymore and that's the truth."

"Are you sure about that?" asked Bonnie.

"Yes I am. I don't mind at all."

 **8) "Lilly, there's a traitor amongst you. One of them helped the person who placed all you there to die. And no! It's not Ben this time!"  
**

"I should've known!" said the ghost of Lilly. "Snakes! All of 'em!"

 **9) "Carver and Troy, how're you both coping with your punishments?"**

"Let's just say that being on this island is better," said Troy.

"My ass still hurts if that's what you're asking," said Carver rubbing his butt. "Sitting in a chair from hours on end will do that to you."

 **10) "Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na- JIG-SAW! No I'm serious, he's behind you Alvin."**

"Well fu-." he was knocked out from behind.

 **Tommy Jarvis is one of the biggest well-known characters in Friday the 13th. He has killed Jason Vorhees twice and helped kill an insane paramedic who was pretending to be Jason. Jason first encountered Tommy when Jason murdered his mom and all his sister's friends.**

 _Ah okay._

 **Plus Tommy Jarvis is better looking then Lee and any other male could hope to be**

 _Hold your horses there, buddy. Is he handsome? Sure. But more so than other men? I disagree._

 **:Minerva) Pulls out gun and shoots her in the head**

 _Well she's by herself sooo…_

 **James) how do you feel about everyone knowing your dirty little secret?**

 ***Looks at walkers* Really dirty secret**

"I don't fuck walkers!" he insisted. "I was massaging his back!"

 **Rebecca) Your son is making friends with Leatherface and lee and clem are allowing it! How does this make u feel**

"Why am I surprised?" she threw up her hands. "Those two are already nutty enough. Now my son's friends with an even worse psycho."

 **Pete, Alvin and Nick are running from Savini Jason, before jumping into a cabin. Nick barely has time to breathe before he is pulled out the window screaming.**

 **Pete: NICK! he goes to the window but alvin holds him back.**

 **Alvin: It's ok Pete, he was our weakest link anyways.**

 **Nick jumps back into the cabin**

 **Nick: I got the fuckers mask.**

 **Alvin: Can i please finish what I was saying**

 **Points at Nick**

 **Alvin: Weakest link**

"Me?" he pointed at himself. "Last time I checked, I just came inside with a mask belonging to an notorious serial killer! How am I the weakest link again!"

"Yeah, Alvin. Give my nephew some credit!" said Pete patting his nephew on the back. "I don't see you doing anything epic."

 **Lee bumps into a man with blonde hair and blue eyes with a shotgun.**

 **Seeing the man is muscular than him Lee feels like he could steal all the women from him**

 **Lee: Who the fuck are you?**

 **?: Tommy Jarvis**

 **Lee is to busy gaping at Tommy's hair, which is greater than Kenny's beard to reply**

 **To all the Women) Who's sexier, Lee or Tommy Jarvis**

 **Everyone: Tommy**

 **Lee: You fucking dick!**

 _Damn Lee._

 _"Fuck you and your glorious hair!" said Lee._

 **Can we ask Tommy questions?**

 **And can you let him stay after the island bit is over**

 _I don't see why not._

 **David and Kate) Where the fuck were you when Gabe got slapped by Doug.**

"Mind your own business," said David.

"What he means is that we didn't want to be here," explained Kate. "So we hid."

 _As for my explanation, I forgot David's name and was too lazy to look it up. As for Kate, I forgot she existed for a moment. Same with her stepdaughter._

 **And David needs to leave Kate, she whored around with Javier after discovering David was still alive. Even though they're married**

 _He's better off without her. Someone who fucks their brother's wife is an asshole, plain and simple. If she'll do it to David, then she'll do it to Javier as well. These hoes ain't loyal._

 **Troy is running through the forest before stepping into a bear trap. He begins to scream before two feet appear behind his head. Looking up he spots Savini Jason above him. Troy screams as the pitchfork is slammed into his head.**

 _RIP_

 **Duck) This is for the first 3 episodes of season 1.**

 **Shoves him a herd of walkers, who devour him quickly**

Duck screams as they devour him.

 **Katjaa) Someone killed Duck.**

 **What are u going to do**

"I...I don't know," she sighed as she curled into a ball. "Oh god...it's happening again."

 **Everyone) Vernon put you all on the island, when you get back beat his ass**

Everyone: WHAT?"

"That no good son of a bitch!" yelled Kenny. "First the boat and now our lives? Fuck that old bastard!"

"I'm going to hurt that old fart!" said Clementine. "I can't believe he'd put us all in danger like that! How about I give him a taste of his medicine."

"Who?" said the cast of season 3 and 4.

Clem) Do you know people love Clementine/Ellie?

"People ship me with her?" Clementine made a face. "Why?"

 _Clementine and Ellie get compared to each other a lot. People tend to ship characters who have things in common even if they're not in the same universe._

 **We cut to the scumabgs kids, who are watching the people on the island fight for survival.**

 **Kaidan: Shouldn't we try to help them.**

 **Kimberly smacks him on the head,**

 **Kimberly: Do YOU want to end up on that island**

 **Kaidan makes a zipping motion on his mouth**

"Do you think our parents will be alright?" asked Lilly's daughter, Naomi.

"Dad's tough!" said Kaidan. "He'll be fine!"

"Uh..." Kimberly rubbed the back of her neck as she appeared to be unsure. "Maybe?"

 **clementine's parents) what are you going to do about doug beating clem**

"He what?" said Ed. "I'll kill him if I find him."

 **Brody) I didn;t forget you either.**

 **Shoves her into Micheal Myers arms**

"No wait! I-I'm sure we can..." her sentence gets cut off as anybody who is nearby hears her screams.

Lee! Carley's pregnant again. It's Kenny's

"Damn you, Kenny!" Lee snarled. "Always stealing my pussy! He has his own at home so why does he need to touch mine."

 _I'm teleporting everyone back to the interview station as the 48 hours is now up._


	9. Chapter 10

**I forgot to mention that Jason Todd as Scumbag Lee is now canon. I'll do something with it next chapter if someone doesn't beat me to it.**

 **1) "Hey everyone, Shel was Vernon's accomplice on placing you on that island."**

"What?!"

"Shel, how could you!" Becca couldn't believe her older sister had doomed them all on an island. She nearly had her face sawed off and it was all Shel's fault it happened! What happened to looking after family and friends? "I- trusted you above all else. I should kick your ass!"

"Vernon, you asshole!" Lee yelled looking around the room. "Where is that piece of shit? I'll put him in the ground!"

"I regret nothing!" said Shel. "You all are nothing but a bunch of scumbags who needed to be purged from this world! There's already enough evil and we don't need you all living to continue doing that evil!"

"Fuck you, skank!" said Clementine. "If you hate how we are, maybe you shouldn't have participated in the scumbag interviews!"

"I was forced to!" she shouted. "Do you think I want me or my sister to be here? I'd rather be with the damn walkers!"

"Good because you're about to join 'em!" Clementine pointed at her with a baseball bat. "Get her!"

"I regret nothing!" Shel yelled as she ran away. Meanwhile Vernon was sitting back in his chair on his lunar base watching as everyone chanced down Shel.

 **2) "Everyone, again, which form a torture would you rather endure for 42 hours? The tickle torture? Or the waterboarding torture?"**

"A-are you serious?" asked Clementine. "Tickle torture!"

"I'd rather be tickled," said Lee. "Fuck the other option."

 **3) "Clem, that was his fifteen-year-old niece he had sex with in Halloween 6 where a cult forces them to fornicate in order to make a baby for Michael to kill but lived later on. Anyways, how would you react IF lee chooses to sacrifice AJ for you to live or the other way around?"**

"Ew!" Clementine gagged. "That's disgusting! Ugh, that just ruined whatever appetite I had."

 **4) "Nicky, how does it feel to be the weakest link? N-no... I'm wasn't laughing.. PFFT!"**

"Screw you too!" Nick pouted as he crossed his arms.

 **5) "Lilly, What are the triplets names and genders?"**

"Alice, Danni, and Rachel," said Lilly. "All girls."

 _I've compiled a list of children and their names. Ahem:_

 _Kimberly- Carley and Kenny's daughter_

 _Alice, Danni, and Rachel- Lilly and Lee_

 _Kaidan- Sarah and Luke_

 _Troy- Mira and Lee_

 _If there were anymore scumbag babies born throughout this series, I missed them._

 **6) "Men, do you prefer vagina? Or anal?"**

"What am I? Gay?" Lee nervously laughed.

"Well you did screw Nick," pointed out Clementine. "Even if he acts like a pussy, it doesn't mean he has one."

"Shut up!" Lee blushed. "A-anyways, vagina obviously."

"Pussy duh!" said Javier.

"Vagina because assholes are disgusting." said Omid.

"Sure they are...MAGIC MIKE." Lee caused everyone from the first interview session to laughter.

"You fucker! Don't bring that up!" Omid blushed. He had thought everyone forgot because nobody mentioned it after all these years. Of course Lee had to jog everyone's memories.

"Magic Mike?" asked Javier. "What does that have to do with Omid?"

Here's a flashback!

* * *

 ** _Q: To Omid: So tell us, what happened in Las Vegas hmm? You mention it, and then leave it as a cliff hanger, and I don't think anyone appreciated that all too much._**

 _A: "I don't really want to talk about it." said Omid rubbing the back of his head. "It's a little too embarrassing it."_

 _"A little?" Christa laughed. "I've never been more amused in my life. You see Omid lost a lot of money gambling, so of course he had to make it back…"_

 _"Please don't tell it."_

 _"Shut up." said Lee covering his short friend's mouth. "Tell it."_

 _"Well if Omid doesn't want me to, I won't…" Just as Omid sighed in relief, she quickly said. "Magic Mike."_

 _"CHRISTA!" Omid looked embarrassed._

 _"BRAH!" Lee burst out laughing. "REALLY? REALLY?!"_

 _"You've watched Magic Mike before?" said Kenny in amusement._

 _"You must have too since you know what that is." said Lee._

 _"Kat made me watch it!" said Kenny pointing a finger at his wife._

 _"No I didn't!" said Katjaa. "Don't you dare lie! You thought it was that basketball movie back in theaters. You should have known something was up when they wouldn't let Duck in."_

 _"Did you guys walk out once you saw what it was?" said Carley curious._

 _"No." said Katjaa before Kenny could say something. "Kenny wanted his money's worth so we stayed for the whole movie."_

 _"I hope you enjoyed that man bulge, Kenny." Lee said cracking up along with a bunch of other people._

 _"Shut up, Lee! And you! Wipe that look off your face!" Kenny yelled at Lilly who was cracking up._

 _"It is pretty funny." said Carley. "Just picturing your face during that movie...oh boy. I wish I could have been there."_

 _"He licked his lips once." sad Katjaa smirking a little._

 _"MY LIPS WERE DRY!"_

 _"Yeah right dad." said Duck. "You enjoyed that movie. I know you did. I heard what you whispered to mom."_

 _"I DIDN'T SAY SHIT!"_

"You really had to add that last part, huh?" Kenny groaned.

"Well you did do both of those things, so..." Duck giggled.

"Shut it Duck...or shall I say Goat Hukie!" Kenny smirked as his son stopped laughing.

"Oh sweeeeeet Goat Hukie!" Clementine mimicked Luke. "She go-nah git us!"

"I've never said that!" snapped Luke.

"SARAH! GET YOUR DUMB ASS BACK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE OR DO YOU WANT THE BAT AGAIN!?" quoted Lee.

"I've never said that to my daughter!" insisted Carlos. "Stop spreading nonsense."

"Quote the bat and I WILL hurt you!" Rebecca warned her ex-husband.

 **8) "Lee, I dare you to beat Louis' ass until he's down for good, so.. here's a metal bat."**

"He just got his tongue cut off!" Clementine threw herself on top of him. "Leave him alone!"

"I've literally done worse! Now move!" he demanded.

"NO." Lee just sighed and sat down.

"Fine then!"

 **9) "Jane, how's motherhood going for you? What's the kiddo's name? Is Kenny treating you both right?"**

"You're so cute!" Jane cute cooed at her baby. "Oh yes you are!"

"Hey, lemme hold 'em!" Kenny tried reaching for his son only for his wife to turn away. "He's my son too!"

"No way," she said as she nuzzled her newborn. "I've seen how weird you get with babies."

"I can't help I missed my son!" snapped Kenny. "Since you want to bring up old shit, how about I bring up how you let your sister die! At least I was willing to die for AJ and didn't want to leave him behind, Miss Survival of the Fittest! Don't even get me started on what you did in season 3!

"Fuck you!"

"No, fuck you! Now give me my baby before you let it die too!"

"I'll kill you!" Jane pratically threw her son into Molly's arms before jumping on Kenny.

Instead of anybody helping, a few people took out their cellphones and either shouted "WORLD STAR" or were going "live" on social media.

10) "So- OW! Who threw a pineapple at me!? Grrr! Nick!"

Nick just laughed.

 **11) "Alvin- HEY! STOP THROWING SHIT ME! I SAW THAT WALKER ARM YOU THREW JAMES! OW! STOP THAT SHIT! SECURITY!"**

"Yeah where is security?" asked Clementine. The flying monkeys hadn't been seen for the last couple of chapters now.

 **12) "I put a good amount of money in your interviews budget. Clem! Don't even think about it!"**

"Aw!" Clementine pouted while everyone else celebrated.

 **Sarah and Clementine are at the beach talking about stuff. Sarah is where a blue and Red Bikni with Purple Flip Flops. while Clementine is wearing a purple one peace barefooted**  
 **Sarah: You Clem there's one thing I don't quite get**  
 **Clementine: What's that**  
 **Sarah: Why are people afraid of snakes I mean snakes are nothing special all they do is slither around the can't do any**  
 **Clementine: Yeah you're right Snakes are so stupid**

 **Both: Hahahahahaha**  
 **They laugh until a long giant shadow appears behind them**  
 **Sarah: Clem.**  
 **Clementine: Yeah**  
 **Sarah: There's a snake right behind us isn't there**  
 **Clementine: Yep**  
 **They turn around to ssea a giant Titanaboa behind them**  
 **Both WAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHHA!**  
 **They turn tail and run in the opposite direction snake in hot pursuit**  
 **Clementine: Gah! Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck**  
 **Sarah: Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit**  
 **The snake then wraps it's tale around Sarah and throws her far off into the distants**  
 **Sarah: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**  
 **Clementine:SARAH**  
 **Clem keeps running for another 15 minutes until she thinks she's lost the snake**  
 **Clementine: Oh yes I lost it**  
 **She turns around only for the snake to appear infront of her. it wasn't long before her head was inside the monsters mouth**  
 **Clementine What The FMMMPHHHHH MMMMMMPH MMMMMMMM MMMMPH!**  
 **The Snake began to swallow Clem headfirst**  
 **Clementine MMMPH HELP ME! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!**  
 **Clementine violently kicked her legs back and forth in an atempted to break free**  
 **Clementine (Gasp) No Someone Save Me!**  
 **She Kept kicking and Kicking until finally the snake swallowed her Whole**  
 **Meanwhile Sarah Finally Lands**  
 **Sarah: Ugh. The Elfile Tower? Oh Cool I'm In Paris**  
 **Random Guy: Hey Look At The Chick On The Roof Of The Hotel**  
 **He Snaps A Photo of Sarah**  
 **Sarah: Ah Fuck I'm In Vegas**  
 **Meanwhile Duck Kills The Snake at Pulls Clementine Out Unharmed Just Very Wet**  
 **Duck: You Okay**  
 **Clementine: Yeah Just Remind Me not to insult snakes anymore**  
 **Duck: Okay**  
 **So that was my sketch. Hey just out of curiousoty are you able to illustrate this or do you know someone who could? Cause that be fucking rad. Oh also i should metion The Clementine in this comment is the season 4 Clementine. Okay Bye.**

 _It would've been her anyways since everyone is their season 4 ages, dead or not._

"Ugh I reek!" groaned Clementine.

 **Why Did You Change Your Name From MistyXKasmie To PompusRumpus?**

 _Just wanted to. I've only changed my name twice since on this site._

 **Everyone) Hey assholes, have a good time on the island?**

Everyone except AJ- FUCK NO.

"I thought it was cool," shrugged the child only to be glared at by everyone there.

 **Jane) Kenny cheated on you**

"You bitch!" he yelled at her as he held a bag of ice over his eye. His bottom lip had a cut in the middle, his face, neck and arms were visibly bruised. Jane had a handprint on her face, a few bruises on her arms, and a few scratches on her collarbone. To make a long story short, they fucked each other up.

"That's a damn lie! I've never cheated even though I should've!"

"I bet it was with that simp, Luke!" he accused. "He has always been jealous I had you and he didn't! You had your chance, Luke! That's my wife you fuck! You beta cuck! Coward! Piece of shit! Stupid country bumkin! Tree hugging hipster with a little dick!"

"You take that back!" Luke leapt up from his chair.

"Make me," he went over and shoved Luke. "You don't have the balls!"

"You're really push-" Kenny slapped Luke across the face before shoving him to the floor. He then proceeded to jump on top of him and beat him up.

"Beat his ass!" cheered Clementine. "Fight! FIGHT!"

 **Everyone) shows them a tied up Vernon and Shel.**

 **These are the people who put you on the island.**

 **Hands them baseball bats with barbed wire wrapped around it with razors attached to the wire.**

 **Go crazy**

Everyone: GET 'EM!

 **Louis) It's time to learn what it's like to be Nick.**

 **Louis, still missing his tongue looks curious**

 **Prepare your asshole**

 **Holds up a giant cactus**

 **Louis attempts to run but is tackled by me**

"I'll protect you!" Clementine tripped over someone's foot.

 **Jane and Kenny) I have the perfect name for your son**

 **Points at Lee**

 **Lee: I'm hon-**

 **Out of the way loser**

 **shoves Lee aside and points at Tommy, who is flexing while the women are drooling over him**

 **Name him after that guy**

"He already has a name," said Jane. "It's Jamie."

"No it isn't. It's Ken Jr."

"And we decided this when?" she raised a brow at the man. "It's my baby."

"And who laid with you to get this baby? ME."

"Yeah but who carried this kid for 9 months?" she crossed her arms and glared at him.

"So? It's still MY baby. Plus, I had to deal with your bullshit for those 9 months!"

"My bullshit?" she laughed. "I had to deal with your nagging, fishy smell from work, do the housework, feed all three of us, and deal with the symptoms of being pregnant for 9 months! Fuck you! His name is Jamie."

"It's Ken Jr!"

"B-but my name is Ken Jr!" Duck raised a finger.

"It's Goat Hukie, remember?" Lee laughed.

 **Violet) Your thought on Louis getting a cactus up his ass**

"You people are fucking twisted!" she answered.

Whispers into a sobbing Louis's ear

Welcome to day one of hell asshole

"You can pick on Nick, but not Lois!" Clementine shook her fist. "And I don't know who tripped me, but YOU'RE getting a cactus up YOUR ass!"

 **Nick) Savini Jason had me write down what to say to you since Tommy has a restraining order against him**

 **It goes like this: Dear asshole, give me my mask back and I swear I'll only kill you once**

"Fuck you!" he stuck out his tongue. "I got your mask, bitch! It's my trophy and I ain't givin' it back, ya bastard!"

 **AJ) the slashers liked you so much they decided to get you something**

 **A mini machete from Jason**

 **A book entitled How to be evil 101 from Micheal**

 **A glove with knives for fingers from Freddy**

 **A Chainsaw from Leatherface**

 **And a phone to set up a game from Jigsaw**

"Oooh!" his eyes lit up like a candle as he saw his gifts. "This is the best day ever!"

"Oh hell no!" Rebecca reached for the gifts but they were held away from her. "AJ, you better give me those right the hell now or else!"

"No! They're mine!"

"Don't you dare tell me no!" she turned to Alvin. "Alvin, you better come get your son right now!"

"Son, look here..."

"No, YOU look here," said AJ. "Why don't you go find your real son? Last time I checked, you're not the only person my mom laid with! Also I heard you're not even my real dad, so mind your own business you old fartface!"

"Clementine!" both parents turned to the teenager.

"What? It's true."


	10. Chapter 11

**I didn't see most of these until after I updated this. My bad.**

 **Also I know I have a lot of reviews to go through. However after going a while without updating here's this.**

* * *

 **Gabe) Shoves love potion where he falls madly in with Duck**

 **Gill) pours loves potion down his throat where he is madly in love with Duck to**

 **This evolves in a tug of war**

"When I said I wanted to be fought over," Duck stated as the two teenagers pulled on his wrists. "I meant by GIRLS not guys!"

"Gabe, you better not let him take him!" said Javier. "I didn't raise a pussy!"

"You didn't raise him," David said before cheering on his own son. "Kick his ass, son!"

"So we're just going to ignore the forced romance?" Carley rolled her eyes. "Oh boy, I think we are."

 _You forget this has been going on since interview #1._

"Can't love potions lead to rape?" said Violet. "I mean the person isn't in their right mind so they can't really consent."

 _You...you have a point._

 **Carlos) Sarah's pregnant with Nick's kid**

"What?!" Carlos looked at Nick. "I REFUSE TO BELIEVE MY DAUGHTER HAS A KID ON THE WAY WITH...WITH...WITH THAT!"

"Hey!"

 **Clem's Parents) Points at Alvin**

 **That's Doug, beat his ass**

 **Alvin screams before the two are on him, punching and kicking him all over**

"Don't touch my Clementine!" Diana delivered a swift kick into Alvin's stomach. "You piece of filth!"

"Take this, you scum!" Ed kicked him in the back. "You touch her again and I'll kill you!"

"But that's not..." began Clementine. Before she could finish, Rebecca covered up her mouth.

"FUCK YOU, DOUG!" Rebecca burst out laughing.

 **Tommy takes off his shirt, causing all the women to grin**

 **Meanwhile Lee and Javier are getting pissed at Tommy**

"It's Bigby all over again!" Lee threw up his hands. "Damn you, Tommy!"

"You're not that hot!" Javier said. "I'm way hotter. Right, Lee?"

"No! You're hideous! I'm the hot one!"

"Oh please. Do you know how about many babes have walked up to this sexy beast?" He said as Sam the dog sniffed his hand.

"If you're talking about your dog, that's gross." Lee pointed at Sam.

"No! Now shoo, mutt!" he snapped at the dog. Sam growled at him before leaving the room. "You look like a dog!"

"So do you!" he pushed Javier.

"You live like one!"

"Your mother!"

"Don't talk about my mom!" Javier pulled out a baseball bat. "I'll knock the hair off your nuts!"

"Bet you'd like to, ya..." David threw a chair at Lee's head, knocking him out. He had completely forgotten David was Javier's brother.

 **Shoves Tommy and Carley in a closet together**

 **NOW FUCK**

"Carley, don't do it!" yelled Lee as they were then locked in there. "I love you!"

 **Tommy) You alway this badass**

"Since birth!" he grinned.

 **Carlos) I told Jigsaw about you pretending to be a doctor, you're joining the game with Doug and Alvin**

"You liar!" Carlos was tired of being called a fake doctor. Why the hell did people think that? Just because he couldn't tell a dog bite from a walker bite didn't mean he wasn't a real doctor. "I've never worked in a gas station, you idiots!"

 **Brody) explain in great detail how Micheal killed you, and if you pull a carlos you'll join them in the game too**

Brody: Bite me! I'm not reliving that! It's not like you can do anything worse seeing as I'm dead.

"Oh you shouldn't have said that," smirked the teenager.

 _I think someone killed Brody and then got her rekilled her somehow._

 **Lee) Kenny told me he banged Carley cause he finds it funny when you're mad**

"Did he have to physically do it?" he frowned. "He could've just said it instead of being a piece of shit!"

"So says the piece of shit," said Larry.

 **Police crash into the room demanding everyone put their hands up and get against the wall.**

Everyone scurried to the wall and did as they were told. AJ looked up to Clementine and whispered, "What's going on?"

"I-I don't know!" she whispered down to him. "Just keep quiet, AJ."  
 **  
Police officer 1) We heard Lee Everett didn't make it to Jail when the apocalypse started, which one of you is he**

 **Everyone but Clem and AJ point at Lee**

 **Lee: You fuckers**

 **He is quickly cuffed and led away**

"You assholes!" Clementine glared at them. "I can't believe you assholes sold him out! How could you?"

"You do realize they had gun right?" said Nick.

"What did he do?" asked Sarah.

"You asked that AFTER he gets dragged away?!" she shouted at her. "You may be book smart, but you're a real dumb ass when common sense applies!"

"Yeah what did he do?" asked AJ. "I don't think you've ever told me."

"He killed someone who slept with his wife."

"OH!" said AJ. "Then why's he going to jail! He deserved it! Why does Lee still have to go?"

"Because it's murder, AJ," explained Alvin. "You can't just kill people just because they made you mad or slept with your woman."

"Is that what you told yourself after mom had sex with my other dad?" A few of the scumbags snickered as Alvin began stuttering over his words and his face reddened out of anger.

 **Larry) How did Jason kill you**

"He stabbed me and then threw me out the window," stated Larry.

 **Lee) Don't drop the soap in prison**

"Fuck you!" Lee shouted from inside of the police car.

 **Kaidan) Your dad's a pussy**

"We've all known that for years!" Clementine smirked at Luke.

"No he's not!" insisted the child. "My dad's the best! The only loser here is Alvin!"

There was silence in the room. Clementine nudged AJ. "Uh aren't you going to defend Alvin? You know, your dad?"

"Dad? Oh you mean CARVER. Yeah my dad ain't no pussy! My dad beat the shit outta yours!" He pointed at Kimberly and then he pointed at Kaidan. "And you, your dad cared more about pussy than his friends! Clementine told me!"

"Don't swear, AJ!" said Rebecca. "And respect your real father, Alvin!"

"My name's CJ! I don't want to be named after a total simp! Go get your ass beaten by my FATHER, you beta fuck!"

"You tell 'em, CJ!" Clementine laughed, enjoying AJ's rude behavior.

"You little shit! Come here!" She grabbed her son, yanked him out of his chair, and dragged him away. AJ tried getting away from her but his mom was a lot stronger, especially while angry. "I'm gonna teach you to disrespect your parents!"

Shortly after the door shut, they could hear AJ screaming and crying while Rebecca hollered at him. "You weren't crying when you cussed at me! Don't you ever say that shit again! Do you understand me? Don't! You! Ever! Fucking! Cuss! At! Me! Or! Alvin! AGAIN! Now go sit down and don't come out until I say so!"

When Rebecca got back inside of the room, a chair was thrown at her, but she caught it mid-air, twirled around, and flung it back at the thrower, aka Clementine, who was knocked out of their chair. As she rubbed her forehead, Rebecca stood over her. "You're the reason why my child is so fucked up! You're not allowed to see him again! I don't care if you did raise him!"

 **Everyone) Did you enjoy the island**

Everyone minus AJ- NO

 **Carver) Stabs him in the balls with a knife**

"GAH!" he fell over. "My balls!

 **Stranger) You're also going to join Doug, Alvin and Carlos**

"For what?" When he said this Lee fell out o his chair, Christa rolled her eyes, Omid face-palmed, Kenny slapped his forehead, and Clementine shook her head.

 **Conrad) "Conrad." I say his name angrily.**

 **The man flinches remembering the other's punishments and his actions in the game**

 **You were one of my favorite characters. i'm glad you lived in my game**

"Oh uh thanks!" Conrad said nervously.

 **Ben) Good news your going to be a daddy, Becca's pregnant**

 _Another scumbag kid? Well fuck!_

"Wait, Ben's a girl though!" said Clementine. "How did..."

"Are you one of those futanari things I've been reading about?" said Alvin.

"You've been in those hentai thingies again!" Rebecca glared at her husband. "I told you to get rid of those!"

"Becca's not even hot!" said Duck. "You couldn't have picked someone else?"

"That's a damn lie!" said Becca. "I'm not pre-wait, what did you say, Duck?!"

 **Luke) on a scale of 1 to 30, how much did it hurt when Micheal Myers crushed your skull**

Luke: *sigh* 30

 **Arvo is glancing nervously around the room, since his encounter with Micheal he had become afraid of his own shadow**

 **Arvo screams in terror as he spots Micheal staring at him behind the door**

 **Everyone looks to where he is staring but Micheal has disappeared**

"Someone call ghost busters and get this fuck outta here," said Clementine. "If he's going to keep screaming, I'd rather he do that in the afterlife."

 **Marlon) Throws him out the window where he plummets 200 feet to his death**

 _You can't kill what's already dead._

 **Rebecca) Freddy told me to tell you this**

 **" I heard about you sleeping with different people, see you tonight bitch."**

"First off, no I don't," said Rebecca. "Even if I did, I don't fucking know you! Who ever the hell are you?"

 _*shows Rebecca a picture of Freddy*_

"What the hell?! I wouldn't sleep with that if he paid me!"

 _I don't think his intentions are to sleep with you._

 **Mitch) Here's a bomb, go put it under Lily's chair**

"Gladly!" He frowned. "Hold on, she's dead! It's not going to do anything!"

 **Duck) Have you met your brother Peter and his family.  
You have an ugly niece **

"No," he sighed. "Are you sure he's my real dad? I really want dad to be my real father."

 **Lily) Quickly disembowels her**

 _She's dead._

 **Nate) who killed you**

Nate: Hmmm it was...oh right! I don't fuckin' know! I don't have eyes in the back of my head, you fuck!

"Don't be so rude," said Katjaa. "They didn't know that. Don't mind this, idiot. It was the one with the hockey mask."

Looks at Clem who is sitting by James

Clem) how is it you're able to sit next to James knowing this dick had his dick in a walkers's rotting asshole

"It makes me wonder," said Clementine smiling nervously. "If when I die, if this guy's going to fuck my body."

"You wish!" James glared at her. "I wouldn't even touch you alive."

"You're gay," stated Lee. "No shit you wouldn't touch Clementine."

"You know what I meant!"

 **Lily) How do you feel about people shipping you with Doug**

"With that guy?" Lilly rolled her eyes. "Ugh people will ship anything won't they?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Doug felt offended.

"We wouldn't make sense as a couple. We're not compatible. Besides, I don't find you attractive at all."

"Neither do I, you washed up bitch!"

 **Lee) People ship you with Doug**

"For what reason!?" He glared at Doug. "I hate that fat fuck!"

"And I hate you too!" retorted Doug.

 **Kenny) You just can't stay away from Carley can you?**

 **Divorces Lee and Carley, and Marries Kenny and Carley**

"Good riddance!" said Jane. "I hated being married to Kenny! It was forced anyways!"

"Anybody who fucks another man while married is a dickhead!" said Lee.

"You're one to talk!" said all of Lee's past wives.

 **"Oh, uhhh... I deem Lee and Jane married now." I put rings on their fingers before forcing them to kiss.**

 **"So how how're the newlyweds up to?"**

We cut to a scene of Kenny and Carley on a cruise ship somewhere in the pacific ocean. Carley is wearing a purple bikini and a pair of sunglasses while sun bathing on a towel beside a pool. Kenny was in a pair of navy blue swim trunks while he was chugging down a beer.

"Ah this is the life, isn't it, Carley?" he asked as he sat down his can on the ground. "No more interviews at the moment and most importantly, no more Lee."

"Damn straight."

 **hope u update today**

 _I'm doing it today._

 **How long are you considering doing this story? I'm asking because I'm considering putting my own version, 'Interviews and Misadventures of the Scumbags', in definite hiatus until you're done with this, because it doesn't make much sense to have these two going on at the same time.**

 _I have no clue. I'm thinking I'll do up to 50 chapters? Maybe even 100. Depending on the amount of reviews I get per day, that will either be a quick 50 or 100 or a slow one. I haven't decided which and I don't plan on doing any polls for it._

 _I guess it really doesn't make any sense to continue both at the same time. I hope I didn't inconvenience you by doing this story._

Nick) Jason thought you'd say that so he gave me another note

It says: I thought you'd say no so I took the only picture you have of ur mom, give me my mask and you get it back

"You son of a bitch!" That meant Jason had snuck inside of his home and stole that from him. He was going to shove his fist so far of that bastard's ass, his mom was going to feel it. Nobody messed with his mom or her photos! Ever! "I'll kill him!"

"You and what army?" asked Molly, amused. "I'm not going against that maniac."

"Me either!" said Clementine. "That's your beef and your beef alone."

"Uncle Pete?" Nick turned to his uncle.

"You're a grown man," said Pete. "You know what to do."

 **Nick) Maybe Tommy Jarvis will help you**

 **Looks over to see Tommy making out with Bonnie**

 **Or maybe not**

"Damn it, whose gonna..." he paused before looking at Asher and Rodrik who're arguing with each other. "Hey, Forresters!"

"What?" They all answered.

"Uh just the two older brothers," said Nick. "I need you guys to help me out here. I need some help with Jason. Could you two..."

"That's we were just talking about that," said Rodrik. "And we've come to the conclusion..."

"...that we're not doing anything!" finished Asher. "At least not without pay. Our money is useless in your world, so throw some of your paper money at us."

"B-but I'm broke," said Nick. He knew he should've listened to Luke about investing his money instead of spending it on a golden toilet with a matching plunger and toilet paper holder.

"Too damn bad then," said Asher. "Maybe one of your friends can help you out."

Nick sighed but he knew the younger of the two was right. He couldn't expect anyone to handle freakin' Jason without some sort of pay. The only person he knew that had enough money to pay the brothers was Clementine and he knew that was a bad idea. He'd be her slave until the day he died if he went to her. Even if that wasn't true, Clementine would make it her duty to embarrass him even more so than she did now. Then an idea popped up in his head. Liara had a bunch of money. He ran off to go use his cellphone.

"Hello this is Liara T'Soni…"

"Liara, I need your help!"

"...Sorry I can't come back to the phone right now," the answer machine said. "I'm on a business trip to Mars right now, so I may not be able to get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I may be able to get back to you at a later convenience. Thank you."

"Liara, can I borrow a couple thousand dollars?" asked Nick, hoping Liara would find his message soon. "There's this maniac after me and I need the money to get rid of him."

 **Rebecca) Freddy says "See you in your dreams bitch"**

"I don't look forward to seeing your ugly ass in my sleep," Rebecca frowned.

 **The stranger, Alvin, Carlos and Carver wake up in a bunker where it is dark.**

 **?: Hello scumbags you have all been proven guilty of horrible shit, Carlos you pretend to be a doctor when you're a gas station clerk, Stranger you kidnapped clem and lied about her parents, Alvin was a pimp last year and Carver was the a horrible person to the people living in his community**

"Fuck you!" said Carlos. "Let me out of here! I'm not a damn gas station clerk! I never was!"

"Hell yeah I was a pimp!" said Alvin. "So what? I bet I've made more money than you ever have!"

"I did what I had to do," shrugged Carver.

 **So I was wondering Alvin, stranger, Carlos and Carver would you like to play a game.**

 **There is a key in Alvin's gut, Next to Carver is a rusty machete, I think you know what to do**

 **Live or Die, Your choice**

 **Carver: GET OVER HERE FATASS!**

"Get away from me, you nutcase!" Alvin shouted as he ran away. He couldn't see but he didn't care. It wasn't like the others could see him in the dark either.

"You can't escape us," called out Carver. "We're going to find you eventually!"

"Let me do it," said Carlos. "I'm the doctor here."

"Didn't he just say..." began Thomas.

"HE LIED."

 **AJ) Don't let your mom take your gifts! fight her for them**

"I-I don't think I will." AJ rubbed his sore behind as he sniffled.

Larry) Jason Vorhees wants to share a drink with you

"How about no," said Larry.

 **Sarah: You what the best part of these chapters are?  
Clementine: No what?  
Sarah: They end.  
Both: Hahahahaha **

**Marlon and Brody) Your punishments aren't over**

 **Snaps fingers and they are in a Locked room**

 **Marlon: Where'd that asshole send us?**

 **Before Brody could respond a axe splits the door open and they see a man's face**

 **Here's Johnny! he yelled, staring at the two**

"Wait, we're ghosts," said Brody. "They can't touch us."

"Oh right."

 **1) "Don't you even think about it you assholes, put that walker leg down! Yeah! I'm looking at you three dickheads; Alvin, James and Nick!"**

Everyone puts down what they have.

"You'd deserve it though," muttered Nick.

 **2) "Everyone, would you rather endure reading and watching the Twilight saga? Or Fifty Shades series?"**

"I love Twilight!" said Sarah. "I have every book! It's a great paperweight!"

"So you weren't reading them?" said Clem. "I half expected you to."

"That's not true literature," Sarah rolled her eyes. "Twilight was a joke only popularized by boy-hungry teenage girls and horny middle-aged women that drooled over the actors and inserted themselves into the boring protagonist."

"You can't tell me you didn't weren't oogling some of those guys," said Bonnie. "It's not like they were ugly."

"And you were?" said Clem, turning to the older female.

"As big as the movies were, it was hard not to see some of the actors."

"Jacob was my favorite," Becca admitted as she blushed.

"Isn't he a dog? That's fucking gross! Sounds about white you'd do that!"

"First off, no it's not! If you wanna bring up stereotypes, how about you stealing!" she glared at Clementine. "Sounds about black you're a damn theft!"

"Whoa, enough stereotypes girls!" said Lee. "It's not nice so quit it!"

"Shut up!" the two girls snapped at him. "Mind your own business, old man!"

"Seriously, drop it," said Luke trying to be the peace making as usual. "We don't need this right now. Just call each other a bitch and move on."

The two glared at each other before as Luke suggested and went their separate ways. Lee slapped Luke on the back of his neck. "OW! What the hell was that for?"

"You don't steal my thunder!"

 **3) "You reek of shit, Nick- Oof!"**

"Yo mama!"

 **4) "Ow! Hate you too, Alvin!"**

"I really don't care!" Alvin threw a book at the guests.

 **5) "Ha! I caught that walker foot!"**

"Next time..." James faded backwards into the shadows.

 **6) "You all need good security... owww..."**

"We had some ages ago," Katjaa tapped her chin. "Where'd they go?"

"Who cares?" shrugged Lee. "It's funnier."

 **7) "Okay, who took my pouch of diamonds and gemstones!? Beating me, I understand! But stealing from me, that's straight up bullshit!"  
**

"Give me half and I'll help you out," grinned Clementine. "My diamond collection has been looking a little rough as of late."

 **8) "Everyone, again, Freddy Krueger? Or Chucky?"**

"Do we have to think of those maniacs?" groaned Carley. "I don't know. Maybe Chucky? He is a doll. You can just kick him handle him with one arm."

"I would rather not let anybody in my dreams," said Clementine. "They're already scary enough. I'll go with the doll."

"A doll duh!" said Luke. "Chucky's tough but he's small. It's not like he has the strength of a grown man."

"You **barely** have the strength of a grown man," smirked Clementine.

"You look like a man!"

"I'd rather look like a man than be a pussyhead!"

"Pussyhead? Really?" he laughed at her right along side everyone else.

"What are you?" Duck wiped away a tear. "Four?"

"Damn I thought you were hardcore," Gabe laughed. "Looks like I was wrong."

"Yeah what a loser!" laughed Gill.

 **9) "Jamie, who's the cute baby? Who's the cutest baby of the whole wide of this shitty world?"**

"Damn it, it's not Jamie!" said Kenny. "It's stupid!"

"Don't fight it, Kenny," sighed Lee. "You can always have more kids."

 _Please don't._

 **10) "Tell Luke to stop stalking me.. I saw him at my window, workplace, outside my house AND follows me from far distant wherever I go."**

"I always knew he was a creep," Clem glared at the man. "Filthy!"

 **Clem) sure I can pick on Louis look!**

 **Louis just got out of the pit before he gets a baseball bat to the head**

"This is fair!" she turned to Lee. "Hey, stop this!"

"Fuck 'em!" said Lee stubbornly. "Fuck you Louis!"

Clem groaned. "He's already gone through too much bullshit! Isn't anybody going to do anything?! Don't we have fucking rules?!"

"Oh so when it's him, it's not okay!" Nick huffed. "Where was that sympathy when I was getting this treatment, huh?"

"Because I don't fucking like you!" she shoved him. "Someone save him!"

 **AJ glares at Rebecca "IF you won't it so bad catch!" he throws the machete and it impales itself in Javier's gut**

"I'll teach you!" Rebecca dragged him off again. Meanwhile Javier was carted off.

Lily) You mad Carver left you to die?

"No shit!" Lilly rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't have left him behind and he's a total stranger!"

 **Ugh I'm done with this. *I grab Tommy by his tighty whities and swing him around in a circle before flinging him into a volcano.***

 **Sorry but I'm tired of the major hardon the women have for this booty-chinned fuck. No more drooling over anybody! You too Everett! You're not that hot! You look like somebody's uncle that thinks he's a womanizer when he's just harassing them.**

 **Oh wait. *snaps fingers which brings back Lois's tongue* Here's a ticket to an unnamed island. Have fun.**

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Louis ran away as fast as he could, eager to get away from the torture and mayhem.

 **Pours love potion down lily's throat making her fall in love with mark**

"Oh shi-!" he's cut off by Lilly's lips.

"Should we help him or...?"Lee gestured back to the pair. "Nah. I'm sure he's fine."

"How would you feel if that was you and Larry?" asked Carley.

"Point taken." he slapped Lilly and shook her by the shoulders. "Let him go, you bitch!"

 **Nick) Remember your Mansion?**

 **Shows him a video of Jason pouring gasoline all over the floor, on the walls, and on the TV. He then takes out a match and lights the house on fire.**

 **Nick's eye starts twitching**

 **Clem: He must really want that mask back**

"He's not getting it!" Nick threw down the mask before stomping on it repeatedly. "He's done too much now to get it back. If he wants it back, he can get it back after I swipe my ass with it!"

"Damn," Clementine stared as Nick then kicked it after for a second before pulling down his pants. "Whoa! What the fuck are you doing!"

"That's just nasty!" Duck turned his head as Nick wiped his ass with the mask.

"You're nasty, Uncle Nick!" said Kaidan. "I'm glad you dumped my mom! You're a crackpot, just like grampa said!"

"A who?!" he looked at Carlos who just shrugged.

 **Pours Love potion down Violet's throat making her fall in love with Clem.**

 **Pours love potion down Clem's throt making her fall in love with violet**

"Normally I would be all for lesbian action but..." Lee shuddered. "No way."

"I've always loved you Clementine!" Violet kissed Clementine's hand. " Fuck Louis and any other guy here! I'll treat you like a queen!"

"Hey, what about me?!" said Gabe grabbing Clementine's other hand. "What about what we had?"

"Back off, she's my girlfriend now, kid." Violet shoved him away and stepped in-between them.

"Kid!? I'm a year younger than you, you woman stealing cunt!"

"Don't let her take you away from you!" cheered on his uncle, patting his nephew's back. "Remind her that at least yours is real!"

"Uh what?"

 **Clem) what are you planning on naming your future kids**

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it."

 **I wonder, dose lily and Carley with love potions, so they fall madly in love with each other.**  
 **Carley: HA I got treated for tho-**

 **Lily tackles her and begins making out**

"I'M FREE!" Mark runs away crying.

 **Lee) you're getting shit on this interview season aren't you**

"Not as much as Louis was," said Lee. "But yeah I am. It's weird."


	11. Chapter 12

**Contains bits of a spoiler for the latest and last episode for TWD. It's not much but still on the spoiling side.**

* * *

 **Nick) ur thoughts on jason burning ur house down and taking ur picture of ur mom**

"I hate him!" shouted Nick waving around the mask. "I hate that bastard! I hate him! I hate him! I. HATE. HIM!"

"You better give it back, Nick," said Sarita. "You never know what he'll take next."

"What part of I hate him don't you understand?" he rolled his eyes. "I will never do anything he wants because of what he did! Fuck that guy!"

"It's your ass, not ours," shrugged Clementine.

"Why didn't you ask Liara for help?" asked Lee. "Doesn't she have a ton of money? I'm sure she could pay for a couple of mercenaries."

"She hasn't answered her phone," he sighed. Nick had called Liara over a week ago and she was yet to get back to him. He knew that she was busy as the shadow broker and all, but she really couldn't give him a yes or no to the whole money situation via text or a quick phone call or voice message?

 **"Oh I'm taking your shit, AJ." Grabs his presents before running away speedily.**

"Good riddance!" said Rebecca.

 **Aj) Negan took ur shit.**

 **Beat his ass**

"N-no thanks," AJ looked back at his snarling mother.

 **Carver and Aj) It's time for father-son bonding time**

 **Locks them in a room**

 **Rebecca begins pounding on the door**

 **Rebecca: Unlock this door that's not his father!**

 **Me: No**

"So uh how are you?" Carver wasn't sure what to talk about with his son. He barely knew the kid.

"Uh my butt hurts," he said after a moment.

"WHAT?!"

"My mom beat my ass because I talked back to my dad," he pouted. "And he's not even my real father! How's that fair?"

"It isn't! I'll be damned if I let someone touch you!" he exclaimed. "You're my son!"

"Yeah!"

"As soon as I find a way outta here, I'm changing your name to WJ."

"Uh what? I thought your name was Carver!" He had always heard people refer to his father as Carver and never anything else. "What's with the 'w'?"

"My first name is actually William not Carver. That's your last name."

"So I'm William Carver Junior?" he asked. Once his father nodded AJ tapped his chin before saying, "I liked Carver Junior better since it means my nickname is CJ."

"Well that can your nickname then," It was better than his son being called AJ.

 **Clem) why did u call louis lois**

"Slip of the tongue," said Clem.

 **Damn i'm going to miss this when it's over**

 _I'll miss it too._

 **Tommy) Would you like to leave**

 **Tommy: HELL NO! I'm getting puss every hour I'm here**

 **Winks at Carley who blushes**

"Can we get rid of this asshole!" said Lee.

 **Lee) Your thoughts on Tommy banging all the women**

"He's a piece of shit!" said Lee. "How dare he!"

"We don't belong to you, jackass!" said Carley, crossing her arms. "Last time I checked, you don't have any rights to us."

"Yeah Lee." said Christa. "Unless we're married to you, we can all sleep with who we want."

 **AJ) she fought like a mofo but i got ur presents back**

"Tell the guest thank you," said his father. AJ nodded at his dad and took back his presents.

"Thanks!"

"Hey!" Rebecca glared at Carver as she stormed over. "He's not allowed to have those, you asshole! Last time I checked, you're not his father so you don't get to decide!"

"I do today!" he turned to his son. "Go knock yourself out, CJ."

"You mother fucker!" CJ ran off while his mother argued with Carver.

 **Crawls back here battered and bruised with a taser gun and shoots AJ with it. "Ha.." I weakly chuckled before passing out.**

 **A random person on set comes by to pick up the guest before anyone can do worse shit to her.**

"AJ! I mean CJ!" Clementine ran over to AJ's side and then cradled the boy in her arms. "What kind of sick monster does this to a kid?!"

"You're one to talk!" snapped Rebecca. "You're a terrible influence on my son!"

"I'm the reason why your son is alive, you bitch!" Clementine retorted. "Fuck off!"

 **I lead Rosie and Sam into the room**

 **Rosie Snarls and bites Gabe while Sam bites Duck**

"Get this crazy dog off me!" hollered Gabe as Rosie deepened her bite into Gabe's leg. "Call her off! Call her off!"

"Rosie, heel!" she shouted. Rosie let got but was quick to snap at Gabe before going back to Clementine. "I can't really help you Duck."

"Oh gee thanks!" he said sarcastically before punching Sam on the head. "Stupid dog! Let go!"

 **Grabs the taser from the floor**

 **"Oh Louis." I say, pointing it at him**

"Oh shit!" he took off running.

 **This looks fun**

 **Beats Louis with a pipe**

"What the hell is wrong with these people!" he said between hits.

"At least it isn't me," mumbled Nick.

 **Clem) Ur thoughts on Louis being the new Nick**

"You guys are assholes!" Clementine made gave the finger with her right hand.

"Remember where you are," said Luke. "EVERYONE is an asshole."

 **Clem) Lee tripped u while u were trying to protect louis**

"How could you!" Clementine turned to Lee, shocked to hear this.

"That's what he gets! Nobody protects an ass!"

"That's how you feel then? Fine. See if I protect you!"

 **Rebecca) AJ needs his gifts to protect himself from the crazy bitch who tazered him.**

 **Rebecca: We can protect him *Indicates her and Alvin***

 **YOU TWO? Rebecca you are always whoring around and Alvin**

 **Looks at him sweating while trying to put socks on**

 **I rest my case**

"He'd be dead with you idiots!" said Clementine laughing.

"Did you lose him?" Rebecca cut Clem's laugh short. "He almost died with you too plenty of times. You barely knew how to take care of him yourself!"

"I tried! And he's still alive isn't he?"

"Yeah but that mouth'll get him killed!"

As the two females went back and forth, Alvin was still trying to put on his socks.

Geez! Can we stop with the Louis torture? There's much more deserving assholes, like Clementine.

 **Clem: What for?**

 **Are you stupid or something? You're a bully! You're an irresponsible, rude, heartless, conniving bitch! If you were my kid, I'd send your dirty ass to juvie, you punk. A grounding won't fix your behavior!**

 **Lee, you're not off the hook either! I don't know why anybody would want a disturbing and sexist individual like you! These ladies are either desperate or have low self esteem to go anywhere near the bedroom with you. There's plenty of attractive and kind-hearted men and women here but no! They chose you! Bad boys and bad girls have an appeal, don't get me wrong, but the moment they cheat or mistreat you, what did you expect? I'm looking at all of you dumb women who're lusting after the scum Lee!**

 **Lastly, screw Tommy! I'm tired of this Gary Stu piece of crap popping up and having women drool over him. It wasn't sexy when it was done to Lee and still isn't sexy! STOP. IT. I bet that it's the same person who has a massive hard-on for Tommy that keeps spamming how hot Tommy is and how much ALL of the female cast loves him. For goodness sake, GO TAKE YOUR HARD-ON SOMEWHERE ELSE. It's getting old just like the Nick and Louis torture you maniacs keep writing up! My goodness!**

 **As much as I like this story, those are the only problems I have. I know it's the scumbag interviews. I'm just calling it how I see it. Plus people have talked shit to other characters, so I'm doing the same thing. Don't get your panties in a twist if you've ranted about the actions of a character in this series.**

 _When the roast is too real._

"Who the hell are you calling disturbing!?" Lee yelled. Someone in the room coughed.

"Yeah and who are you calling a bitch!?"

"The truth hurts doesn't it?" Luke smirked at her.

"Shut up! At least I'm still alive!"

"Oooooooh! Burn!" laughed Duck.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?! YOU'RE DEAD TOO!"

"Damn calm down!" said Gabe. "Duck didn't even say anything bad about you!"

"Where's your sister and step-mother, Gabe? Oh that's right! DECREASED!"

"Geez, cool it Clem!" spoke up Jane. "You're out of control!"

"YOU SHUT IT, YOU DEAD BITCH! Go do what you did at Howes, you snake!"

 **Everyone) shows them video of James fucking a walker**

"Creep!" CJ wrinkled his nose. He was glad Clementine didn't let James take him. He didn't want to be exposed to that nastiness. "You're disgusting!"

"T-that video's fake!" he claimed as his face paled.

"Nasty bastard!" Asher shook his head. "You really couldn't find a living person to touch you! Pathetic!"

"I think I'm going to vomit!" Lilly's covered her mouth. "Oh god really? You're sick!"

"Probably literally," Javier winced.

"He's probably immune," said Clementine. "Nasty fuck! And you almost took CJ because of how he acted! So being violent is dumb, but fucking walkers is okay?! No wonder you fought so hard to keep them alive! They were your fuck buddies!"

 **Abel) Pours gasoline down his throat and then shoves a lit match in his mouth**

Clementine laughs.

 **Scumabgs Its dinnertime!**

 **they all proceed to dig into the hamburgers.**

 **AJ: This is so fucking good**

 **Yeah, the St. John's made it and Hannibal helped.**

 **The season 1 crew look around alarmed**

 **Clem: Where's Louis and Rebecca?**

 **A door opens and Louis's top half and Rebecca's head falls out**

 **Everyone proceeds to scream**

 **Hannibal: I have Broccoli**

 **Kids: Scream in more terror**

Most of the cast either began vomiting, rubbing their tongue with their arm or sleeves, or screamed in terror.

 **Larry) Lucifer says ur contract is up**

 **Lucifer appears and grabs him**

 **They both poof away where Larry will face eternity in hell**

 **Lilly: No Dad! someone bring him back**

"NO." said Lee and Clementine.

"Nobody likes you or your mean dad," said Carley.

"Fuckers!" Lilly ran off.

 **Nick) Your mother practises prostitution in hell**

"Don't talk about my mom!" Nick raged.

 **"Javier) Demon hands spring out of the floor and drag him to the depths of hell**

"Someone hel…"

"NO." said Clementine.

 **A police officer walks in the room and goes up to Luke.**

 **Officer: What's your name**

 **Luke: Luke**

 **Officer: Did u just threaten me**

 **Luke; No?**

 **PO: He has a weapon**

 **Tases Luke**

 **PO: Don't resist arrest**

 **Beats Luke with the baton he carried**

 **PO: People like u make me sick**

 **Pepper sprays his eyes**

 **Cuffs Luke and drags him away**

"Hahahaha!" Clementine burst out laughing at Luke was dragged away. "That was gold! I just wish I had gotten a lick in."

"You are heartless!" Sarah shook her head at the younger female.

"And your father is dead, Sarah!"

"Like I said HEARTLESS!"

 **Lee) Spray him with pepper spray in the eyes**

"MY EYES!" he screamed as he covered up his eyes. "IT BURNS! WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!?"

"Fuck you!" said Clementine. "That's for tripping me!"

 **Stranger) May you, Carver and the st. john's burn in the depths of hell after this interview is over**

"I don't care," shrugged the man.

 **Clem) looks at James**

 **how are u able to sit next to this dick when his dick was in a walker's rotting asshole**

"He's disgusting!" Clementine wrinkled her nose as she looked the man up and down. "You need help, James."

"I'm telling you, it wasn't me," he didn't look her in the eyes. She was glad she didn't let James drag away CJ. Just thinking of James bringing in a walker to be with while around CJ made her sick to her stomach.

 **Ben are you related to shaggy from Scooby doo?**

"Uh no."

 **Lee I caught Clem and Louis making out in your bedroom! And Clemmy doesn't have a shirt on!**

"OH HELL NO!" Lee looked over at Louis. "Come here you fucker!"

"Oh sh-!" He was tackled by Lee.

"Hey get off of him!" Ed pulled on Lee's shoulder as he drew back his fist. Lee looked back him. " **I** should be the one to beat his ass!"

 **Hey Louis did Duck ever tell you the story of the time Clementine peed her pants?**

"Shut it, Duck!" she covered up his mouth before he spilled the beans.

 **Me: (presses an iron to Violet's face) Burn you double crosser Buuuurn!**

"What the hell!" she grabbed her face after screaming for a solid 5 minutes. "Oh! Fuck! What the hell! SHIT!"

 **Lee) Shows him a video of Gabe kissing Clem**

 **Lee pulls out a flame thrower and lights Gabe on fire.**

Gabe runs around screaming before his sister throws water on him. Meanwhile Lee is smacked him over the head with a chair by his father.

 **Snaps fingers and everyone who was dead is brought to life**

 **Brody and Marlon gulp**

 **That's right motherfuckers it's payback time**

 **Straps them to a table**

 **it's time to be waterboarded**

"What the hell! Get me off of this table!" yelled Brody.

Carver, Pimp, and Whore) It's time to find out whose child Whore's son is

Draws blood from CJ

After doing the test the father of CJ is... Bill Mary Carver

Wait, looks at the name again and burst out in laughter

That's his name, I feel so bad

"Bill Mary?!" exclaimed Rebecca. Everyone looked at each other before laughing. Carver's face reddened with embarrassment. He had been hoping that nobody would care about his real full name.

"Now I get the whole sheep thing a LOT better!" Clementine wiped a tear from her eye.

ebecca sign here please

Rebeccca does so

Laughs evilly

you just signed custody and guardianship of aj to clem

Rebecca shoots me in the gut with a .44

Falls over holding gut

"W-what the fuck?" she grunted. "I-I bet that b-bitch p-p-put you up to it."

"Nope, but I'm grateful!" she smirked at the woman. "That's what you get for not reading the paper!"

"Jokes on you, Clementine." Carver smirked as he looked at the paper. "This paper says Alvin Junior. CJ and I got his name changed to mine, so this is invalid!"

"WHAT?!"

 **Lee is showering in the prison when the soap falls and hits the floor, he proceeds to bend over to get it (I guess Lee is temporarily in the interviewing room when asked questions I guess)**

 **?: Surprise motherfucker**

 **Lee: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Clementine flinched in the interview room. Sarah stared at her. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. It's nothing."Savini Jason burst through the door of the interview room and glares at Nick

Nick) Hey u can't be here Tommy-

Realizing Tommy was gone he gulped

Jason begins strangling him until he passes out, and then steps on Nick's head, where nothing but a red streak is left and a few pieces of brain

Lee in this series is basically Hank Moody from Californication: a womanizing, alcohol drinking intellectual/maniac who somehow manages to mostly come out on top. I mean that in two different ways.  
Also, Clem still taught CJ to survive, even if he did grow up to be foul-mouthed as Hell. Besides, she's probably a far better influence than anyone in the cabin group would have been.

"Yeah," smirked Clem. "The most he'd learn is how to be a loser that lays on his back and doesn't know who the hell his baby mama is."

"Quiet you!" huffed Rebecca. "I know a great bit about survival thank you. How do you think I've made it so far?"

"By letting everyone else do the work while you suck dick for food."

"You little shit! At least I have BOTH of my legs!"

"Cunt!"

"Bitch!"

 **You didn't inconvenience me at all! In fact, I've been stuck as to where I should go with that story for a while. I'll keep it going some day, but not any time soon. Keep clicking away with this one!**  
 **Also, poor Lee. Guy really can't catch a break, can he? Y'know what, Lee? There's a bar Clem and Jason owned. Free drinks and snacks on me any time you go there.**

"Damn, thanks man!" grinned Lee. "With how shit has been going as of late, I could use a drink or two."

 **Conrad) Ur one of my favorite characters**

"I'm glad to hear it!" Conrad grinned. "I don't hear it that often."

 **Clem) I sided with conrad**

"Why?!"

 **To the bitch who shot omid) I hope u died slowly**

"I did," she sighed looking nervously at Christa. (she has a canon name but I'm too lazy to look it up)

 **Javier is going through the fridge and spots a sandwich with the words "This belongs to Clementine, anyone else who takes it will die!" Javier scoffs and takes off the note.**

 **He freezes when he hears a growling noise behind him and turns to see Clementine holding Rosie's chain**

 **Clem: You were warned**

 **She lets go of the chain, and Rosie bites Javier's balls, causing the man to scream, before a ripping noise is heard.**

 **Rosie moves away from Javier, and we see where his balls and dick were there is nothing but a red hole gushing blood**

"I told you!" Clementine smacked him with her crutch. "Thief! Go make your own sandwiches!"

 **Can u state how old all the scumbag kids are**

 _I guess the same age as AJ which is about 6. In order it's CJ/AJ, Kimberly, Alice, Danni, Rachel, Kaidan, and Troy._

 **Snaps fingers and Jamie is 10**

 **Unfortunately for Kenny, he was a complete mama's boy**

 **Jane smirked at her ex as she rocked her sleeping son in her arms, flipping Kenny of behind Jamie's back**

"That fuckin' bitch," Kenny glared at his ex-wife. "You too, guest! Don't no woman want a little mama's boy!"

"You might wanna watch you say, Kenny." Lee looked around nervously.

"I don't give a fuck! Bring it on!"

 **Rebecca opens her eyes to see that she was in a unfamiliar place**

 **"Hey Whore!" she looked up to see Freddy Krueger staring at her**

 **He gives her an evil smile**

 **"Welcome to my world bitch" he lunges at her with his glove**

Rebecca slapped him upside the head after dodging his attack. "Come at me again, lookin' like a cookie someone left in the oven for too long."

* * *

 ** _Go ahead and review as you wish. Once again, I'm putting this out because I haven't updated in a while. I have most of page 4 plus 3 full pages to do left. So I'm going to put this out and work on those 4 pages. Feel free to review though. ^^_**


	12. Chapter 13

**The janitor walks into the room and spots Nick's corpse**  
 **He storms off swearing, determined to not come back this time**

 **Clem's parents) Tell clem about her brother u gave up for adoption***

"I have a brother?" Clementine stared at her parents. "I never saw a belly on my mom."

Diana nodded. "He was born way before you were, Clemmy. We gave him up because we couldn't afford to keep him. Your father, at the time, was out of work because his company went out of business during our mid-pregnancy, prices went up, and I wasn't working. By the time things got better for us, that was when we decided to have another baby."

"I see. What ever happened to him? Do you know what happened to him?"

"No. Once we gave him up, we hadn't heard about him. I've always been curious though."

"I see. I hope he was doing good. It would've been cool to have an older sibling."

 **Rebecca) Don't touch AJ or Clem Bitch! swings at her but she dodges and hits me in the back of the head with a lead pipe**

"Don't mess with me OR how I teach my kid!" said Rebecca before giving the guest a swift kick in the stomach. "Not you and not that little brat Clementine!"

 **Oh yeah about the monkeys) Looks outside to see Micheal Myers burning their corpses, before looking up and glaring at me**

 **You need new security**

"What he's here?!" said Asher. "How?!"

"Forget that, he hurt those poor monkeys!" said Talia.

"Are you serious right now?" Asher rolled his eyes. "A maniac is here to massacre us! Forget about the monkeys!"

 **Mark) why are you crying**

"I-I wasn't crying," he lied. "I was just around some onions. Yeah..."

"Translation, Lilly's scary and having her attention him scared him more," said Duck.

 **Clem's parents jump on Rebecca and begin beating the hell out of her**

 **Ed: Don't touch our daughter bitch**

"Nobody messes with our daughter and gets away with it!" Diana punched Rebecca in the gut.

 **Carlos) Sarah isn't carrying Nick's kid**

 **Carlos sighs in relief**

 **she's carrying three of Nick's kids**

Carlos screamed in terror before fainting. Clementine "tsked" before tossing a glass full of ice water onto the man's face. Even that wasn't enough to wake the man up. "Damn, he must really be upset."

 **Hey Jane- walks into her room Oh...**

 **Jane and Bonnie are covering and untangling themselves from the other while reaching for clothes**

"I-I-it's n-not what I-I-it l-looks like!" A reddened Bonnie stuttered as she reached for a bra while Jane was already shoving herself into her jacket. "We were uh...what are you doing anyways?! You should learn to knock!"

 **Kenny, Sarah, Luke and Carley) Kaidan and Kimberly have decided to get married, or once they hit 18 they will, idk their age**

"They're just children," shrugged Kenny. "I doubt they'll actually do it."

"How cute," smiled Carley.

"I'm with Kenny on this one," agreed Luke. "It'll pass. At least I hope."

"What do you mean 'hope'," Kenny glared at Luke. "Your brat should be glad my daughter likes him."

"Don't call my kid a brat, Kenny!" Luke poked Kenny. "If anything, your kid has a better chance of becoming a brat than my kid seeing as you act like one!"

"Me?!"

"Yeah you!"

"I'd rather my daughter be a brat than a little bitch!"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Do I have to spell it for you? YOU'RE A BITCH."

"And you're a dick!"

"Them's fightin' words boy!"

"It's on like Donkey Kong, you old fart!" The two men then engaged into a fist fight with everyone watching on the sidelines. Jane, Lee, Carver, the cabin group, Jane, and Luke's kids cheered on Luke while Clem, Duck, and Kimberly cheered on Kenny. Everyone else just watched or begged someone to intervene. The fight finally ended when Luke broke a chair over Kenny's head.

 **Nick! You don't know where that shitty mask gone through so you might need multiple tetanus shots now... please don't throw shit at me."**

 ***brings Nick alive***

"Shit I hadn't thought about that," Nick began looking nervous. "I haven't gotten sick yet so maybe I'm fine...I hope."

"Nick, you should still go," said Christa. "Just because you don't feel anything, that doesn't mean it's not in your system."

 **2) "Clem, I'd give you half if you help me find my stuff- Wait, JAVIER!? THOSE ARE MINE! COME BACK HERE YOU SON OF A WHORE! WHOEVER GETS HIM FOR ME GETS HALF OF MY DIAMONDS AND GEMSTONES!"**

"How'd he get out of Hell?" asked Duck.

"Fuck it! LET'S GET 'EM!" Asher shouted pointing at the thief.

Everyone shouted as they took off running after the man. It didn't take too long before everyone caught up to him and doggy piled on top of him.

 **"To whoever got my stuff from that turd, here's half for you."**

"I'll take it thank you!" Clementine held out her hand only for Jane to slap it down. "What the hell?"

"You know good and well you didn't catch him," Jane shook her head. "We all know it was me."

"Bullshit. It was me! I touched him first." said Asher.

"Yeah. Right on the ass like a perv!" said Mira. "Unlike you, Javier isn't a perv for man booty."

"Actually..." Javier, who was in handcuffs, was slapped upside the head by Nate.

"Shut up, thief! Nobody cares what you like up your ass!"

"What? I didn't...ow!"

"I said shut up! Anyways, I think I deserve half of those gems!" Nate gestured to himself. "I'm the one who had the most trouble. Do you know how hard it was to put this fucker in handcuffs?"

"She said whoever catches him!" pointed out Molly. "I'm the one who tackled him first!"

"Bull! It was me," said Nate.

Everyone then began arguing among themselves about who was the one who deserved the gemstones. Meanwhile a mysterious figure tiptoed away from the scumbags with the gemstones and diamonds inside of a treasure chest. They were laughing maniacally under their breath as they slipped out of the door as they thought of what to do with their newfound wealth.

 **"The DNA results are here for Alvin. Jr... William Mary-Anne Carver, you're NOT the father!"**

"Uh what?" Carver's face dropped. "B-but...!"

"Ha!" Alvin laughed in the man's face. "That means I'm the father! Now change we're going to change his name back, sucker!"

 **"And Alvin, you are NOT the father!"**

"Wait WHAT?!" Alvin stared in disbelief at his wife. "Y-y-you...you really slept with someone else? Who else did you sleep with?!"

"I swear you two are the only ones I slept with!" claimed Rebecca. "She's a damn liar!"

"That's what you said to me the first time, but last time you just said it was me! You fucking whore!"

"Don't call me a whore Alvin James Smith!" She said poking him with every word. "You know what? That's the kind of attitude that made me sleep with Bill!"

"And every other man there," Clementine whispered to Sarah who nodded.

"I heard that!" she snarled at Clementine.

 **"Carlos, YOU are the father!"**

"WHAT?!" Everyone screamed.

"Does that mean I have an uncle?" Kaidan looked up his mom.

"Y-yeah." Sarah looked at CJ. "Well I guess I'm your big sister."

"So that makes me Carlos Junior now then," said CJ tapping his chin. "I guess Carlos is a good name."

"I can't believe you slept with Carlos!" Alvin yelled at his wife. "What the hell! No wonder you were always around him! You were probably still fucking him when you were pregnant! I fucking hate you, you cheating, lying cunt!"

 **"Rebecca, you disloyal hoe... OOF!"**

"Don't call me a hoe and you!" she turned to her husband. "Don't you ever call me a cunt! You know what? I did fuck Carlos and guess what. It was hot!"

Rebecca then proceeded to go into graphic detail about Carlos's penis, what sexual positions they did, the locations where they had sex, and what they used during sex. The children had to be dragged out of the room and even some of the adults had to leave. A lot of the scumbags were feeling very uncomfortable hearing of Carlos and Rebecca's sexual escapades. Once she was finished, the room was silent.

"What the fuck?!" Sarah yelled breaking the silence.

 **"Lee and Jane, how is married life together?"**

"It's fine. She won't have sex with me for some reason." he glared at Jane.

"I don't have to," said Jane. "That's what your hand is for."

"Bitch."

 **"Duck, you're the biological son of... no one."**

"What?" Duck blinked.

 **"Hey, where's James? He's not here to... what the hell? IS THAT A-"**  
 **"... Please call an ambulance... James may have crippled me... argh..."**

"Stay outta my room!" he slammed his bedroom door.

 **Carlos) I'd say look at the pregnancy test to prove it but your dumbass probably doesn't know how to use it, let alone a fucking thermometer.**

"I know how a woman would use a pregnancy test, smartass," Carlos crossed his arms. "As well as a thermometer."

 **Kaidan) How do you feel knowing ur mom is carrying nick's children**

"He's a loser!" said Kaidan. "Why would you have that fraud's baby?"

 **Snaps fingers and Carley's pregnant with Doug's kid.**

 **No more kids after this! After the pregnancies are done you're all getting vasectomies and tubes tied.**

 **Lee stares at Carley with narrowed eyes**

 **Lee: accidents can always happen. He mutters loud enough where everyone hears him**

"Are you threatening me?!" said an outraged Carley. "You're an asshole!"

"And you're carrying that creature's baby!" shouted Lee. "How could you!"

"I didn't exactly have a say in it!"

"Heh heh!" Doug chuckled. "How does it feel Alvin #2? Hahahahaha!"

"Fuck you! At least I fucked her! AHAHAHA!" Doug didn't have a word to say about that.

 **Jamie) Your mother or father choose!**

"My mother, duh." Jamie grinned. "My mom's cooler than my old fart of a deadbeat dad."

"WHAT." Kenny glared at Jane as she burst out laughing at Kenny's shocked expression. "How am I a deadbeat? Did that mother of yours tell you to say that! Fuck her!"

 **Jamie and Duck) It's brother-brother bonding time**

 **Go do what teen and pre-teen boys do together**

 **like the park or water park**

"I guess we can go to the waterpark," said Duck. "That might be fun."

"But I don't know how to swim!" said Jamie.

"It's cool. I'll teach you." offered his older brother. "Dad taught me when I was about 6."

 **Javier is going through the fridge and spots a sandwich with the words "This belongs to Clementine, anyone else who takes it will die!" Javier scoffs and takes off the note.**

 **He freezes when he hears a growling noise behind him and turns to see Clementine holding Rosie's chain**

 **Clem: You were warned**

 **She lets go of the chain, and Rosie bites Javier's balls, causing the man to scream, before a ripping noise is heard.**

 **Rosie moves away from Javier, and we see where his balls and dick were there is nothing but a red hole gushing blood**

"You fucking thief!" she beat Javier with one of her crutches. "I told you not to fuck with me or my food!"

 **Lee) NO FUCK YOU! Rams a knife through the bottom of his jaw FUCK YOU! TALK SHIT AGAIN I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU!**

"He can't exactly talk now, can he?" Christa rolled her eyes.

 **If AJ, Tenn and Willy were older I bet they'd be shipped together**

"Ew gross!" CJ made a face. "That's gross! Tenn's my friend. I don't like him like that. And Willy's icky."

"I'm not interested in guys," Tenn said. "Even if I was, those are the last two I would pick. No offense."

"I'm with CJ and Tenn," said Willy. "I like girls. I wouldn't be with a dude if you paid me."

 **Castrates Lee**

"Geez, you really hate Lee," said Carley disturbed. "I mean he's a dick but..."

 **Alvin is running before he falls and a machete impales itself in the wall in front of him**

 **Carlos: You can't run forever Alvin!**

"Get away from me you psychos!" screamed Alvin. He then slapped his hand over his mouth upon realizing that was rather stupid since he just gave away his location.

 **Brody) Can't do anything worse than you huh? Guess what?**

 **Louis you're no longer the new Nick**

 **Brody is now the new Nick**

 **Get her!**

"You fucker!" Brody began shaking out of fear knowing just what they did to Louis. Meanwhile he sighed with relief that he was no longer the new Nick.

 **Alvin hears a battle cry and ducks, right before a machete is slammed into the wall where his head was**

 **Thomas, Carlos and Carver: Get back here you fat fuck!**

"Leave me alone you crazy fucks!" Alvin yelled feeling like sobbing.

 **Clem) Rebecca ratted Lee out to the cops**

"You bitch!" She punched Rebecca in the face. "Asshole!"

 **Alvin) Sees him in a wheelchair glaring at Clem's parents**

 **Your thoughts on them kicking ur as**

 **Alvin glares at them and says something that, even with scumbag setting on, is censored.**

 **Even Hardened people like Lee and Clem and Kenny's mouth drop, women blush and the scumbag kids laugh**

 **Rebecca: ALVIN! She's blushing**

"What? That's how I feel!" Alvin snapped. "Those motherfuckers beat the shit outta me."

"Watch your mouth!" said Rebecca after getting over the shock. "Geez. Even I've never heard anything like that from your mouth!"

 **Louis) Changed my mind your the new nick too**

"Shit," he threw up his arms. "I should've known."

 **Everyone) Normal Doug vs Scumbag Doug who do you like more**

"Scumbag," said Asher. "The normal Doug was trash. No offense, Doug."

"None taken," smirked Doug. "I've seen my old self and I never wanna go back. I've finally got the balls to punch Lee and anybody else who fucks with me. It's damn great!"

"Normal Doug," Clementine glared at him. "Doug was nice. This one is a dickhead!"

"And the dickhead whooped your ass!" said Doug smirking. This earned a metal pipe upside his head while he laughed.

"Laugh at my daughter's pain or touch her and it'll be worse for ya!" he hit Doug's back. "You piece of filth!"

 **Jenny Myers from the Friday the 13th game walks in the room wearing nothing but a bikini and sits on Lee's lap**

 **"You don't need Jane Lee, you got me and my cousin, Tiffany Cox." She whispered in his ear "You don't need a condom" Tiffany Cox walks in the room wearing a bikini too**

 **"We're virgins," she whispers**

 **"And 23." Jenny added**

"WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lee, who was unconscious on the floor, sprang up and started dancing like a fool. "YEAH BABY! FUCK YEAH MY WOOOOOOOOOOOO! HELL FUCKIN' YEAH! BABY OH FUCK!"

"What the hell is wrong with him?" asked Violet to Clementine.

"He's happy. Trust me."

"Calm down!" Jane grabbed him by his ear in the middle of dancing. "You're married, dick!"

"Go to court and get the papers, ho!" he giggled as he ran to the two women. Jane rolled her eyes and allowed him to go off with the two women. She could just find someone else.

 **Lee Grins at the words the girls said**

 **"What are we waiting for?!" the three hurry into a room.**

 **Soon screaming and moaning are heard, and something hitting the wall**

This was an inconvenience to anybody wanting to head to the nearest bathroom as the room was right next it. Why they chose that room and not somewhere far away from the interviewing room, nobody knew. As a matter of fact, as soon as it got quiet, one could just barely hear the noises they were making.

 **Carlos) and to prove Sarah and Nick fucked... Shows him a 4-hour video, where Nick and Sarah try every position possible.**

 **Unknown to Carlos there's a curse on the video, which makes it impossible to turn the channel or switch it off.**

 **He had to watch the whole thing**

"How do you turn this shit off!" Carlos frantically began pressing the power button on the tv. unfortunately for him, he couldn't turn it off. When he found out the volume and channel changing buttons didn't work, he tried blocking his ears with his fingers. However the tv was much too loud to block out.

 **We cut to Lee**

 **Damn no wonder Nick stayed with Lee, Lee can deepthroat like hell**

"Uh huh?" Clementine blinked in confusion. "Wait I thought those were girls!"

"Asher might be into it," smirked Mira.

"Shut up, Mira." Asher glared at her.

 **The lights go out and Rebecca screams**

 **The lights come on and Rebecca is on the floor... without a head**

 **Yeah, I accidentally let loose the slashers from the island, They left a note saying all scumbag kids won't be killed, and CJ won't be killed either.**

 **Everyone else, you're basically fucked**

 **Oh and Micheal invited carrie over too**

Everyone screams in terror.

"Everyone block the doors!" shouted Asher. Everyone did as they were told and moved everything. The tables were piled up near the doors along side the chairs. After that was done, everyone huddled together like a bunch of frightened sheep.

"Get your elbow out of my back," Jane said as she clutched her son closer to her chest.

"Sorry!" apologized Ben.

"I gotta pee!" said CJ. He tried to get out of the crowd of people but found himself stuck. Even his small size couldn't enable him to slip through the tall legs of the adults and teenagers surrounding him. He was tempted to just pee on the spot but that could go one of two ways. Someone would yell at him, not caring how badly he had to pee. The other way ended in him being made fun of by everyone there and he didn't need that haunting him.

"Mind getting off my foot, Nick?" asked Luke. "What the hell are you wearing? Steel boots? You're about to break my fucking foot!"

"Sorry!" Nick shifted backwards and stepped on Ben's foot.

"Hey, now you're on my foot!" Ben elbowed him.

"I can't help it! I'm in a tight space! Everyone move over some!" he shouted only to be ignored as everyone continued to agrue about each other being being in their personal space.

"Rodrik, get rid of your sword," said Becca. "It's on my leg."

"The very same thing I use to slay my enemies? No way." Rodrilk clutched the hilt of his sword. "Bare with it for a moment more."

 **Me: (pours anti love potion on Clem and Violet)**

 _Now they're out of love._

 **Lee I paid your bail you owe me one.**

"About time," grinned Lee. "Now I can be here full time!"

 **Me: (throws a boogie bomb into the room) DANCE SCUMBAGS DANCE!**

"Shit!" Clementine automatically falls over on Ben who falls onto Bigby. Strangely he doesn't fall over.

Meanwhile everyone else is somehow dancing in the tight space they're occupying while Ben and Clementine can only hope and pray they don't get stepped on. It took only 4 minutes before everyone ended up tripping over each other and falling down in a huge scumbag pile. Everyone groaned in pain from the weight of each other on top of them.

"Did someone just piss?!" Becca exclaimed from somewhere deep under the pile up.

CJ thought about apologizing only to shut his mouth. Nobody could know it was him. He'd just leave them wondering for as long as he could.

"I bet it was that cripple Clementine!" someone said with a fake deep voice.

"WHO SAID THAT?!" she yelled.

"Yeah who said that so I can beat their ass!" said Lee.

"Don't talk about my baby, you bastard!" yelled Ed.

 **Norman Bates: (stabs Rebecca in the back then turns to Alvin) Now we can be together forever my love!**

 **Alvin: (shrugs) I'm cool with this.**

Someone threw a boot at Norman's head and somehow knocked him out. "Gotcha!" said Nick.

 **Ed, Diana. That Wasn't Doug. That Was Alvin**  
 **That's Doug (Points to Troy)**

"We know that's not Doug," said Diana gesturing to Doug who was laying far off on the floor, still unconscious.

"He put his hands on her before," said Kenny smirking. He hadn't forgotten how he hurt Clementine or his ex-girlfriend, Sarita.

"Oh really?" Ed gave the frightened young man an evil grin as he smacked his fist into his palm. "Thanks for notifying me, Kenny."

 **Hey Lee! shows him a video of Louis and Clementine kissing**

"Come here!" Lee chases after Louis while Ed is beating up Troy.

 **Looks at Shel and Vernon's corpses. Shel's right side was missing all muscle and skin, while Vernon's throat was missing and half his skull was crushed in.**

 **Damn that looked painful**

 _I bet it did. Nobody held back at all._

 **Gabe) Ties him up**

 **I hate you, so I'm putting you in my trunk, taking you to the coast and sacrificing you to Poseidon**

 **Drives off to coast with Gabe in trunk**

"Come back here with my son, asshole!" his father shouted, tempted to chase after his son on foot. Javier soon pulled up beside him on a motorcycle.

"Hop on!" he yelled.

Meanwhile Duck was sighing with relief.

 **So pompusrumps did you play the final episode of season 4?**

 _I watched it. I wanted to wait until the entire season was finished to purchase it._

 **Everyone, including pompus) Your thoughts on Tenn's death**

 _I damn near cried. Tenn was the sweetest character ever and a good friend for AJ so seeing him die hurt. I'm glad Louis lived, but it wasn't worth Tenn though. AJ gave up a friendship for Clem. You can tell that hurt him too._

CJ hesitated. "I really didn't want to do it, but I had to for Clem."

"Tenn was nice," said Clementine. "I liked seeing CJ having his own buddy his age. If there was a way to save Tenn, I would've done it for CJ."

"He needed to be with his family," said Minerva. "If he was with her, he'd be dead too!"

"You bitch!" Clementine glared at the blonde. "YOU were part of the reason why he died, you cunt! If I wasn't on these crutches, I'd kill you!"

"You couldn't kill me if you tried."

"I didn't think AJ would do it," Violet rubbed the back of her neck. "Sometimes I wish it was me instead. Tenn didn't deserve to die."

 **I was so distressed when Clem got bit**

 _I was too._

 **Carlos) Shows him the bite on Clem's leg**

 **That's a walker bite dumbass**

"I know what a bite looks like," he rolled his eyes.

"I don't think you do!" Clementine glared at the doctor. She was still angry at the time where Carlos didn't know her dog bite from a walker's. Just thinking about it made her want to hurt him.

 **James) Fuck you for trying to kidnap AJ and fighting Clementine**

"I don't regret it," said James. "Did you not see how he acted? He's a complete nutcase and **she** was the cause of that! She egged him on and he was only going to get worse! I could be a better parent!"

"You fuck zombies!" said Clementine. "Shut yo ass up!"

"You don't put your hands on a lady," Kenny shoved James. "I oughta whoop your ass!"

"Ahem!" coughed Jane.

"You don't count!" Kenny called back to her. "You put AJ in danger!"

"For good reason!" said Jane.

"I guess you killed yourself for a good reason too!" retorted Kenny.

"Damn Kenny!" said Lee.

 **Clem) That fight with Minerva was awesome**

"I hated that fight," growled Clementine. "Fucking bitch got me good."

 **Minerva) I wish we could have shot you instead of just staring**

"Too late now," she smirked.

"No it isn't," Clementine mumbled.

 **Violet, Louis and Tenn) Your thoughts on ur possible deaths**

"At least Tenn lived," said Violet. "Still, it doesn't exactly feel great getting your throat torn out my a bunch of rotten bastards." She looked over at CJ and Clementine. "You two better take care of Tenn. He's important to me too."

"Don't worry," assured CJ. "We'll take good care of him."

"And we'll whip his ass into a proper scumbag in no time!" grinned Clementine as she gave the older female a thumbs up. Violet groaned.

"He's fucked isn't he?" she sighed.

"Fuck you too, bitch!" CJ and Clementine said in unison.

"I'm with Violet," said Louis. "I'm glad he's okay but being bitten is shitty."

"And choking to death on your own blood sucks," said Tenn wincing.

 **Everyone, especially Lee) Your thoughts on Clem being bit**

"It wouldn't have happened with me!" said Thomas.

"Yeah she would've just ended going missing like your kid!" Lee retorted.

"Watch it, asshole!" yelled Thomas. "Don't talk about my boy like that!

"I'll do what I want, you kidnapper!" he snapped. "Anyways, I was mad as fuck when I saw Clem was bitten. When she lived, I was happy for her. Do you really think I wanted to see her die?"

"I'm glad she made it," said Diana. "It broke my heart seeing that she might end up like us."

"But thank god that kid, CJ, was able to save her," finished her father.

"Clem may be a bitch, but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy," said Nick.

"I knew she was gonna make it!" said Kenny proudly. "That girl's tough like me."

"Bitch when?" Jane laughed.

"I got my eye smashed and I kept it moving, that's when BITCH."

"Asshole," she huffed before clearing her throat. "I really thought her luck had run out. She's lucky AJ was there. I would've killed her."

"Yeah luckily," Clementine mumbled under her breath.

 **Everyone) Thoughts on the ending of episode 4**

"Better than season 1," mumbled Lee. "They killed the most badass character off! How could they!"

"You're only saying that because it's not you," Christa rolled her eyes. "It was decent. Clementine made it and I'm happy about it."

"It was cool!" said Clementine. "I outlived everyone! Uh no offense to everyone except Bonnie and Arvo, you assholes. The only thing I hated was losing my leg."

"It was that or your life," said CJ.

"I know and thank you, goofball," she kissed his forehead.

"My kid's alive, so that's good enough for me," said Rebecca.

"It's shitty I didn't make it to the end," said Omid. "Did they really have to write me off? I really can't understand it."

"It was a happy ending so there's not too much to complain about," said Molly. "Still, I wouldn't have minded showing up."

"I was wrong about her luck ending someday," said Jane. "Clementine's lucky as fuck she made it with a small child helping her."

 **Steals Clem's crutches as she's standing, and have her fall in a wheelchair**

 **I now pronounce you royalty, puts 38k gold crown on her head**

 **And here's the best part, Nick's your slave**

 **Clem: Slave massage my shoulders**

 **Nick does so at gunpoint**

 **Clem: Massage my feet**

 **Nick does so vowing revenge**

 **Clem: I want you to suck off luke in front of everyone**

"Uh what?!" Luke stared at the teenager. "I'm not letting him do that!"

"And I don't wanna do it to him!" Nick blushed. "Pick someone else!"

"Do you have to do this here?" Talia shifted around uncomfortably. "There are children here and not all of us want to see that."

"I bet Asher does," Mira laughed as she nudged her older brother. "Hey, pick Asher instead! I'd..."

"No!" Asher shoved his sister's shoulder.

"Do it or I'll beat you!" Clementine demanded the man.

"Fuck you! You can't even run anymore, asshole!" he told her. "Screw off!"

 **Attaches robot leg to clem's stump**

 **Be careful the leg is a little glitchy**

 **Clem: Glitchy ho-**

 **The leg shoots up and hits Lee so hard in the crotch his balls explode**

"Oh my god! Lee are you alright?!" Clementine asked the man as he curled up on the floor in agony. "Someone call the ambulance!"

 **I think Lily cares about Clementine in her own sick twisted way. The way she looks if u tell her you'll kill her next time you meet kinda confirms it for me.**

 _Judging by the first episode she appeared in, she does. Even though she doesn't have that Lee/Clem bond, she does care about her. Still, why let this bitch go? Clementine should've automatically killed her. I wouldn't say the feeling would be mutual with Clementine seeing how dirty Lilly was to Clem, AJ, Louis, and everyone else. Seriously if I was Clementine and she cut out my boyfriend's tongue, it's beef on site._

 **Nick)Gives him a Tablet and everyone can see Savini Jason on the screen with a picture of 10-year-old nick being held by his mom.**

 **Jason makes circular motions around the picture, and even though we can't see his face, everyone knows he's smirking by his body language.**

 **Jason takes out a lighter and burns the picture until nothing but ashes remain**

Nick lets out a scream as the last picture he has of his mother is burned in front of him. Everyone stares at Nick as he continues to scream long after Jason burned the photo. After he had screamed his throat raw, he threw down the tablet, smashing it into tiny pieces.

"That motherfucker!" he yelled in his raspy voice. "I'll kill him!"

"Dude, what's going on?" asked Luke.

"That fucker burned the picture of my mom and me!" he dropped to the ground and began pounding his fist against it. "I'll kill him I swear!"

 ***A random guy runs in with what appears to be a 10 pound cake, ties up Jane, and forces her to eat the entire thing until her stomach is about the size of a beachball.***

 **Kenny: HAHAHAHAHA! That's what you get!**

"You're lucky I can't hit you right now," groaned Jane.

 **Minerva I now crown you Queen of the walkers! (puts a crown on her head) The dead shall answer to you now! Go fourth and get revenge on everyone! And if you run into Arvo eat his face for me.**

"With ple-" Minnie was kicked in the face by Clementine's biotic leg. The kick was so powerful, it created a crater in the wall where Minnie landed.

"That's for being a bitch!" she yelled.

 **Kenny! (Shaves a chunk of his beard and chin off)**

"Fuck!" Kenny held his bleeding chin. "What the fuck is wrong with you! Gah! Fuck! Shit!"

Jane laughed as the man's family began worrying over the man's injury. Normally Kenny would snap at her for laughing at his pain, but he was too busy **being** in pain.

 **Cj after seeing you roast Clem in episode 4 I'm gonna call you Roast Master from now on!**

CJ grinned and bowed causing Clementine to glare at the little boy.

 **CJ) Looks at Luke**

 **Little Manwhore bitch**

 **Rebecca: AJ!**

 **CJ: It's CJ Cunt!**

"You little shit!" Rebecca started for her son only to be stopped by Clementine stepping in the way. She mumbled under her breath and stormed off.

 **Javier) your new name is dickless the clown**

"Asshole," Javier grumbled under his breath.

 **Lee) since you like making fun of Doug and Alvin**

 **Snaps fingers and Lee weighs 680 pounds**

"What the...?!" Lee looked down at his large body. Upon the transformation, Lee's clothes torn off of him the moment he gained all of the weight. A soon as it happened, most of the cast were very quick to display disgust at his naked body exposed to them.

"Ew put some clothes on, perv!" said Mira.

"I can't help it!" Lee called back as he tried in vain to cover up his nude body.

Meanwhile Alvin and Doug laughed at Lee. It was about time Lee had a taste of his own medicine. After Lee had left, disregarding how dangerous it was to leave, Alvin and Doug started plotting on what kind of fat jokes to throw in Lee's face. After all, he had made plenty of the two of them.

 **Changes Letter to Cj's new name**

 **CJ You now live with Clementine and Violet**

"Violet doesn't live with me though," said Clementine.

 **Clem) You don't have to pick between Violet or Louis you can have them both**

 **Louis: I'm down for it**

"Yeah, I don't think so," Clementine winced. "I've seen Lilly and Carley fight over Lee and it wasn't pretty."

 **Louis) You can stop the torture on two conditions**

 **One you suck off James or two you have an orgy with James and a walker**

 **Louis notices James leading a big fat zombie to his room**

"It's an easy pick," said Clementine.

"How?! I don't like men!" said Louis. "I don't wanna suck his dick!"

"So you would rather get tortured then?" Violet said. "I don't even like men like that and I'd do it if I was being treated like you."

"Fine," he groaned. "Hey James! Wait up!"

 **Aasim) People ship you with Louis**

"That's uh interesting," said Aasim. "Why?"

 **Everyone) Carlos was a doctor**

 **Shows them a video as Carlos looks smug.**

 **In the video, a young woman is sitting in a chair, while Carlos stood over her**

 **Carlos: Let's discuss payment**

 **Kenny: Kids get the fuck out**

 **Clem drags AJ away as Carlos and the girl start stripping and porn music plays**

"Oh damn!" Lee stared at the screen. "I guess he wasn't technically lying."

"My eyes!" Sarah placed her hands over her eyes. "They're burning!"

"Turn that nonsense off!" said an embarrassed Carlos. "That isn't me!"

"It sure looks like you," Jane stared at the Carlos in shock. As uptight as the man was, she couldn't have ever imagine Carlos was a porn star once upon a time. "I didn't know you were a porn star. How many movies did you do?"

"None!"

"This is...this is uh wow," Luke rubbed the back of his neck, not sure how to feel. "I don't even know what to say right now. I didn't think you were ever like this."

"I wasn't!" he insisted. "I am a licensed doctor!"

"I'd believe it," Bonnie chuckled. "You sure are checking out that girl."

"You shut it!" Carlos snapped at the red head. This film was never meant to be seen by the scumbag crew.

"Looks we have another celebrity, eh Magic Mike?" Christa teased her boyfriend, nudging him in his side.

"Stop bringing that up!," groaned Omid.

 **Freddy glares at Rebecca and slams her against the wall**

 **Freddy: Do you know who I am Cunt?! I AM FREDRICK *He stabs Rebecca in the gut* FUCKING *He stabs her in the chest this time* KRUEGER! *He decapitates her***

 **Freddy: AND YOUR SOUL IS MINE FOREVER!**

 _Well RIP Rebecca._

 **Marries Violet and Clementine, marries Louis and Mitch**

 **Looks over to see Gabe and Gill having teamed up and were dragging Duck to the bedroom.**

 **A minute later a pantsless and shirtless Gabe puts a do now disturb sign on the door.**

 **Dave: You better not bottom Gabe**

"Should you really be telling your son that?" Javier asked his brother.

"Mind your own business!"

"Who said you can marry my boyfriend!" Clementine had put Mitch in a headlock. "You homewrecker!"

"Lemme go!" he clawed at her arm. She may not look that strong, but it was like she had the strength of the Hulk. "It's not my fault! I don't even want Louis!"

"I'm fine with this," said Violet.

"I'm not. I'm not sucking off another dude!" protested Louis.

 **Locks Lee and Tommy in a room to see if hot gay sex will occur**

"It won't," Lee glared at Tommy. "Stupid woman stealing piece of shit."

"Don't get angry because women like me more," responded Tommy. "Besides, maybe it's not just my looks. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm not a cheater!"

"I...well fuck." He really didn't want to admit that was a good reason, even to himself.

 **Larry) How do you feel knowing Lily is carrying Abel's child**

"Who?" Larry responded. How was he suppose to know who that was.

 **Me: THIS IS SPARTA! (Kicks Clementine down a flight of stairs)**

"You biiiiiiiiiitch!" she hollered as she flew down the stairs. Once she landed, she groaned and thanked God that she was okay. What happened to the old days when she wasn't having this done to her?

 **Liara runs into the interview room with money**

 **Liara: Nick here's you-**

 **spotting Nick's corpse she drops a couple of dollars then runs away**

"Glad I got out when I could," she thought as she continued to run.

 **Lee: (opens a closet and Tommy as a walker lunges at him)**

 **Lee: What the shit!? (Stabs him in the head)**

 **James: Hey not cool! He was gonna be my sex slave!**

 **Everyone: O_O**

"You nasty bastard!" said Clementine, breaking the silence.

"I thought you weren't fucking walkers," said Molly.

"Uh oh y-yeah," James quickly left the room again. He then came back into the room. "Fuck it. I am fucking walkers and if you kill anymore walkers, I'll kill you all!"

"Go eat a rice cracker!" said Kenny. *****

"Kenny!" Sarita nudged her ex-boyfriend.

"Go fuck yo mama, redneck!" said James before giving the older man the finger and then leaving the room again. *****

 **Hey CJ why was Tenn afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!**

"W-what?" CJ looked nervously at Tenn.

"It's a joke CJ," After Clementine explained the joke (because I'm too lazy to right it down), CJ stared at her for a moment.

"That's a shitty joke."

 **Kenny: Lee I just had an amazing idea!**

 **Lee: You're going to murder Duck in his sleep?**

 **Kenny: What!? No! (Thinks for a minute) Actually...Nah anyway here's what I'm thinking. I'm missing an eye you an arm Clem lost her leg and we're all a bunch of scumbags so what if I get us a boat and we set sail and become pirates!**

 **Lee:...That's the best idea you've ever had. Let's get that boat!**

"I don't know about that," Clementine said after a moment of hesitation. "Everytime Kenny gets started about something, it doesn't end well."

"That is true," he looked at Kenny. "How about Clem and I find a boat, you stay here."

 **Me: This is for you Abel! (Lights Clementine's butt on fire)**

"FUCK!" Clementine screamed. "You motherfucking piece of shit! Shit! Shit!"

"I gotcha Clem!" Lee threw a bucket over water on her.

"Thanks, Lee." Clementine sighed in relief.

 **Ladies and Scumbags! It is time for our first ever Pepsi drinking contest! The winner shall receive a Brand new car a pirate ship 10 million dollars And an all expense paid trip to Mexico! Our contestants are Clementine Able CJ Lee Carver Kenny Carly Lilly James Rebecca Violet Louis Marlon and Bill Murray! Wait Bill Murray!?**

 **Bill Murray: Hi Everyone.**

 **Oh and to make this contest more interesting One of the pepsi's is loaded with a very powerful diuretic and all of the bathrooms have been blocked off! Good luck to whoever gets it!**

 **(The diuretic is in Clementine's Pepsi)**

"Try not to wet yourself with excitement!" Duck laughed at Clementine.

"You shut up, hickie monster!" Clementine snapped with cut Duck's laughter off short. "Yeah you'd better shut up!"

"That wasn't funny and you know it!" said Duck. "I was lucky I escaped from that. Your ex-boyfriend is stronger than he looks!"

"Ugh I hate pepsi!" groaned Kenny. "But the reward is tempting me."

"I don't think I can drink all of this," CJ winced at the site of the large stacks of pepsis lined up for the contestates.

"I guess you don't want that prize money then," said Violet. At the same time, she couldn't help but to agree with CJ. This was WAY too much for any of them.

 _Alright everyone take your seats so we can get this over with._

Everyone sat down at separate tables with 10 pepsi cans in front of them, which would be replaced once they finished a few cans. Beside them were tall bins they were suppose to throw their cans inside of once they were finished drinking. Most of the contestants stared nervously at the sodas in front of them, knowing this was not going to end well for any of them.

 **Oh your mark...get set...GO!**

Everyone quickly picked up a can, popped it open, and chugged it down. Within a minute, Clementine could feel the drug working in her system. She tightened her legs, hoping she could make it to the end as she really wanted that pirate ship.

"Oh god this is nasty!" groaned Rebecca, who wasn't a fan of the beverage. Just a drop of the soda was enough to make her gag.

"Shut up and drink, woman!" shouted Alvin over to his wife from the stands. "We need that million!"

"You shut up! Don't tell me what to do!" Everyone in the contest ignored him. The less talking they did, the better their chances would be. "I don't see you trying to enter!"

"If I was invited, I would've!"

'I don't feel bad for her,' thought Lilly as she tossed her can into her bin. 'Let the fools argue. Less competition for the rest of us.'

After 15 minutes, the horn blew signaling the end of the competition. After a count was done, the results were display on a board. In order it was: Kenny, Lee, Violet, Louis, Bill, James, Clementine, Abel, Marlon, CJ, Carley, Lilly, and Rebecca.

"Damn it Alvin!" Rebecca glared at her husband. "This is all your fucking fault!"

"My fault? Bitch, nobody told you to stop drinking!"

"You were talking to me!"

"You didn't have to talk back!"

"Of course the drunk won!" said Jane. "He spends his whole day drinking so this was child's play."

"Well this drunk is rich!" Kenny laughed at her. "So hate all you want, ho!"

"So...close!" groaned Lee slamming his fists onto the table causing the few cans there to fall onto the fall. "Damn it!"

"What's that smell?" CJ sniffed the air.

"Shut up, CJ," Clementine hissed.

 **Clem) How dare that bastard/bitch call you a bitch! Here's a shotgun go find that mofo**

"Oh thank you!" she grinned with a gleam in her eyes. She paused. "Now how do I leave without anybody seeing me..."

 **Lee) Your not disturbing here *Hands him a VIP pass to a strip club***

"Oh hell yeah!" he left out of the room, practically skipping as he ran off.

 **Tommy) I think it's time you go back home *Snaps fingers and Tommy is back in the f13 universe* Don't worry ladies here's a souvenir to remember him *Gives Carley a 17-inch golden dildo**

 **Carley: It's the correct size too!**

"What the fuck?!" said Bonnie. "Is he part horse?!"

 **James) I got you an undead sex slave**

 **James (Excitedly): Where?**

 **Points behind James who spots Savini Jason glaring down at him**

"Oh hell yeah," Everyone looked at James in disgust as his eyes wandered all over the man. "This'll do."

"This is what the world has come to?" Rebecca looked on worriedly as James began talking to Jason about guess the fuck what. "You can't find a man so you fuck zombies?"

"No. James is just disturbed," said Clementine. "Hell I'm sure there's plenty of guys to fuck but he wants rotten zombie ass."

"At least he's not denying it anymore," Violet winced as he lead Jason away. "I'm glad I'm not that lonely."

 **Abel) How dare they hurt Clemmy because of you *Slams Pickaxe into the side of his head***

"Yeah how dare you hurt me!" she kicked Abel in the side as he laid bleeding on the floor.

 **Lee) *Cuts off his dick and throws it to zombie Abel, who eats it***

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK?!" he screamed.

 **Clem) Shows her Luke tied up to a wheel as Micheal Myers spins it as fast as he can**

 **Hands clem 50 throwing knives**

 **Have fun**

"I didn't know it was my birthday!" she giggled. "This is for dropping me, ya tool!"

"That was years ago!" Luke said, trying not to vomit from being spun so fast.

 **Leatherface: (walks into the room and gives Lee a fish and Clementine a pig head)**

"Uh thanks?" Lee stared down at the fish.

"Y-yeah," Clementine smiled nervously.

 **My bad Savini Jason carries a trident not a pitchfork**

 _Oooh. Interesting._

 **It's confirmed another season of twd is coming**

 _Strangely I can't muster up enough of a damn to give. I guess I'm over the series judging by how much I don't care._

* * *

 **Finally I'm done! Now to wait until more reviews roll in. BTW, I do still plan on doing something with Jason/Scumbag Lee. I just want to think about how I'm going to do it.**

 ***Kenny's line-** *For anybody whose offended, had Kenny been in this season he'd say similar like that and you know it. Okay maybe he wouldn't have told him to go eat an Asian treat but you get what I meant. Plus I think this is the only time someone has ever referenced a stereotype aimed at Kenny, in this series or in canon.

*Clementine had an older brother originally but he was taken out of the game. Instead we got Lee which turned out great.


	13. Chapter 14

**Lee) If you know that all you're getting out of this is nothing but injuries and abuse, why the Hell don't you just leave? I'd do that if I were you!**

"You know I can't," he sighed. He knew that the moment he left, he would be instantly brought back by some guest wishing to torture him. He missed the old days when everyone else was getting their ass beaten while he just watched and laughed.

 **Clementine) I'm happy you outlived everybody. If anybody deserved it, it was you and AJ. Sorry about your leg, though.**

"It's okay," said Clementine. "I got a new leg out of it!"

She smiled as she showed off her robotic leg.

 **So just out of curiosity PompusRumps**  
 **Are there reviews on here you see that you Will Not Do because maybe there too long or not interesting enough? or Is it because you have so many to do that you don't have time to get to them and we have to Be Patient you get to them eventually?**

No. I've done really long ones before. In this session, I've only skipped one long one and that was because I had nothing else to add. A review being too long is not really a problem unless it's a full blown storyline like in one of the previous seasons. It was the whole Ellie vs Clem storyline. A lot of that was a whole story in the comments. I don't mind people starting up storylines and adding onto it, but there's such a thing as too much. It was interesting, but the reviewer seemed to be adding too much in one review to the point where I thought they were writing their own fanfic in the review section. Again, you can start a storyline and continue to add onto it, but don't write a whole story in one review.

As for having too many, it's not really an issue. The more the better actually. I accidentally skip some at times, but I do try and get the ones I missed.

 **Kenny: (walks into the room dressed as a pirate captain) Ready Crew!?**

 **Lee: (dressed as a pirate) Ready! Wait why do you get to be captain?**

 **Kenny: Because it was my idea to be pirates and I'm the one who won our ship!**

 **Clementine: No fair I wanna be captain!**

 **Duck: Captains don't pee their pants! You're weak bladder can't handle being captain!**

Clementine didn't hesitant to punch Duck into his face. "You asshole!"

 **Tenn You are an idiot! (Bitch slaps him)**

"Don't you dare touch him again!" said CJ while Tenn was trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.

"Just like you touched him with that bullet?" Lee laughed only to be slapped upside the head by Rebecca. "Ow! That hurt!"

"Don't talk about my baby's friends, dick! You're just mad that you don't have 'em!"

 **Abel you have cool eyes!**

"Thank you," he smiled.

 **Everyone) Who will win, Savini Jason or Nick in a deathmatch**

"Jason," said Everyone.

"Thanks for the lack of confidence in me," Nick glared at the group.

 **Nick) I found ur birth certificate**

 **Looks at hit HOLY SHIT**

 **Everyone: What!**

 **Bill Mary Carver is listed as the father of Nick**

"So I went from one shithead dad to another?" Nick groaned. "Are you serious?"

"Are you sure he's my son?" Carver pointed to Nick in disgust. "Nick's a total loser and I don't make losers!"

"Hey!"

"You just called me a shithead. Shut it."

 **Carley) I don't hate lee he just needs a smaller ego**

"You're not completely wrong," said Carley.

 **The door blows open and everyone sees Carrie glaring at them before Myers strides in. Asher charges and swings his sword only for Micheal to dodge it and bury the knife in Asher's head.**

 **Everyone stares at the corpse before**

 **Lee: Everyone run! Everyone runs with Micheal easily dispatching Carlos, Alvin and Ed in the chaos**

Everyone takes off running into various parts of the building, hoping Micheal and Carrie wouldn't find them. Most of the families there made sure they stuck close to their children and other family members. Everyone else either went for weapons or left on their own.

 **Louis) I liked it when you were mute**

 **Micheal Myers rips out his tongue**

 **Looks at Lee and Nick's pain**

 **Me: ahahahahahahah**

"You're fucking insane, you know that right?" Clementine snarled before turning her attention back to Louis. "I'll kill that fucker, I promise!"

Clementine tried to kick Jason's stomach but he caught it mid-way. Using the leg he had in his hand he pushed her down and then stepped on her biotic leg, crushing it. After that, he was about to step on her head when Louis hit him over the head with a chair leg. This caused his attention to be turned to Louis. Unable to help him, Clementine watched as Jason chased after him instead. Luckily for Clementine, Kenny came back for her and carried her out of the room.

 **Nick runs into a room before he spots Pete's corpse hanging from the wall and he sees at note**

 **It read: How does it feel knowing you and everyone else will be dead by daylight?**

 **Sincerely, Jason**

"DAMN YOU JASON!" He screamed into the air. He then bolted out of the room, running off to go find that bastard. Suddenly he's grabbed by a hand which pulls him into a room. Nick was about to swing but quickly realized it was Rodrik who brough him in the room with the rest of the scumbag crew.

"Did something happen, Nick?" asked Jane. "We heard you scream."

"That bastard Jason killed my uncle!" he growled. "I'm going to kill that asshole! I hate him!"

"Good luck with that," said Jane. "You'll be killed before you get your revenge."

"Yeah, just calm down, Nick," said Luke. "We'll get him, but not right now."

He just mumbled angrily under his breath and kicked a random can on the ground.

 **Walker: (sings) I'm just a lonely zombie...I'm just a lonely zombiiiiie wanting to eat some braaaains! I really want to eat some braaaaains! (bows)**

 **Everyone: (stunned silence)**

 **Clementine...WALKERS CAN SING!?**

 **James: It's so beautiful! (glares at Cj) GIVE HIM YOUR BRAIN! (throws Cj at the walker)**

 **Alvin and Carver: NOT MY SON!**

 **(Carver runs over and grabs CJ while Alvin stabs the Walker dead then they both shoot James in the face sixteen times)**

 **Clementine: CJ are you okay!?**

 **Cj: I'm fine.**

 **Carver: That was too close!**

 **Alvin: Hey we made a pretty good team.**

 **Carver: Yeah we did.**

 **Alvin: I have an idea. What if you and I both take care of Cj and forget Rebecca and Clementine?**

 **Rebecca and Clementine: What!?**

 **Carver: You know what. Lets do it.**

 **Carlos: What about me-(gets his throat ripped out by another walker)**

 **Walker: (singing) I also like to bite folks throooooats!**

"Nobody cares about him anyways," shrugged Clementine. This earned a hard shove from Sarah.

 **Lee rolls into the room**

 **Doug: I had no idea whales could live on land**

"Oh quiet you!" Lee growled at Doug, blushing in embarrassment.

 **Alvin: No Doug I'm pretty sure that's the killer whale from free willy**

"I swear when I lose all this weight...!" Lee muttered as he struggled to get off of the floor.

"No need to blubber about it!" Doug laughed.

"I swear...!" he muttered as he finally got off the floor.

 **Everyone roast Lee, Clementine you start**

 **Clementine: No I- she gets electrocuted**

 **Clementine: WTF!**

 **everyone will roast or get shocked!**

"I didn't want to do this to you, Lee," Clem sighed. "Lee, you're so fat that you have to stay inside so you won't block out the sun."

"Oh good one!" Duck tried high fiving Clem only for her to glare at him. He quickly put his hand down and coughed. "Uh a-anyway, Lee you're so fat, you can hide enough food in your fat folds to feed twelve whales."

"I've been waiting for this moment," Doug rubbed together his hands while smirking. "Lee, the reason why you think with your dick and not your brain is because you have none!"

"Explain how I'm a teacher then," said Lee.

Doug got quiet for a moment. "Can you repeat that in English? I can't understand whale."

"Gotcha!" Alvin and Doug high-fived. "It's my turn. Whenever people want to give you a blowjob, they have to use a forklift to lift up your belly."

"And pray all that food doesn't fall out," added Jane.

"Wow, bitch!" Lee glared at Jane.

"Oh! Oh!" Kaiden bounced up and down. "I got one! You're a big fatty!"

"Shut your little bastard ass up!" Lee retorted. "You were a mistake! Go crawl back into the hairy vagina you crawled out of. Or do you not want to get carpet burn again?"

"You leave my son alone, land whale!" said Sarah. "Go stuff your face until you go into a sugar coma."

"I'd hit you, but my mom said animal abuse was wrong!" said Luke.

 **Lee) Doug and Carley actually fucked in the first interview season**

"Seriously?" Lee groaned. "Ugh must've been a memory I tried repressing."

 **Everyone) Here's a list of everyone Rebecca has fucked from age 18 to the zombie outbreak**

 **A 2000 foot list rolls in the room**

 **Diana: Ed why is ur name on this the year after we got married?**

"That's not me," said Ed avoiding his wife's eyes.

"That's our last name!" she narrowed her eyes at him. "And you're not looking at me. How stupid do you think I am? I can't believe you cheated on me!"

"Dad!" Clementine stared at her father in shock. "How could you!"

"I swear that's not me!" lied Ed. "That's some other Ed."

"Ed, we need to talk in private," Without waiting on an answer, she dragged him off to another room. Meanwhile their child watched worriedly as they walked out of the room. She really hoped her parents didn't split over this.

 **Jane) Here's all the porn movies Carlos starred in**

 **Hands her 5,000 movies**

 **Sarah shrieks and holds up a case with an older version of her**

 **Oh Sarah you found the one with ur mom and dad**

 **Lee: I'll hold on to these for science**

"I think I'm going to vomit," Sarah groaned before covering her mouth. Why did her mother and her have to look so much alike?

 **Javier) What's up dickless**

"Fuck you too," Javier gave the middle finger.

 **Dumps 3 ton bucket of cream soda on Clementine and Violet**

"My eyes!" Clem screamed. "It burns!"

"Dammit why did you do that?!" Violet panicked. "I can't see!"

 **I NEED MORE SCUM! Pours scumbag potion down Willy, Mitch, Louis, Violet, Tenn and CJ's throats**

 **CJ glares at Rebecca**

 **CJ: Stop sleeping with so many people whore!**

 **Clem gets in front of CJ to protect him**

"You little shit!" Rebecca glared at CJ.

 **Carver x Alvin I ship it**

 _lol_

 **Carley) Will you raise Doug's son as your own, or pull a Lee and deny the child**

 **Oh shit didn't mean to give baby's gender away**

"Why would I do that?" asked Carley. "I'm the mother so denying my own flesh and blood is just stupid. Don't worry about giving it away. I've been wondering what it was. Now I can shop for the right things."

 **Lee) Jenny and Tiffany are pregnant with your kids.**

 **Lee: Who?**

 ***Shows him a picture of Tiffany and Jenny***

 **Lee: I've never seen those bitches before in my life! they must be trying to get money out of me! he denies quickly**

"Oh so MORE kids you're not going to take care for!" Lilly glared at Lee. "Wear condoms or get a vasectomy!"

"They said I didn't need one!"

"And you believed them!" Lilly laughed at Lee. "You're a fucking idiot!"

 **Carley walks into her room, exhausted but stops in her tracks when she spys Lilly laying naked on the bed, eyeing her with lust.**

 **Lilly kisses her deeply and locks the door, and the rest is enough to get Lee jealous.**

 **They didn't come out until next morning**

Once Lee heard what happened, he wasn't sure if he wanted to throw a fit or be confused. Lilly and Carley hated each other. Yet the two of them had sex. What the hell was going on? Whatever happened, Lee didn't like the idea of it. Not because they didn't invite him. It was because he still cared about Carley in his own weird way.

 **Marries Doug and Lee, Marries Carley and Lilly**

"What?!" Lee screeched.

"I don't wanna marry this whale!"

"Same to you, fatty!"

"After last night, why the fuck not?" Carley shrugged.

 **Claps hands and Carlos is a Chicken Sandwich.**

 **Lee rolls in**

 **Lee: Thank god I'm starving**

 **He goes to put the Chicken in his mouth**

"Mm! This is delicious!" He takes another bite. "Needs more mayo though."

 **Omid and Christa you are now the adopted parents of Tenn and Minerva**

 **Omid: Tenn's not as good as Omid jr. but it'll do**

 **Christa: Minerva you're grounded for your actions in episode 3 and 4**

 **Minerva: Fuck you bitch**

 **Christa: What did you say to me?**

 **Minerva: Take your munchkin reject of a husband, your dead child and fuck off back to Oz Cunt!**

"Don't you dare...!" Christa started before being slapped by Minerva.

"Eat a dick sandwich!" said Tenn as the scumbag potion began kicking in his system. "And who would want to be named after an ugly idiot?"

"Show some respect, you little shits!" Christa snapped back at them.

"Kiss my ass!" said Minerva. "I don't have to listen to you! I'm 18 aka a grown fucking woman! I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"Not with your new parents around, bitch!" Christa was losing her temper with her new child. She was really pushing her. "And I don't care how old you are! If you live with us, you will not have that attitude with me or your new father!"

"Don't call my sister a bitch, you old fart!"

"Eat a dick!" said his sister. "You can't tell us what to do!"

 **Violet and Clem) How's married life**

"It's alright," Violet shrugged. "Clementine keeps eyeballing Louis though."

"He's my boyfriend!" said Clementine. "I was forced to marry you so hush."

"Why don't you all get married?" asked CJ.

"Wanna get married, Louis?" Clementine quickly asked Louis. Louis hesitated to give an answer as Violet narrowed her eyes at him from behind her wife. "I'll take that as a yes then!"

"So Duck..." Gabe started as he wrapped his arms around Duck from behind.

"Get off me, creep!" Duck pushed him off and ran.

"You can't get away from me, Duck!" he chased after him. "I **will** be with you whether you like it or not! Don't you dare run away from me, you fucker!"

 **Sarah) ur mother didn't die in childbirth**

 **After you were born, she and Carlos got into an argument and Carlos snapped and pushed her down the stairs.**

 **He buried her in the backyard while muttering about you joining in the family business, and joining him in a few movies once u hit 18**

"Th-that...that's crazy!" Sarah stammered, unable to believe what she heard. "My dad would never do that! He loved my mom!"

"If it IS true, how would you feel?" asked Clementine.

"It's a good thing the outbreak happened," she frowned. "I would never do that kind of stuff with my father! That's just gross! As for my mom, I won't forgive you if you hurt her!"

 **Savini runs into the interview room naked**

 **James (In the distance): We ain't finished yet damn it!**

 **Savini, I'll send you home**

 **Nick: No I have to kill him**

 **Savini stares at Nick then punches his head off**

 **Good enough for me**

 **Sends Savini to his universe**

 **Savini is relieved to be back in his own world before**

 **Tommy: Hey maggot head!**

 **Savini turns and sees Tommy and all the counselors from his game holding RPGs and in Tommy's case, standing on a tank**

 **Tommy: Happy Friday the 13th Bitch!**

 **Everyone fires their RPGs and tank, blowing Savini to pieces**

 **Nick's ghost: I was supposed to kill him dammit**

"Where'd he go?" James ran in wearing a red bathrobe. "I wasn't finished with him."

"Finished wha…" Clementine slapped a hand over CJ's mouth.

"Don't get him started, dude," Clementine whispered in his ear. "I really don't wanna know what he and Jason did."

 **Clem and Violet) I got you a wedding gift**

 **Shows then Mansion with water fountain, Huge pool and large yard in the back and front**

It's perfect for when you guys decide to raise kids

"Kids?" Clementine rubbed her neck. "Violet and I can't make babies on our own ya know. Maybe if Louis..."

"NO." said Violet. "I'll kick his ass if he touches you!"

"I'm my own person, Violet! You don't own me! I was forced to marry you! Do you think I wanted that while I was dating Louis?"

"I saw you eyeballing my ass yesterday! You denied it but I know you wanted me!"

"I looked at your ass because CJ left a cookie in your chair and the cookie left a stain! Nobody wants to stare at your pancake ass!"

"Pancake!? At least my hair doesn't stink!"

"My hair doesn't stink but your pussy does! I can smell that thing from here!"

"I can smell yours from a mile away! Clean it you funky, bitch!"

As the two argued, everyone watched on in amusement and a few encouraged a cat fight.

 **Everyone) Carlos played as Micheal Myers once.**

 **Shows them movie case of Carlos wearing the Myers mask... only the mask and holding a purple dildo over a naked Laurie Strode.**

 **Next to Carlos were the words 'Micheal's goal isn't killing this time'**

"Damn it dad!" Sarah buried her face into her hands.

"Fine! I was a porn star!" said Carlos. "I made a lot of fucking porn! Just stop popping up with my work!"

"Yeah!" said Sarah. "I don't wanna see that mess anymore!"

"I'll be taking this!" Lee grabbed the DVD case and hurried away.

 **Clem) Good news your brother survived the zombie outbreak, the bad news is he joined the whisperers**

"Are you serious!" Clementine was excited to hear her brother was alive. "I wanna meet him!"

 **CJ: Hey Clem can I tell you something without you getting mad?**

 **Clementine: Of course what is it?**

 **CJ: Well I made a bet with Willy Tenn and Shel's ghost over who could eat the most pancakes You Becca Minerva or Ruby but then this demon showed up wanting to make the bet more interesting so now me and the others bet our souls with him over which one of you would win. So now you have to have a pancake eating contest in order to save my soul...**

 **Clementine:...If I do this you owe me a new hat a bottle of rum a car and a solid gold gun.**

 **CJ: That sounds reasonable.**

 **Clementine: How many pancakes do we have to eat?**

 **CJ: Fifteen thousand.**

Clementine's eye twitched. The urge to scream at him was strong but she somehow resisted. Was CJ insane? She couldn't eat 15,000 pancakes! She couldn't believe CJ was crazy enough to bet his soul to a demon over such an extreme bet. She really wanted to hit him for putting her in such a crazy situation that put him and his friends at risk. "I uh...um...I-I-I don't think..."

"...you can lose?" Cj grinned at her. "Great!"

"No, CJ. I..." she didn't get to finish as CJ ran over to his friends. To her dismay, he told them that Clementine was going to save him and the others were fucked. Clementine nearly fainted when she heard him tell them that. Now she really had to step it up in order to save her adopted son's soul.

The girls were then sat down on a stage at a long table with a plate of pancakes and glasses of water in front of each of their chairs. Over to the right was a another table where Vince and Sarah were sitting as the commentators. Behind them was a large digital billboard with the girls names on it and the number zero was next to each one. In front of them were four stands with their names on each one. On Clem's side, she could see her parents, Lee, the cabin group, Duck, Carver, Christa, Omid, and Molly wearing Clementine cosplay while holding signs cheering her on and a flags with a picture of her on it.

"You can do it, Clementine!" cheered Duck. "We believe in you!"

"Give it your all!" cheered Kenny. "Save your boy!"

"I-I'll try," she stared down at the stack. She then whispered, "I'll strangle that little shitbird!"

On Minerva was just Tenn and Violet. While Violet would've liked to be cheering for Clementine, she had to cheer on Minerva. It wasn't because she was still in love with Minerva. It was because Tenn's soul was at stake. She loved Tenn like a brother so if cheering on her ex-girlfriend was the way to boost her moral and save him, then so be it. On Ruby's side had all of the school kids as nobody really cared for Minerva.

 _On your mark! Get set! GO!_

Clementine used started stuffing her pancakes into her mouth with her bare hands. Using a knife and fork was just too damn slow for her. It appeared that her rivals agreed with her as Minerva and Becca did the same. Ruby continued to use her utensils as she was too busy stuffing her face to pay attention to what they were doing. Clementine began choking after a moment as she was doing more swallowing than chewing her food. The Clementine stand gasped and shouting from Rebecca could be heard.

"You better swallow that and keep going!" she yelled. "You better not let the devil get my baby's soul!"

"Drink your water!" yelled Lee. "It should help it go down!"

Clementine beat her chest but it couldn't come out. Nobody at the table bothered as they were too busy wanting to save their friend/sibling's soul. A medic had to come save her instead. After thanking the man and then drinking a glass of water, she realized how much she wasn't eating and the others were. She shoved away the medic who was trying to check on her and went back to stuffing her face.

After a few hours, Minerva had 100, Ruby had 78, Becca had 56, and Clementine had 30. Everyone's cheeks were sore from chewing to the point where a few of them were ready to quit. One could notice they were starting to slow down a bit except Minerva who was still going at it full force. Tenn couldn't help but to be relieved that his sister was doing better than the others. At the same time, he felt bad for their souls, especially CJ's. He didn't want his friend's soul to be damned, but this wouldn't have happened if CJ hadn't taken that bet. He had told CJ it was a terrible idea but was ignored.

"Looks like Minerva is blowing everyone out of the water!" said Vince. "She really wants to win this for her brother. I don't blame her. Who wants to go to Hell?"

"Not me," said Sarah. "Too bad the losers are going there."

"Oooh. Harsh!"

"Don't slow down!" yelled Rebecca. "My son's soul is at stake, you ass!"

"I'm trying!" Clementine yelled back after swallowing a bite. "I'm going as fast as I can!"

Clementine had to do something and fast! She noticed Minerva was taking a long gulp of water. She suddenly got an idea in her head about how to slow her down. She gasped loudly. "Oh my god! Tenn's having a heart attack! Someone save him!"

Minerva slammed down her water and smirked at Clementine. "Nice try, Clementine. Tenn's too young to have a heart attack, you idiot, and he doesn't have any kind of heart condition. Besides, I'm way ahead of you! Try the fuck again!"

With that, she shoved her pancakes into her mouth. Clementine swore and looked at Becca who was sitting beside her. She tapped on her arm. "Becca, please stop eating! I wanna save CJ's soul!"

"Don't you think I wanna save my sister's?" she shrugged Clementine's hand off.

"She's already going to Hell for that stunt she pulled, idiot!" she snapped. "Give the fuck up!"

"Bite me!" Becca went back to eating.

A few weeks later...

After spending a few weeks having the eating contest, the results were in. Minerva ate every pancake, Ruby got about 12,823, Becca ate 1,829 before quitting, and Clementine said 345. Rebecca screamed in rage at Clementine while Clementine just groaned in response. Her stomach was in pain from trying in vain to catch up to Minnie on the last day.


	14. Chapter 15

**Clem and Violet) There's a procedure where two women can have babies together**

 **It's actually real lookup shared motherhood and it will pop up**

"So I can get an egg from Clem and have her baby," Violet rubbed her chin as the couple looked down at their tablet. "Interesting."

"We still need a sperm donor," Clementine pointed out. "That's how the baby gets made, you know."

"We don't need a baby," she threw the tablet over her shoulder.

"Well **I** want one," said Clementine after a brief moment. "Someday anyways."

"Aren't I like your kid?" asked CJ.

"Yeah but I wanna actually have a baby come out of me," said Clementine.

"Well I don't like it," said Violet. "I don't want some man touching you!"

"We'll talk about that later," she waved her hand.

 **Snaps finger and Doug is 6'4, muscular as fuck and has a six pack**

"Now this is a body!" Doug began flexing his new muscular arms. "How do ya like me now, Lee?"

"What?!" Lee exclaimed staring at Doug's new body. "How come you get a body of a god? I want one!"

 **Brings everyone back to the interview room**

 **Don't worry Micheal and Carrie are in their respective spots in hell**

"Good!" said Clementine. "I hated being in that storage room. It was stuffy in there."

 **Lee) that chicken sandwich you ate was carlos**

"Wah!" Lee immediately began to hurry off to the bathroom to vomit.

 **Carlos) How was being a chicken sandwich like**

"It sucked!" said Carlos's ghost. "It felt every bit of it!"

 **Christa) hands her a paddle**

 **go teach your kids a lesson**

"Good! Come here!" Christa chased after Tenn and Minerva.

 **Clem's brother walks in smoking a cigar and in a leather jacket**

 **Daniel (That's what i'm going to call him): Sup fuckers**

 **James: You!**

 **Daniel (in disgust): Me? You!**

 **Clementine: You two know each other**

 **James: Charlie cheated on me with this fucker**

 **Daniel: Shouldn't have fucked that walker in front of him**

"You're disgusting!" said Clementine. "I don't blame Charlie for cheating. Who wants to kiss someone with walker breath?"

"I'll have you know it smells wonderful," said James. "Unlike your vagina."

"Oooooooooh," most of the people in the room said.

"Don't talk about my privates, you jerk!" Clementine blushed. "It doesn't stink dammit!" She then smirked. "Just ask Jason!"

"Eeeeeew!"

"Clem, that's nasty!" said Duck. "You're no better than he is!"

"Wait th-that was...!" Clementine tried to explain it was a joke but was interrupted by Violet.

"I've never been more turned off in my life!" Violet winced. "Clem, you ARE nasty! Ugh I can't believe I liked you!"

"So we have two nasty fucks in our group!" said Lee. "Did I even raise you?"

"No wonder she was talking about James and walkers!" said CJ. "She was trying to hide that she was doing it too! No wonder she covers herself with walker guts!"

"It was a joke!" she yelled. "I don't like walkers! I love living humans!"

"Yeah ROTTING humans who are somewhat alive!" said James.

 **Diana: Shows her video of Ed drinking some whiskey before Rebecca sits down next to him**

 **When Ed looks away Rebecca slips a roofie into Ed's drink**

 **Ed drinks it and passes out**

 **Rebecca drags Ed away**

 **That's how Ed's name was on the list**

"Oh my god! Ed I'm so sorry!" she felt terrible for yelling at her husband. "I didn't realize that happened to you!"

"You drugged my dad!" Clementine punched Rebecca in the face. "You didn't have to drug people to fuck you, you know!"

"So my wife's a rapist?" Alvin raised his eyebrows at the thought. "What the fuck Rebecca!"

 **Lily and Carley's kids: How is having two moms going for y'all**

"It's alright," said Kimberly. "That is until Lilly starts cooking. I liked my dad's food a lot better."

"Carley's okay," said Danni. "It's weird having two parents around."

"I don't like Carley," said Alice. "She's a meany!"

"You threw a book at her head because she asked you to go to bed," said Rachel. "I'd be mean too. But I'm with her. I don't like Carley either. Her breath stinks. Daddy is suppose to be in the house. Not her!"

"Too bad," said Lilly. "Carley and I are married and she lives with us now. You three have to deal with it."

"I want daddy in the house! That's how it's suppose to be!" whined Rachel. "Carley sucks!"

"And your father doesn't?" Lilly then smirked. "Oh wait. He literally does!"

"We don't talk about those dark days!" said Lee.

"You seemed to enjoy those so called dark days!" Omid smirked.

"And you like fucking in the dark!"

"What?"

"I don't know so just shut up!"

 **(Pushes on Clementine's stomach) Wow she's almost as fat as Lee now!**

"Don't touch me!" Clementine rubbed her huge belly. She really needed to go on a diet in order to lose all this weight.

 **Carlos) Your work? You mean this**

 **A video plays of Carlos and Asher Fucking**

"I KNEW IT!" Mira squealed from the back of the room.

"T-that...that is uh..." Rodrik wasn't sure how to respond to seeing the video.

"This is awkward," Talia coughed. "Good thing Asher isn't here."

 **Marries Duck and Gabe and Gill**

 **Duck screams as his 'husbands' drag him to a bedroom**

"I gotcha son!" Kenny goes into the bedroom to save his son. Seconds later, Kenny was thrown out of the bedroom with no clothes on and his newly grown beard shaved off.

 **Everyone) shows them video of Rebecca sucking off Myers so she could live**

"So you'll do it to him and not me!?" Alvin threw up his hands.

"I did it to live, asshole!" retorted Rebecca.

"I didn't know your life was in danger with me too," Carver laughed.

"OH REALLY!"

"Don't start that shit, Alvin!"

 **Clem: Nick either suck off Luke or lose a body part.**

 **She walks to him threateningly**

"You little psycho!" Nick turned to Luke. "Let's just make this quick, Luke. Just pretend I'm a girl or something."

"Clementine, you can't be serious!"

"I wanna see him do it!" Clementine smirked. "Now pants off!"

"Fucking sick perv!"

 ***afterwards***

"There, you asshole!" said Nick. "I'm finished. Is that all you wanted, you little jackass?"

"It looks like Luke enjoyed himself!" she laughed.

"For one thing, I didn't." said Luke glaring at her. "Secondly, how would you like it if I threatened your life if you didn't have sex with someone you hated like that Marlon guy, huh?"

"You wouldn't have the balls!"

 **Carlos) I can't believe you were a porn star, who'd want to sleep with your fugly ass?**

 **I mean there's Rebecca but that bitch will probably sleep with bigfoot if she got the chance**

"Oh shut up!" Rebecca folded her arms. "I'm not some whore! So stop trying to make me out into one!"

"You slept with Carlos, Alvin, Carlos, and a long list of others!" said Clementine. "You are a whore AND a rapist!"

"To answer your questions, a lot of women," said Carlos.

"Yeah desperate!" Clementine smirked.

 **Duck) you're the son of... Shane Walsh**

"I would ask who, but I don't care," Duck said as he wiped off the kisses from Gabe. "I'm done with finding out who my dad is."

 **Lee) Don't worry you'll lose the weight quickly**

 **Leatherface walks in with his chainsaw**

 **There's only a 98% chance of you dying**

 ***Spots Lee rolling down the hill as fast as he can***

 **Get back her Fatty!**

 **Leatherface and I chase after him**

"Dammit this wasn't how I wanted to lose weight!" Lee yelled as he continued rolling.

 **Sarah) I think what you told whale-Lee is the funniest thing you ever said**

"Nobody messes with my son!" said Sarah.

 **Dickless) don't hate because I said hi**

"I'm hating because you called me Dickless!" said Javier.

 **(Thunder booms and a figure in a red robe walks into the room)**

 **CJ: That's the demon we made a bet with!**

 **Tenn: You mean You made a bet with!**

 **Demon: The contest is over who has won?**

 **Tenn: Minnie did!**

 **Demon: (Looks at Minerva) Pfft...heheHahahahahahaah Ahahahahahahahahahaha! (hood falls back from laughing revealing)**

 **Minerva: Wait Sophie!?**

 **Tenn: Sophie!?**

 **Sophie: Surprised? Hehehe I can't believe my plan worked!**

 **Minerva: What plan!?**

 **Sophie: My revenge! I pretend to be a demon and make a bet with Tenn and his friends to force you and the others to get in that pancake eating contest Now you're fatter than that guy over there! (Points to Lee)**

 **Clementine: Wait you put us all through this just so you could get revenge on you're sister?**

 **Sophie: Yep!**

 **Minerva: Wh How are you even alive!?**

 **Sophie: Oh that was part of a deal I made with this triangle demon named Bill. By the way (turns to Clem) Bill says hi.**

"You fucking bitch!" Minerva tried in vain to jump out of her chair but couldn't. Out of everyone there, she was the biggest one since she was the one who ate the most pancakes. Instead she just sat there and glared at her sister. "I can't believe you did this! I'm glad I killed you!"

"Bill? Oh right," Clementine nodded. "Tell him I said hi."

 **Dickless's family) Your thoughts on his new name**

"That's a really mean to say to someone," said Marianna. "Especially my uncle. Leave him alone."

"That's shitty thing to say," said David. "My brother and I may have our differences, but I wouldn't make fun of the fact that he was mutilated."

"Whoever called him that is a dick!" said Gabe. "I agree with dad."

 **Everyone) Here's a list of food the st. johns want you to try**

 **Vanilla ice (Nick) cream with carleymel, Larry-ka-bob, Grilled Duck with a side of bbq gill, Fried Whale (Lee), Javier on a cob, mashed Lilly and medium rare Alvin and chips**

"Who are you calling a whale!?" said Lee. He had just barely escaped from the maniac chasing him and had just arrived back into the interviewing room.

"T-those aren't going to actual dishes...right?" Carley said nervously.

 **Clem) How the hell does cream soda burn your eyes**

"I don't think that was cream soda," said Clementine. "That or I was just imagining things."

 **Louis puts his hand on Clem's shoulder, Violet breaks his wrist**

Louis yells in pain, unable to properly yell at Violet. Clementine pushed her. "What the hell was that for!"

"He touched you!" said Violet.

"That's it!" said Clementine. "I'm divorcing you! I don't speak to me anymore! As a matter of fact, don't even look at me! Come on, Louis. Let's get to the hospital."

 **Joker: Clementine Insanity is like gravity, it just takes a little push**

 **He grins crazily at her**

"Uh, okay," she took a big step backward.

 **Lily) Who's a better spouse/lover, Carley or Lee**

"Carley takes the cake," said Lilly. "At least Carley isn't a cheater or dead beat parent."

"Hey!" said Lee. "I do stuff for the kids!"

"Okay. When was the last time you've seen them outside of the interviews?" she crossed her eyes. "It's okay. I'll wait."

There was a long pause from Lee. "Exactly."

 **Clem notices Violet checking out Sophie and smacks her on the head**

 **Violet: What the hell!?**

 **Clem: You were checking out that bitch!**

 **Violet: So you can check out Louis but I can't check out Sophie**

Clementine was quiet for a moment. "You know what? Look all you want! I plan on being with Louis, anyways!"

"Good! I'm glad we're breaking up! Plenty of people want me!"

"Bitch who?"

"Well...uh..." Violet paused. "Well someone does. I just have to find someone."

"Good luck with that!" Clem laughed. " **I'm** the attractive one in this relationship."

"Your personality is anything **but** attractive," pointed out Luke. Clementine gave him a titty-twister.

 **Hey Lee I found the perfect way for you to lose weight!**

 **Lee: Great! Whatever it is do it!**

 **Okay you asked for it! (Whistles and Shenzi Banzai and Ed enter the room)**

 **Shenzi: Look at the size of that elephant!**

 **Banzai: Let's eat!**

 **Ed: Ahahahaha!**

 **(The hyenas tackle Lee and start eating him)**

"Stay away from him you mangy dogs!" Clementine gunned down all three hyenas. "Lee are you okay?"

"Oh yeah sure!" Lee coughed. "My left side is torn open and my legs have been chewed on, but all I need is a damn band-aid!"

"I'm going to let that pass because I love you and you're in pain," she sighed as she began dialing for the hospital.

 **If you guys love making fun of Lee's weight so much, why don't you all try living like a fat person.**  
 ***Snaps fingers, transforming everyone (save for Lee and Doug) into an overweight version of themselves.***  
 **Let's see how you all like it!**

"Hey! I didn't even do anything!" whined Sophie.

"Hahaha!" Minerva laughed at her. "Whose the whale now, whore!"

"Whore huh?" Sophie narrowed her eyes at her sister. "The fat pot is calling the kettle black! Violet, my sister cheated on you with Marlon!"

"You what?!" Violet turned to Minerva. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah and I'd do it again!" said Minerva. "Okay not with him but..."

"You whore! I hate you more than I do now!"

"Ugh," groaned Carley. "Why the hell did it have to happen to me."

"Hey we were forced to roast Lee," complained Clementine. "I didn't want to!"

 **He's a Witch!**

 **Ties Luke up and burns him at the stake**

"Daddy!" said Kaidan.

"Just close your eyes," said Clementine. "He's not special."

"Eat one, land whale!"

 **snaps fingers and Violet and Clem and Aj and all the little kids are back to their skinny selves**

"Thank god," Clementine sighed in relief. "Now I don't have to worry about losing that pancake weight."

"Booooooo!" said Lee. "You're a bias piece of shit!"

 **Carley) Read a carley/lilly story there's a few on ao3**

"I didn't know so many people liked us as a couple," said Carley, feeling pleased. "I'll read a few."

 **Me: (snaps fingers and Omid is dressed as a smurf and painted blue)**

"Hahaha!" Lee laughed at Omid. "I didn't know Papa Smurf was here! Put a shirt on, gramps!"

"First off, I didn't know a whale was here!" said Omid. "And you're older than me!"

"Ew," said Christa. "I don't think I can kiss you looking like that."

 **Kenny: (stands on his ship) Okay crew lets go!**

 **(All the scumbags get on the boat dressed as pirates)**

 **Duck: This is gonna be awesome! Where's the rum?!**

 **Katjaa: Duck!**

 **Marlon: Why am I tied to the mast dressed like Peter Pan!?**

 **Minnie: So I can do this. (takes a hook and stabs him in the eye)**

"I'm almost old enough," said Duck. "Close enough!"

"Don't stab me! I said I was sorry!" said Marlon wishing he could get Minnie for that. "Lemme go!"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, chump," she punched him in the gut. "Even if I do like it with Lilly and the others, you still lied to my brother and made him sad."

"You made him sad with being after us and trying to get us all killed!" Violet pointed out.

Minnie ignored her. "I should kill you, but we might need to trade in one of our own for treasure."

"You son of a..." Minnie slapped him across the face.

"Hey, don't talk about my mom that way." She turned to Kenny. "Let's get going!"

 **Sharpens machete as I glare at Brody**

 **Soon I mutter soon**

"Maniac!" she shivered.

 **cuts off Brody's left ear**

"AAAAAAAH!" she screamed holding where her ear was. "You didn't even give me time to do anything! You fucking monster! What the hell?!"

 **Nick) How does it feel knowing Tommy not you was the one to kill Jason**

"I was robbed the chance to kill that asshole!" said Nick's ghost. "My uncle's dead and that bastard was responsible! I should've been the one to get him!"

 **Ok Cj I won't touch Tenn**

 **Hits Tenn in the head with a frying pan**

 **The pan touched him not me**

"You bastard!" CJ dropped down to where Tenn was. He was knocked out completely. "When I said don't touch him, I meant don't hurt him!"

 **Walks in on Lee crying about his weight**

 **Me: No need to WHALE about your situation Lee**

"GET OUT!" he shouted. He shoves you out and locks the door this time. Afterwards, he goes into the bathroom to cry where people would have a harder time hearing him crying.

 **Walks in with a boombox playing 'Lee is getting that pus tonight' from youtube**

"When's the last time Lee has actually gone puss?" asked Carley. "I'm not desperate enough to fuck him again."

"Not me," said Lilly.

"Yeah because you're a carpet muncher now," said Lee.

"Don't hate because Carley and I like each other now," said Lilly. "Admit it. You're jealous. Don't be mad we're having a WHALE of a time!"

"Aaragh! Bite me, Lilly!"

 **Alvin, Carlos, carver and Thomas) hows the game jigsaw set up going for u guy**

 **Here *Hands everyone but Alvin heat vision glasses***

"We're here now," said Carver. "So no need for that."

 **Clem) What would you do if you found Violet and Minerva together in the bed you two sleep in**

"Threw bricks at both of them," said Clementine. "That's what I would've done before. Now I don't care because between questions, we've gotten a divorce."

 **Marlon) Sells him to slavers who take him to the mass effect universe**

Nobody cares because it was Marlon. Actually Louis tried to say something but nobody could understand him.

 **Larry) That's Abel *Points at Abel***

 **Larry pins Abel against the wall, strangling him**

 **Larry: How dare you get my daughter pregnant you filth!**

 **Lily, Minerva and the rest of the raiders try to pry Larry of Abel who was going blue in the face**

"Get off of him, dad!" Lilly pulled on his arm.

"My daughter doesn't need another good for nothin' dead beat fathering her kid!" Larry shook the man by his neck. "You look like the type and I don't like it."

"I'm...not...a..." he struggled to speak to Larry.

"LIES! NOW DIE!"

 **Everyone) Fun fact, Aasim was a pyromaniac before the zombie apocalypse, that's why he was at the school**

"I wouldn't have thought that," said Clementine.

 **Lee, Kenny and Clem's parents) What would you do if Louis got Clementine pregnant**

"Kill that fucker, duh!" said Kenny rolling up his sleeves as he stepped up to Louis. He raised up his hands and shook his head. "Well didja? Huh? You better not have!"

"He said no!" Clementine stepped between the two. "Stop it!"

"I'd be angry!" said Ed. "You'd better marry my daughter first! If she's not good enough to marry, you better not put a baby in her!"

"Same," said Diana. "If you care about my daughter, you marry her."

"You better not have a baby in you!" said Lee. "I'll fight whatever man that wants to marry my Clem!"

 **CJ) Your father is... Nick? Wait now it's saying Luke, now it's Pete, for the love of god now it's saying you are Vince's kid.**

 **Looks at Cj in sympathy**

 **Me: Poor kid your mom's such a whore even the DNA test is confused**

"Rebecca, you whore!" Alvin threw up his hands. "I can't believe you slept around with more than just me, Carver, and Carlos! Can't you keep your legs closed WHILE married?! No? I thought not! Bitch!"

"Don't you ever call me a whore!" Rebecca prodded the man in the chest. "If I'm such a whore why'd you marry me?"

"Because I thought you were better than that! Now I see you for what you really are! A WHOOOOOOORE!?"

 **I just thought of something Tenn why were you sent to Erickson for?**

"I actually wasn't a part of the school," said Tenn.

 **(Kenny and the scumbags set sail on their pirate ship)**

 **Lee: Where to first Kenny?**

 **Kenny: Captain Kenny!**

 **Lee: (groans) Where to first captain?**

 **Kenny: First we are going to the Caribbean islands to find hot virgins!**

"What's a virgin, daddy?" Kaidan pulled on Luke's sleeve.

"Uh don't worry about it," he didn't feel like telling a child about virgins or sex. "It's big kid stuff, alright?"

"Okay."

"Sweet!" grinned Lee.

"Sweet?" Carley laughed. "How is that sweet for you?"

"Oh shut up!" Lee glared at her. "Just because I'm fat, it doesn't mean I can't find love!"

Everyone laughed at the mention of Lee finding love. It wasn't because of how Lee looked. It was because it was hard to believe Lee could actually love and not lust. Only Clementine didn't laugh at him. Lee just ignored them and imagined all the good looking girls that he was waiting to find.


	15. Chapter 16

**I might've missed some stuff since I had so much to do. Just repost.**

* * *

 **Duck) so you don't want to know that your real parents are Jane Shepard And Kaidan Alenko?**

 **Kenny and Katjaa adopted you**

"Now I'm adopted?"Duck sighed. "It's better than having a drunk for a father."

Lee raised a finger only to have it slapped down by Kenny.

 **In the hospital**

 **Lilly is sitting next to Carley in the room**

 **Katjaa: We already know Doug's kid is a boy, what are you hoping Kenny's kid is Carley? A boy or a girl?**

 **Duck: what are you going to name the kid?**

 **Carley: Well Doug's son is going to be called Grayson-**

 **Lee: What kind of pussy is named Grayson? You should name it after me**

"Why the hell would she do that?" asked Lilly. "It's not even your kid. Besides, you're a pig! And no, I'm not making fun of your weight! Who would want to name their kid after you?"

"Someone who wants their kid to be awesome!"

"Go make more babies you don't take care of!"

 **Yo Minnie question for you. If given the chance would you have rejoin the school, or is being evil too much fun?**

"Nah," said Minerva. "I like being with the raiders better."

 **Bigfoot walks into the room**

 **Bigfoot: I heard there's a whore named Rebecca who wants to sleep with me**

"There she is!" Clem pointed at Rebecca.

"Whoever said that lied!" said Rebecca.

 **I can review every other chapter but chapter 15 please fix**

 _Merging chapters might be fucking everything up. Should be fixed._

 **Hey Clementine.**  
 **If ever there was a moment where you were a Damsel in Distress,**  
 **who would you want to be rescued by?**  
 **Gabe, or Spiderman?**

"Gabe if he was all over Duck," said Clementine. "So Spiderman."

 **Lee I don't think you're a whale.**

 **Lee: Thank you!**

 **You look more like a walrus.**

"Oooooh you mother fucker!"

 **Luke I am your MOTHER!**

"Uh okay?" Luke blinked. "I know that's a Star Wars reference but I don't know how to respond to it."

 **CJ: Clem I see a whale I'm going to harpoon it**

 **Clem: Don't harpoon the whale**

 **CJ: I'm going to harpoon it**

 **He shoots the whale who lets out a scream**  
 **Turns out it was just Lee swimming naked in the ocean, and currently had a harpoon in his ass cheek**

"Look! I caught a baby whale!" he giggled with glee. "We're eating good tonight!"

"I'll show you for making fun of my weight!" shouted Lee. "Just wait until I get this harpoon out of my ass, you little shit!"

"I told you not to shoot, CJ!" She glared down at the kid.

 **Everyone run Aasim got ahold of Lee's flamethrower**

 **Aasim kicks down the door and chunks a Molotov at Lily, who dodges and it hits Louis instead**

 **Aasim procedes to light everything in range on fire**

"What the hell?!" Violet shouted as he threw one at her feet. He threw another at her which only missed her as she ducked.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Kenny came from the basement of the ship. Clementine had to tackle him to save his life as Aasim aimed for his head. "What the fuck?! That shit coulda killed me!"

"Kenny, do something!" she said as she got from on top of him. "He's gonna kill all of us!"

He pulled out a revolver and shot him in the shoulder. CJ then stabbed him in the leg and shoved him overboard. Everyone breathed in relief.

 **Hey guys dinner's ready!**

 **Clementine: All right I'm starving!**

 **Lee: Let's eat!**

 **(Everyone sits down)**

 **Sophie: So what are we eating?**

 **LARRY CABOBS! (Puts Larry on the table)**

"WHAT?!" Everyone says.

"We're not eating my dad, sicko," said Lilly.

 **Everyone) Chicken or beef**

"I know what Lee's gonna pick," smirked Doug.

"You fucking racist!" Lee yelled at Doug. "How dare you assume I was going to say chicken!"

"You dumbass! I was going to say both!"

"I'm more of a chicken guy," said Kenny.

"I'd have to say chicken," said Clementine.

"I like beef better," said Christa.

"Chicken," said Omid. "But not any that Christa cooks."

"What's wrong with my chicken?"

"You wouldn't know how to cook it to save your life!"

"Hey! You said you liked it!"

"I lied."

 **Louis) enjoying the interview season?!**

Louis shook his head.

 **Gabe) Yes I'm a dick but guess what? Unlike your uncle I still have mine**

"That might be true but..." he paused for a second. "Uh...um...I got nothing."

 **This is for everyone the author included. Have any of you seen Jurassic World Fallen kingdom and if so what did you think of it?**

 _It was good._

"Yeah I saw it," said Duck. "The first one was way better."

"Are you kidding me?" said Clementine. "It was TRASH and the whole series is trash!"

"Okay, tell me the plot of the movie then," asked Duck. Clementine was quite for a moment. "That's what I thought!"

"Shut up!"

 **Hey is Ben still here? I haven't seen him around the interviews in a while.**

 _He's here. I'll try using him and the others more. BTW Ben is still a woman since nobody turned him back into a man._

 **Rebecca) Someone wants to meet you**

 **Glenn Quagmire walks in the room**

 **Quagmire: I heard you like screwing everyone too! All right!**

"WHO KEEPS REPEATING THESE LIES!?" she screamed to the sky.

 **Lee and Javier) I made a comic strip of you two?**

 **Lee: I want to see**

 **shows them a comic with the words 'The Adventures of The Walrus and Dickless the Clown"**

Both men tear up the comic together. Lee shouts, "Fuck you too, asshole!"

"Yeah, fuck you!" agreed Javier. "Mother fuckers are always picking on us! We'll show you assholes!"

 **Sophie: (looks closely at Omid) Hey I know you!**

 **Omid: You do?**

 **Sophie: Yeah your Magic Omid! Me and Minerva snuck in to see your show in Vegas once!**

 **Christa: (muffled laughter)**

"Can I have your autograph?" asked Sophie.

"W-what? No!" He couldn't believe someone else had seen him and mentioned the incident.

"Hear that, Omid?" Christa patted her boyfriend on the back. "You have a fan."

"Please, Christa!" he said as Sophie shoved a piece of paper and pencil in his face. "Don't..."

"Do you do anymore shows like that?" she asked.

"No! That was a one time thing!"

"You could've fooled me," said Sophie. "I assumed you were an expert when those ladies kept saying how good you were."

"That was never meant to be...wait, really? I was just winging it."

"Yeah! I could tell you if you still have it," she batted her eyes at Omid as she smiled at him. Christa's laughter came to a quick end.

"Well..." Christa grabbed her boyfriend by his ear and dragged him out of the room.

 **Lee do you remember your students from when you were a teacher?**

"Some of 'em," said Lee.

 **Me: (shaves Cj bald then throws him at Tenn) I AM INVINCIBLE!**

"You fucker!" CJ grabbed at his shiny bald head. "My freakin' hair and Tenn!"

 **Becca) How's the sex life going for you?**

 **Becca: Ben has fully converted me to girls**

 _But Ben IS still a girl so Becca's gay now I guess._

 **Everyone) Shows them a tablet and they could see Jason standing over Nick's mom grave.**

 **Jason takes a long piss on Nick's mother grave**

Nick's ghost screeched loudly to the point where everyone had to cover their ears to block some of the sound out.

 **Fly Peter Pan Fly! (Shoots Marlon out of a cannon)**

 **Marlon: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (crashes into Clementine and his face gets stuck in between her boobs)**

Clementine pushed him off of her. "You meant to do that!"

"No I didn't!" he argued.

"Not you!"

 **Lee, I have you a wig**

 **Glues a rainbow afro to his head with forever stuck glue**

"Get this crap..." he paused when he found that he couldn't take it off. "What the...? It's stuck! Get it off of me!"

 **Tilts Cj's head backward**

 **Clem: What the hell are you doing?**

 **I'm using his shiny head as a mirror**

"Stop picking on...wait it is shiny!" she observed as she looked at it only to see herself staring back at her.

 **Nickachu I choose you!**

 **Throws Pokeball at him, hitting him in the eye**

The pokeball goes through him since he's dead and a ghost.

 **Lee if you were a Pokémon you'd be a snorlax!**

 **"A what?"**

 _*hands Lee a photo of a snorlax* This is a snorlax, Lee._

"Oh. OH! You asshole! I know I'm fat. Stop rubbing it in!"

"You deserve it for calling me fat!" said Doug.

 **Kenny, Lee and Ed and Diana) Louis told Clem he wants to start a family**

 **Gives them a tied up Louis**

 **Clem: Leave him alone!**

 **she starts towards them but Tenn knocks her out**

"Oh no you don't," said Lee. "You stay away from Clementine!"

"Louis sucks!" said Tenn. "His jokes are fucking lame and he's stupid as hell!"

"Can you even support a family?" Lee kicked him making Louis grunt. "You're a loser."

"If you really care about my daughter, you better not be saying that just to get inside her pants!" said Ed. "You better treat her right."

 **Kenny, Lee, Ed and Diana) I found this note in Clem's room, it's from Louis**

 **the note read: Meet me in your tree house at midnight we'll bang ok?**

Louis gulped upon seeing the furious looks the men gave the note while Diana gasped. Louis quickly wiggled out of the rope and took off running. Lee spotted him first. "He's getting away! GET HIM!"

Kenny and Ed chased after him. Even though age usually made them slow down, the fury they shared caused them to run as fast as they did as when they were in their early 20s. Once Kenny caught up, he grabbed Louis by his shirt. "We'll bang, huh? Just what are you two banging? It better not be each other!"

Louis just shook his head, as he was unable to speak. Kenny didn't believe him. "Liar! You two were planning to fuck! You better not have touched her!"

Louis just shook his head again. This time Ed spoke. "You stay away from my daughter, young man, if you know what's good for you!"

 **OH MY DARLIN OH MY DARLIN**

 **OH MY DARLIN LEE THE WHALE!**

"Oooh so original!" Lee rolled his eyes. "Why don't you eat my big black ass!"

 **You are lost and gone forever all my darling Lee the whale**

"Jackass!" Lee was tired of everyone making fun of him and his weight. Now he was starting to realize how Doug and Alvin felt about his jokes about their weight. Maybe he should apologize. Sighing he went over to Alvin's room where his could hear Alvin fighting with his wife. He knocked on the door.

"Coming!" he heard Rebecca. After a few seconds, Rebecca finally came. "Oh it's you. What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to Alvin."

"Whatever," she stepped to the side allowing Lee entrance. Inside Alvin was on the couch watching TV while holding an icepack against his face.

"Hey, Alvin."

"Oh hey Lee." he didn't look up.

"I just wanted to say that I'm...I'm...uh...um..."

"What? I'm fat?" he laughed at his joke.

"No you cuck!" he snapped. He cleared his throat. "What I meant to say was that I'm sorry for calling you fat in the past."

"You're...sorry?" he looked at Lee. He looked at his wife who was just as wide eyed as him. "Um okay then. I guess I forgive you then. Why though? You almost never say sorry."

"I realized how you felt about my jokes," he sighed. "I shouldn't have called you and Doug fat."

"Oh. Well now you know. It ain't easy being fat, is it?"

"Nope. Anyway, I better get going." he nodded at Alvin and then his wife before walking away. He then went to Doug's room. Inside he could hear the sounds of his and Lilly's kids talking and Carley, Lilly, and Doug's laughter. It sounded like they were having fun inside. He took a deep breath and knocked.

"Coming," said Doug. When he got to the door, his smile disappear. "It's you. What do you want tubby?"

"Can I come inside?"

"No whales allowed." he slammed the door in his face.

Clinching his fists, he shouted. "FUCK YOU, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

He was about to apologize to Doug too but he mad him too angry to do so. Screw him anyways.

 **Clem) Lee will give you 2 billion dollars if you eat Lilly's spagetti**

Clem gulped as a plate of Lilly's spaghetti was placed in front of her. The noodles were almost completely burned and the red sauce look normal but smelled like raw eggs and cheese. Taking a deep breath, she began eating it. The noodles tasted like soot more than noodles. The sauce tasted funny but just barely cancelled out the taste of the noodles. She gagged the whole time but ate it all up.

"Damn, I didn't think you had it in you!" Lee patted her on the back. Clementine just groaned as she held her stomach.

"I...I think I need my stomach pumped," she muttered. "Ugh..."

 **Snaps fingers and Violet is carrying Clem's child**

"I didn't consent to this!" Clementine yelled. "I bet you told 'em to do it! I told you! I don't want you, ho!"

"You really think you have a choice?" said Lee. "Besides, it better than Louis getting you pregnant! Violet is a much better option."

"I didn't say shit!" said Violet. "You better help take care of this baby, Clementine!"

"No way! I'm following in Lee's footsteps!"

"Excuse me?" Lee glared down at her.

"You ARE a deadbeat!" said Mira, Lilly, and Carley.

"I didn't have a baby with you!" he pointed at Carley. "Can't be a deadbeat to a baby KENNY fathered!"

"Oh shit that was him," Carley laughed nervously.

 **CJ) Drops a bag of 380 apples on his lap**

 **You have 48 hours to eat these or Rebecca said she'll send you to boot camp**

 **Rebecca: Damn straight I will**

"What? That's impossible!" he stared at all of the apples. "You don't really expect me to do this, do you?"

"I'm serious! Now eat!" she demanded. "I hope you fail so I can send you to boot camp for being such a little brat!"

"You can't send him there!" objected Carver. "He's a little boy!"

"He's a violent little turd raised by a bigger turd!" said Rebecca. "He needs to go! He's had plenty of chances!"

"Rebecca, don't do this," said Alvin. "We can discipline him here."

"You can't even stop your wife from sleeping around," said Lee. "How are you going to make your son behave?"

"Oh shut up!"

 **Clem) Good thing your raising CJ. If Rebecca or Alvin raised him he'd either be taught to sleep with everyone he came across or let people walk all over him**

"Heh yeah," she giggled.

"Fuck you!" said Rebecca.

"Yeah fuck you!" said Alvin. "Name one time I let anybody walk over me!"

 **In all serious pompus have you ever played Skyrim? If not I suggest it, it's such a good game**

 _Yeah. It's a great game_ _._

 **Doug) You look great with that new body!**

 **Most reviews aren't popping up in review sectio**

 _Should be fixed now._

"Thanks," he flexed. "All the ladies think so too!"

 **Gaeb would you like duck to carry your child**

"Answer that and I'll put you to sleep!" Duck violently stated as he covered Gabe's opened.

"Damn Duck!" Clementine said impressed. "I like this side of you!"

Louis coughed. "What?" she asked causing him to face palm

 **Clem) I now pronounce you dovahkiin!**

 **Clem turns to Nick, Luke and Javier**

 **Clem: FUS RO DAH!**

 **A sonic blast erupts from her mouth, flinging the three men into the wall**

"How the fuck..." Ghost Nick removed himself from the wall.

"You little bitch..." groaned Javier.

Luke fell on his head.

 **Lee, Kenny, Ed, and Diana: There's something Clem needs to tell you guys.**

 **Clem: No I don't.**

 **Fine I'll do it then. Hands Ed a positive pregnancy test**

"WHAT THE?!" Ed stared at it in disbelief. "Clementine, you're..."

"Fine," she sighed. "Thanks you rat! Yeah I'm having a baby."

"You fucker! How dare you plant your seed in my Clementine!" Lee grabbed Gabe and shook him. "You little ugly..."

"Wrong guy, Lee," said Kenny as he tapped on Lee's shoulder. "He's in love with my son, remember? I bet it was..."

"It was your son then! I knew the little shit was too stupid to know what a condom was! How dare he!"

"Don't call my son an idiot!" he poked Lee in the chest. "He knows what one is unlike you! You're the one with all the kids you fuck! As I was saying, I bet it was Louis."

"Who is it, Clementine?" Diana asked.

"Louis," she confessed.

"How far are you?"

"Uh about 4 months."

"4?!" Diana fainted.

"So you have two kids on the way! Clementine, how could you be so irresponsible?"

"Louis and I planned this! You saw the note! I'm old enough and rich enough to make my own decisions! As for Violet, I didn't sleep with her so for all I know, it might not be my baby!"

"But they said it was."

"Oh. Well...don't worry about it!"

Ed sighed. "If you two are having a child, then you have to get married."

"What about Violet?" asked Lee. "You know, the better one for Clementine."

"We divorced for a reason," said Clementine. "Anyways, Louis already proposed to me. We were just going to wait. Oh well."

 **Since we're ignoring the no baby rule, I'm leaving Ben in charge of the official scumbag daycare.**

"You kidding me?" he groaned. "As long as I'm getting paid."

 **Kenny: (looks through a telescope and sees land) LAND HO!**

 **(the ship pulls onto shore and everyone gets out)**

 **Kaidan: This is nice.**

 **Lee: Where are the women?**

 **Season 1 Clementine: Hello!**

 **Everyone: Clementine!?**

 **Clementine: Wait I'm clementine! How are you!?**

 **Season 1 Clementine: Welcome to Clementine Island!**

 **(Different versions of Clementine from all over the multiverse and every season all come out)**

 **Season 2 Clementine: This island is for all the Clementine's of the universe. Nice to meet you all.**

 **Luke Nick and Javier: AHHHHHHHHHH! (they run back on the boat)**

 **Season 1 Clem: What's wrong with them?**

"I don't know," shrugged Kenny. "Mind showing us around?"

"Sure!" said S1 Clementine. "Come right this way."

After all of the scumbags jumped off of the boat, S1 Clem lead them around the town. Instead of finding huts, the island of Clementine had buildings and places you would find in most towns and cities. There were clothing shops, a few grocery stores, a few tall commercial buildings, a park, a fish market, pool, and so much more. After the scumbags were loaded onto tour buses, they made their way towards town. The first place they went to was the fish market. Like a normal fish market, they were selling different kinds of fish for insanely low prices. Different Clementines were at each stand yelling about fresh fish and encouraging the other Clementines to buy from them. The next stop the shopping district. The first clothing store was called "Lil Clem" which sold children's clothing. The next one was "Teen Paradise" where clothing was targeted towards, as the name said, teenagers. The third shop was "Orange Heaven" which was a clothing store for adults. The fourth was called "Tiny Miracle" which catered to babies and toddlers. The final clothing store was labeled "Queen Attire" which was full of dresses for all ages. None of these stores made clothing for males or people who weren't Clementine's sizes. The other stores included a grocery store, a jewerly store, a shoe store, and a mall.

"Feel free to get off the buses and shop!" offered the Clems on the buses. Almost everyone got out and went into the stores out of curiosity. In "Lil Clem", Kaidan and Kimberly with their parents were searching around in the clothing. Kaidan pulled on his dad's shirt.

"Daddy, these are for girls!"

"What about this..." he pulled out a blue t-shirt only to see Clementine's face staring back at him. He quickly tossed it over his shoulder. "Never mind!"

"Hey!" a deep voice behind them shouted. "You better pick that up, boy!"

Turning around, he found S1 Clementine scowling at him from the store counter. "Uh was that...?"

"You heard me! We don't throw clothes here!" boomed the child. "What are you, 6? What are you waiting for? Get it!"

"Y-yes s-sir!" he stuttered, somehow feeling scared of a child with such a deep, manly voice. He quickly picked it up and placed it on the selves.

"Darn right, yes sir," said clerk Clem as a S2 Clementine came inside. "Good day, Clementine!"

"Good day, Clementine!" she greeted her fellow Clem back.

Meanwhile in the jewelry store, Carley was checking out the jewelry inside. Instead of having actual jewelry, most of it was made out of plastic. Very few pieces were actually made out of actual gems or metal. She went up to the counter where S1 Clementine, who was wearing a black business suit that was too big for her, was eating out of a bag of green grapes.

"Hi!" Clementine greeted her. "Welcome to Shiny Stuff! Can I take your order?"

"Uh sure," she wasn't about to correct her. "Where are the real rings? All of the ones I've been seeing are plastic."

"Hold on," said Clementine. She jumped off of the stool she was on and went into the backroom. A few seconds later, she came out with a single gold ring. "Here. You can rent this for 8,000 Oranges."

"8,000 oranges? Do you mean actual oranges?"

"No, the currency for Clementine Island," explained Clementine. "You can get your money exchanged at the Money Exchange Center."

"8,000 is a lot isn't it?"

"Yeah. I think it's worth 8k in us dollars."

"WHAT?! B-but that's way too much for a simple ring!"

"It's not just ANY ring. It's mom's ring!" said Clementine.

"Mom's ring or not, it's not worth that much!" she was glad she wasn't that interested in jewelry right now. Out of curiosity, she asked about the prices of the plastic rings. To her shock, it was far more than the real thing.

"About 10,829 Oranges at the least expensive," said Clementine. "The most is about 10 million and a half."

"Why so much for something I can get for 50 cents one in those little machines at a store or mall?!"

"Discounts are only for Clems and family," she shrugged. "Sorry."

"Oh forget it!" Carley left the store with Clementine telling her to have a good day.

At the hair salon, Jane was there to get her son a haircut. It was getting long on him so a trim would be nice. The shop had a few customers inside getting their hair cut and styled by other Clementines. While they waited on their turn, Jane picked up a magazine. On the first was S2 Clementine wearing a chef hat and a pink apron. She was holding up a bowl full of chocolate cake mix and smiling at the camera. The cover read "Cookin' with Clem". Inside were recipes of tasty treats and foods that Clementine liked the most. Other than recipes, there were pages talking about S3's Clementine's cooking show, a bunch of different Clementines praising a 5 star restaurant, and a few ads for "Lil Clem", "Orange-cha Glad It's Furniture", and a bike.

Once it was Jamie's turn, he was handed a single page. It had Clementine's S1 hair, Clem's pigtails, the short hair cut she had before Javier cut her hair, the haircut Javier gave her, and the one pigtail S4 Clementine had. "Uh do you have anymore?"

"Nope," said S3 Clem. "They all look good though, doncha think?"

"I do-..." Clementine didn't listen to what else he had to say as she began snipping away. "H-hey! What are you doing!?"

Clementine continued to ignore him as she snipped away until it was just a bit below his ears. She then dyed it dark brown and after it dried, she curled it. After it was curled, she slapped a pair of green bows on his pigtails. "There! All finished, kid."

He was turned around until he was looking in the mirror. "AH! You made me look like a girl! What did you do to me!?"

"I gave you the Clementine special!" she said proudly. "It's a hot trend in the Clementine community."

"Yeah in YOUR community!"

"Are you...uh..." Jane had come up only to see her son with small pigtails and curls in his head. "Are you sure...?"

"She's the one who picked it!" he pouted. "I hate it!"

Everyone grew silence. Jane suddenly felt uncomfortable as every Clementine frowned and glared at the boy. "We'd better leave."

As the two tried to leave, their exit was blocked by a S3 and S4 Clementine. "Uh can you..."

She suddenly noticed every Clementine in the salon had gotten out of their chairs and from their workstation to crowd around the two. Jane gulped as they all stared at her. She tried to back up only to run into another Clementine who shoved her.

"GET 'EM!" one of them shouted. Every Clementine there jumped on top of Jane and her son and proceeded to beat them up. Afterwards, they were striped of their clothing and forced to wear Clementine's season one dress and Jane's hair was shaved completely off. They were then tossed out onto the street while tied up. Shortly after a sign was posted outside of the front door saying "Jane and her brat Jamie are banned forever at all shops on this island."

As Jamie and Jane began dusting themselves off and checking on each other, many of the other shops nearby started posting the same sign on their windows and shop doors. It looks like once one Clem shop banned you, all others followed suit. As soon as Jane checked on her son, she and Jamie went back to their bus before any more Clems could beat them up. They arrived just in time to see the others piling back into their buses, some of them carrying a few bags from the Clem shops. Just as they were about board their bus, S1 Clementine yelled over to her.

"Hey stop right there!" She approached the two. "I'm sorry, but you're banned."

"Banned?! Are you serious!?" said Jane.

"Yep. We heard you disrespected the sacred pigtails," she placed her hands on her hips. "I'm going to have to ask you to step away from the bus and go back to the boat since you're banned from everywhere."

"But...!"

"Not my rule," she hopped onto the bus and drove off with the buses in front of her. Jane swore loudly and gave Clementine the finger as the bus went down the street. A glass bottle was thrown at Jane's forehead, knocking her out.

After the rest of the crew toured the town, they were dropped off at Hotel Clem where they were given their own rooms. Naturally Clementine and her parents were given a massive mansion to live in.

 **Nick I will pay you twenty bucks to possess Clementine! You can do that now since you're a ghost!**

 **Nick: Why would I want to do that!?**

 **To humiliate her of course! It'd be hilarious!**

"Now that you mention that..." he grinned. "I just might. Now what to do to that little brat is the question. Oh I know!"

Clementine was in her bedroom brushing her hair when she heard someone knocking at her door. "Come in!"

Instead of someone walking in, nothing happened. Clem just shrugged it off figuring that the person on the other side realized they had the wrong door. After a few seconds, the door was knocked on again. She once again told the person to come in but nobody did. Instead the person kept knocking. Groaning, she walked up to the door and opened it.

"Okay, wha..." she stopped as soon as she saw nobody was there. "Very funny ass..."

She was knocked over by a strong gust of wind. This "gust of wind" was actually Nick who then possessed her while she was down. He got up off the floor giggling as he went through all of the ways he was going to embarrass her. He ran out of the room and ran down the hallway to the kitchen. He grabbed a packet of Nutella and put it up Clem's jacket sleeve. He then ran until he arrived at the hotel everyone was staying in. He spotted Violet speaking with Tenn while Louis splashing water at Willy and Ruby in the pool. He ran up to the fence.

"HEY ALL AND LOUIS AND VIOLET!" They looked at "her". He squatted down and began grunting until he crapped on the grass. After doing so, he pulled up his clothes and pointed at the small pile he just made. "Look I took a doodie!"

"Clementine, that's nasty!" said Diana.

"Eat a dick, mom!" he stuck his tongue out. "I'll do what I want! As a matter of fact, watch me eat it!"

He then pretended to eat it, squeezing the packet onto his hands and smeared it onto his face. He then turned and grinned at everybody especially Violet and Louis. Both threw up long side quite a few people.

Nick burst out laughing and ran away. After cleaning his face and getting rid of the Nutella, he dumped Clementine's body onto the bed and hurried off.

* * *

Well that was nasty. Till next time.


	16. Chapter 17

**BTW the interview sessions are done on the ship.**

* * *

 **Clementine) You're pregnant?! Holy fuck! Good luck being a young Mom! I'd say you have good moral support, but considering who you're surrounded by, that would be lying.**

"Yeah," she nodded with a small smile. "I've just been hiding it well. Thanks for the good luck wish. I'm excited to see my baby."

"Who you callin' bad support!" said Lee.

"Apparently you considering you answered to that," smirked Carley. "You could've said you were a good moral support."

"Oh shit," Lee realized his mistake. "I mean obviously you weren't talking to me!"

"What're you going to name your baby?" asked CJ poking at Clementine's stomach.

"I haven't decided yet," she said slapping his hand away. "And stop poking us! You might hurt him!"

"Or her," said Diana.

"Or both," said CJ.

"No, just one," said Clementine. "More than one is too much."

 **Lee) Here. Try this vegan burger. If you like it, I have a whole other list of foods that are vegan. They'll help you develop a healthier lifestyle (and possibly superpowers.)**

"If it helps me to lose weight, I'll take it! Thanks!" Lee took a bite. "This is actually delicious! I thought vegan food was gross!"

 **Hey everyone check out this video I found!**

 **(the video shows Clementine in bed with Roger from American Dad)**

"What the hell?" Lee stared hard at the picture. "It sure looks like her."

"Great, now we have two whores," joked Gabe. "Who else have you...oof!"

Clementine elbowed him in the stomach. "First off call me that again and I'll kill you. Secondly, that isn't me."

 **Gives Louis his tongue back**

 **Louis: As I was saying the last few chapters I can't marry Clem because I love someone else.**

 **Clem: What who!?**

 **Louis goes over to Minerva and the two kiss passionately.**

 **Minerva: I'm a better option for Louis!**

 **Clem stares at Louis in betrayal as she runs away in tears**

 **Violet goes after her as everyone attacks the couple in anger**

 **Violet is comforting Clementine as she cried on her shoulder**

 **Clem stares into Violet's eyes before leaning over a kiss her passionately**

 **Clem: Marry me again?**

 **Violet kisses her lips**

"You bitch!" CJ kicked Minerva in the leg. "How dare you hurt Clementine!"

"I don't care about that bitch's feelings!" said Minerva. "And why would Louis want her? I'm prettier, I can cook and clean, I have a nice ass, and I can sing! Who doesn't want a girl with all those traits? Her breath stinks, she barely has an ass, she's always looking at other guys, she's a shitty cook, and she can't cook or kiss for shit! I bet she can't fuck for shit too!"

"Bitch!" Everyone turned to see Clementine burst through the door. "I know you just didn't say of that shit! You're asking for these hands you cunt! Nobody talks about me!"

"The truth hurts, you psychopath!" Clementine ran up to Minerva and slapped her face.

"Man-stealing bitch!" she yelled.

Minerva and Clementine then began fighting, only stopping when Ed and Louis pulled the two women apart.

"Let go of me!" Clementine struggled against her father's gripe. "You heard what she said about me!"

"I heard but you're pregnant, remember?" said Ed. "You can't be acting like this while your child is inside you! Do you want a miscarriage?"

"No, but...!"

"Ignore her and move on," said Ed. "You don't need worry about a homewrecker. You go and live your life the way you want to. Like an old saying says, there's plenty of fish out there who'll make you happier than that cheating jerk will ever make you!"

"I know...it just hurts, dad," Clementine sobbed into her father's arms. "H-h-he t-told me that h-he l-l-loved me and I believed him! He p-promised me that he'd m-m-marry me and he lied! I-I...I hate him! I never wanna see him again!"

"It's okay," he patted his daughter on the back. "It's okay. He's an idiot who lost the best thing that ever happened in his pathetic life!"

"Don't worry Clementine," CJ pulled on her shirt. "We'll beat his ass later."

Clementine just nodded and went back to her bedroom with her father.

 **A hooded man appears wielding a infinity gauntlet with all the stones**  
 **"hey guys I'm a magical being and im sad so many of you are injured so."**  
 **the man uses the gauntlet to make everyone normal healed and regain any parts they lost.**  
 **"if you need me feel free to call"**  
 **the man vanished with tge space stone**

"I have my leg back!" said Clementine wiggling her foot. "The other leg was cool, but I missed my actual leg."

"My eye is healed!" celebrated Kenny. "No more eye patch!"

 **Divorces Doug and Lee**

 **Lee) I think you learned your lesson about making fun of heavy people**

 **Lee: So I get to be skinny again?**

 **Me: No, later land whale**

"That would've been too easy," he sighed. "Oh well. Back to my diet."

 **Everyone is chilling before Aasim walks onto the deck**

 **Clem: I thought you were dead!**

 **Aasim: Nope I found a way to quench my urge to burn things**

 **Violet, who had been snuggled against Clementine frowns at him**

 **Violet: Ho-**

 **Hearing a boom everyone turns to see a mushroom cloud a long ways away, right over where clementine island was**

 **Everyone turns wide-eyed to a grinning Aasim**

Clementine screamed. "NO! MY ISLAND! AASIM YOU BASTARD!"

 **Cj barges into Rebecca's room and glares at her**

 **CJ: I ate every fucking apple, so bite me, bitch!**

"The hell you did!" Rebecca goes into CJ's room with his potential fathers coming behind. Indeed there are piles of apple cores scattered on the floor, on the bed, and around the full trashcan in his room. "What the...?! You actually ate them all!"

"I'm impressed!" said Carver. "Good job CJ."

"Your stomach doesn't hurt does it?" asked Carlos. CJ shook his head.

"Good. You were too young anyways," said Alvin.

"You won this time!" Rebecca stormed off. She thought for sure he'd fail. Damn it!

 **Ben) Poor you!**

 **You have to take care of the three kids Sarah's carrying, all the six-year-olds, the kids violet, and clem are carrying, Carley's twins, Lilly's kid, and don't forget Jamie**

 **speaking of that**

 **Snaps fingers and Jamie has a mohawk**

 _Actually Lilly has triplets and you forgot Mira and Lee's son, Troy, who I need to use. I haven't used him at all. Oh yeah and those two girls who claimed Lee fathered their kids. Lee has a lot of children. Also Becca's pregnant too._

"Stop having fucking kids!" Ben said after counting the number of kids on his hands. "Dammit can't anybody keep their legs closed?!"

"Mine just popped up inside of me sooo..." said Violet.

"3?!" said Nick. "Since when?!"

"Great! The loser has more kids to rub his stupid brains off on!" said Clementine.

"Shut up! Worry about your kids being little assholes!"

"Fuck you!"

"Sweet!" Jamie grinned. "Better than looking like a girl."

 **Carley: Lilly! Doug!**

 **The two burst into the room to see Carley standing in a puddle of water**

 **Carley: The babies are coming!**

"Actually just a baby," said Doug.

"SHUT UP AND GET THE DOCTOR!" she shouted. Lilly and Doug glanced at each other.

"What doctor? Carlos is a porn star."

"And Katjaa's a vet." added Doug.

"GET SOMEONE THEN!" she shouted.

 **Daniel goes up to Sophie and smiles at her**

 **Daniel: Hello beautiful what's your name?**

 **Sophie: It's-**

 **Daniel shushes her**

 **Daniel: The most beautiful women in the room I know**

"That's cheesy. Good thing I like cheese." she giggled.

 **Okay I have good news and bad news. The bad news Jason's back and he's coming to get revenge!**

"We're in the middle of the ocean," Kenny rolled his eyes. "Do you really think we're in any danger out here from that guy. Oh please!"

 **The good news is that Lee's lost two pounds!**

"Good job Lee," said Doug. "You lost some of that blubber."

"Thank you and fuck you," said Lee. "I'd celebrate but I don't need the calories."


	17. Chapter 18

**Kenny) Have you not seen Jason Takes Manhattan!**

 **He's got on a boat and killed before and he's doing it now!**

 **Kenny: WHAT? Where?**

 **Shows everyone a video of Jason choking Louis to death as a headless Minnie lies on the floore**

 **Clem: One good those fuckers are dead! Two AHHHH!**

"Shit, are you serious?" Kenny frowned. "Damn it. I knew I should've gotten real cannons!"

"That maniac's on the ship?" Rebecca's face paled. "We have to find that monster and put him down before he gets to the children!"

 **Clem) Louis may have turned out to be a cheating piece of shit but you got your real soulmate with you, Violet!**

 **Lee: And I approve of this relationship**

"Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. I don't care. I'm done with Louis," Clementine rubbed her forehead. "I knew I shouldn't have broken up with Gabe. He was a dork but he was a sweet dork."

"Please take him back," Duck said as Gabe gripped his arm tighter.

"Isn't he under the influence of a love potion?"

"Oh right."

 **Lee) You know those two pounds you lost**

 **Lee: Yeah**

 **They came back with reinforcements**

"What?! You're telling me I gained more weight!?" Lee felt like crying. "Dammit am I ever gonna lose weight?!"

 **Daniel: Sophie would you like to plan a date in hell? Because I have no soul and it must be a sin to look as good as you, so we're bound to meet up**

Sophie giggled. "You're not too bad yourself."

 **Daniel and Sophie are chilling on the deck of the ship before Sophie stares at Daniel**

 **Sophie: You remind me of a magnet Daniel because you didn't run to the opposite end of the room when I entered, opposites attract really**

"Oh get a room," Clementine gagged.

"Don't be jealous because your ex-fiancé cheated on you," retorted Sophie.

"Eat one, ho!"

"She's got a point," said Daniel.

"You shut up!" she yelled at him. "I wish you had stayed gone!"

 **Sophie: Daniel do you have the time?**

 **Daniel: Sophie its noon**

 **Sophie: No Daniel do you have time to rub my back with sun lotion?**

"Oh hell yeah," he grinned.

 **Everyone) Thoughts on Daniel and Sophie's relationship**

 **Ben: They better not have a fucking kid, I'm stuck with these assholes' little bastards as it is**

"I wish those two just would stop," said Lee. "They keep using cheesy pickup lines and it's driving everyone crazy."

"I think it's cute," said Diana.

"Only because that's the kind of lines I used on her," said Ed.

"They're good together," said Violet.

"I hate it!" said Clementine.

"You're just upset because they brought up Louis." said CJ.

"Don't remind me," she groaned. "I hate that traitor."

"Whose kids are you calling bastards?" said Rebecca.

"They technically are," said Mira. "Kenny and Carley weren't married and you cheated on Alvin with Carlos and Carver. As an insult though, go suck a lemon, Ben!"

 **In the Daycare**

 **CJ: Alright you assholes, since I'm better than all of you I declare myself leader!**

 **Troy: Why should a little wimp like you be the leader?**

 **CJ pulls out a revolver as Troy unsheathes a short sword Asher gave him**

 **Troy: Come at me asshole!**

 **Ben walks in the room**

 **Ben: What the hell is-**

 **he gets no farther as Ch shoots Ben in the leg as Troy swings at him**

"Dammit my leg!" he screams as he falls to the ground holding his bloody leg. "Fuck! What the hell are you doing with a gun!"

"Troy started it!" he pointed at the taller kid. "H-he called me a wimp!"

"That doesn't make it okay to pull out a damn gun! Give it here!" CJ bowed his head and gave it to him. "Now go get Katjaa before I bleed to death!"

 **Minerva you're just jealous because Clementine's ass is bigger than yours! Fact is she has the second best butt in a zombie apocalypse game!**

 **Clementine: Uh...thanks? Also what do you mean second best?**

 **Sorry Clem but the first best goes to Ellie from the Last of Us.**

"Please don't bring up that bitch," Clementine groaned. "She caused a lot of bullshit for us."

 **Wait are you forgetting Lily's carrying Abel's child?**

 **Larry tried to kill him over it a few chapters back**

 _Oh right. There's so many pregnant women here to keep up with. So we have Carley and Doug, Clementine and Louis, Lilly and Abel, Violet and Clementine, Becca and Ben, and Sarah and Nick with kids on the way. So in total 6 more children to the scumbag baby list. Nobody's having any twins, triplets, or more since we need a break from twins and triplets. Single births make more sense anyways._

 **Doug and Lilly) Get Kenny he helped that whore deliver Cj**

"But he's not a doctor," said Doug.

"If he helped with CJ, we should get him," said Lilly.

 **Clem and Vi) You two need to sit down and discuss your issues! If not for you two for the babies you guys are carrying**

 **Clem: Louis-**

 **Can fuck off since what he did is blasphemy in the twd universe**

 **Rule one: YOU DON'T CAUSE CLEMENTINE TO CRY!'**

"Well I would like it if you wouldn't stare at other people's butts," said Violet. "You're only suppose to stare at mine!"

"No offense but, your ass is flatter than your back!" said Clementine. "Besides, Gabe's butt is more muscular and firm just like...you know who."

"So? You were married to me!"

"Speaking of which, the marriage was forced," said Clementine. "I never wanted to marry you in the first place. I can't help it if my heart was more into my ex than you."

"Do you still feel the same way?" Clementine was quiet. "So what was that yesterday in your room? Did that not mean anything?"

"Not really." she shrugged. "I think I was moving onto fast because I wanted someone to care about me. In the romantic sense anyways. That and because I wanted to hurt him too. I just wanted to show him I can move on just like him and make him mad. I shouldn't have done that you or myself."

"So I'm just a quick rebound AND you were using me?" Violet glared at her. "I can't believe you!"

"I'm sorry!" she took a deep breath. "I'm moving on way too fast. I think we need to just break up and you can see other people. I think I'm going to be single for a while until I figure things out. After that, maybe we can try and see what happens. For right now, let's just be friends."

"That...that's fair," Violet was heartbroken to know Clementine's feelings yesterday were just in the moment, but she couldn't blame her. Her fiancé had just revealed that he was cheating on her with Minnie of all people. If the same happened to her, she probably would've done the same. She was still angry about being used if only for a moment. It was for the best they broke up until Clementine came to her on her own.

'When she does, I treat her better than Louis ever did!' she promised herself.

 **Everyone) thoughts on the nuking of Clementine island**

 **Luke, Nick, and Javier: HAllELLUAH!**

"I hate Aasim for it! If I wasn't pregnant, I'd fight that fucker!" she crossed her arms. "He basically killed me!"

"They beat us up and banned us!" said Jane. "Fuck 'em!"

"He killed my daughter's clones or whatever they were," said Ed. "Naturally I'm upset about that!"

"Shame since they're nicer than the real thing," said Duck.

"Who nukes an island full of children?!" said Kenny. "A terrorist that's who!"

 **Clem) God Ellie isn't even in this season and she's screwing you over!**

 **Violet: I think Clem's ass is nicer**

"If I was straight, I'd agree," said Gabe. "And whose Ellie?"

"Some bitch who better not return!" said Clementine.

 **Me: Okay enough with the babies and the romance! (Snaps fingers and everyone who's pregnant except for Clementine is no longer pregnant)**

 **Also to the guest who keeps posting violetxclem comments could you slow down for a little while? There's too much romantic stuff in this lately.**

"Phew," Ben breathed in relief.

 **Nick) shows him a video of James and Jason fucking his mom's corpse**

"Those bastards!" he shouted. He felt like vomiting as he stared at the photo of his poor mother's corpse being destroyed and used by these two sick people. "Wait, how is he alive?!"

 _Don't you ever watch horror movies? The monster almost never stays dead. He always comes back for a sequel, be it shitty, good, or average._

"Good, so I can kill him now!"

 **Clem) you going to spend Time with Daniel and get to know him?**

"If he can get his mouth unglued from Sophie," she said. "After that sure. He looks like a cool guy even if I did get mad at him earlier.

 **Kenny) Bigfoot and Quagmire got on the ship without difficulty, what makes you think Jason can't?**

"You have a point," said Kenny.

 **Rebecca goes up to CJ) You must eat 10 pans of Lasagna in 3 hours or I'll send you to boot camp and make sure you stay there until ur 18**

"Are you serious?!" This was even less time than the last! It was so unfair. Had he been given the same amount of time as the last time, he would easily eat them. She took her son into the dining area. The tables and chairs were pushed against the far wall and in their place a was long and large single table with 10 extra large platters of lasagna. CJ's mouth dropped.

"You can't be serious!"

"Better get to eatin' then!" she smirked at the kid. There was no way CJ could eat all of that on his own in such a small amount of time. CJ took a deep breath and began digging into the first platter. His mother laughed evilly as she watched him stuff his mouth. After 3 hours, CJ had only managed to eat 3 before getting full and quitting.

"Ha! I guess you're going to military school! Tell your friends goodbye, fatty!" she laughed at him.

"You're cruel!" he cried. Rebecca showed him no sympathy as she left the room. Sulking, he went into daycare. All of the other kids were either playing with their toys or on the indoor playground. Alice and Kimberly were building a tower made of colored blocks, Troy, Kaidan, and Rachel were playing with remote control cars, Danni was in the sandbox, and Kimberly was at a picnic reading her book. and CJ cleared his thought. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make."

"What?" asked Alice as she added another block.

"I'm going to military school," nobody reacted causing CJ to clear his throat and repeat himself. When nobody said anything, he spoke louder. "I'M GOING TO MILITARY SCHOOL!"

"Oh that's great," said Danni. "Come play in the sand with me."

"That means I'm leaving the scumbag interviews! Don't you all care?"

"Doesn't school mean you go there and come back home?" asked Rachel. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"Well it's...uh..." CJ frowned. "I sure what Military school is but mom mad it sound scary."

"No offense but..." Rachel came up and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Your mom always makes things sound scary when she's mad. It's probably nothing that bad."

"Maybe," he wasn't sure. He'd have to ask his dad just what military school was.

"Come on and play cars with us," she grabbed his hand. "I saved the blue one you like so much."

 **Aasim is preparing to fall asleep before he hears a knock at his door**

 **Opening it revealed Mitch and Willy standing there**

 **Mitch and Willy fall to their knees and bow**

 **Mitch and willy: Teach us how to bomb like you do master**

"I don't think you two are quite ready for that," he rubbed his chin. "Tell you two what. If you two promise to do what you're told and obey my orders, you can learn how to make the best bombs ever."

"We'll do whatever you want!" said Mitch.

"Start by getting me out of this cell," said Aasim. After his bombing of Clementine Island, he had been stored inside one of the ship's holding cells. He was lucky he hadn't been shot yet. It was a good thing everyone was too busy being mad at Louis instead of him.

 **Shoots Louis in the gut**

 **oops my finger slipped**

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" he groaned as he held his bloody stomach. "Fuck! Someone get a doctor!"

 **Javier) The only reason people dont like you is because they wanted to play as clementine I actually liked your game.**

"Well that's my not fault!" said Javier. "They wanted to try something new. Don't hate **me** for it! I'm glad you liked my game. I don't hear that much."

 **Clementine) Here's a genies lamp 3 wishes that have the same rules as Aladdin**

"Oh really?" Clementine ran off to her bedroom and locked the door. She rubbed the side of the lamp. A thick, pink fog quickly filled up the room. A figure rose out of the fog covered in the mist. The figure then twirled around and managed to spin the fog surrounding it off. The figure turned out to be a young woman with long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her skintone was tan, her lips her bright red, and she had on purple mascara. Her outfit was just like Jasmine's from Aladdin but pink.

"I am Anniyah, the genie of the lamp!" she announced as she crossed her arms while continuing to float in the air. "Who has summoned me?"

"It was me!" Clementine waved up at her. "I was the one who called for you."

"I'm at your service," she bowed. She floated down to the ground.

"How come you don't have like a ghost tail thingy?" she asked pointing at her legs.

"What?"

"Nothing. Oooh what should I wish for..." Clementine bite her lip as she tried thinking of one. There were so many things she wanted to wish for but she could only pick three. Then again it wouldn't hurt to ask for more. "Can I wish for more wishes?"

"It's against the rules," she shook her head. "You can't wish for more wishes, death on yourself or others, for someone to fall in love with you, for people to fall out of love, for someone to be revived, and you can't wish for me to allow you to break my rules."

"Well that sucks," she pouted. "Okay uh...I wish for Clementine Island to be back."

"I can bring it back," said Anniyah. "But none of the other Clementines will be alive."

"It's fine," said Clementine. "We have our own way of revival around here."

Anniyah snapped her fingers and disappeared in a poof of red smoke. A few seconds later, she popped back in pink smoke. "The deed is done, master. Clementine Island is now back on the map."

"Can you, like, put a spell on it to make sure nobody can destroy it?" If Aasim knew about the island, the crazy bastard might blow it up again.

"Make another wish."

"On second thought, don't worry about it." she tried thinking of another wish. "Shit I can't think of any. Do I have to make up a wish on the spot or..."

"Do as you like," she said as she looked at herself in a hand mirror. "I'm in no rush."

"Cool. Do you need a place to stay? I think we have extra rooms. If not, Luke can sleep on deck and Nick's a ghost so he doesn't really need a bed."

"My lamp is where my home is," she snapped, causing her mirror to disappear. "Thank you anyways."

"Okay. Go do whatever you want." She wanted to think of what exactly she needed for those next two wishes. She had to use them wisely since she only had two left. She also had to be very careful not to use the word "wish" just in case her genie either overheard or knew when she said it without being around. She slipped the lamp underneath her bed and started on a list of things she could potentially need to wish for.

 **AJ/CJ) For being a good child character you may have a sword**

"Yes!" he swung the sword around. "Whoa!"

He fell over on his behind causing laughter from the other children especially Troy. He had been properly trained by his uncles after a lot of begging to his mother. He was still a beginner but he was a lot better than what CJ was.

"Stop laughing!" CJ glared at them. "At least I have a sword."

"Troy does too, dummy," said Alice.

"So?"

"And I'm a lot better too," he poked out his chest.

"Oh shut up!"

 **Snaps fingers and everyone who was pregnant before who had their baby taken away is pregnant again**

"Dammit!" said Ben.

 **Smacks Louis and Minerva in the face with Chairles**

"Hahahaha!" Clementine laughed.

 **(Lights Louis on fire)**

He ran around screaming until Minerva splashed some water on him.

 **Everyone) If you could be any cryptid what would you be?**

 **Louis: I-**

 **Not you! bitch slaps him**

"None of 'em," said Clementine. "Who the hell would want to be any of them?

"I'd be a Yeti," said Duck. "I love skiing!"

"I don't think you could ski if you were a Yeti," said Katjaa. "You can't even ski now!"

"I don't know," said Lee. "Big Foot I guess Big Foot. You know what they say about guys with big feet."

"No, I don't," said Duck. "What do they say?"

"I don't know. I was hoping someone would answer."

 **Luke, Nick, and Javier) what are you going to do now that Clem is dovahkiin, she literally is a god!**

"Great," Luke groaned along with Nick and Javier. "Just fucking great! Couldn't you have given it to someone who wouldn't use their powers for evil?"

 **Also you three thoughts on Louis lying, cheating and leaving her to raise her child**

"I can't blame him," said Luke. "I mean cheating is terrible. I've had plenty of girls do it to me. Clementine is a special case though. I'd cheat on her too! She's a cunt!"

"HEY!" She glared at him.

"You are," agreed Nick. "Nobody should stay with a crazy bitch. You know the same one who laughs at torture and made me suck my best friend's dick!"

Clementine was quiet. "Oh."

 **Louis wakes up to see CJ, Tenn and Mitch standing over him**

 **CJ: This is for Clem!**

 **the four began beating Louis**

"Ow! Hey get off of me!" he tried fighting them off but there was too many of them. "Ow! Fuck! Shit!"

"This is for leaving a pregnant woman!" Tenn said as he punched his chest.

 **FOR CLEMENTINE!**

 **Feeds Louis and Minerva to a Megalodon**

Clementine shuddered but didn't say anything. Cj meanwhile said "Good riddance!"

 **Pompus) Stormcloaks or Imperials? I myself prefer the Empire ending to the civil war**

 _Stormcloaks_

 **(Snaps fingers and Lee has Arnold Swartzenaggers body)**

 _To be more specific, the younger version._

"Oh hell yeah!" he began flexing his muscles. "That's what I'm taking about!"

(Turns Doug back into his fatty self)

"What?!" he looked down at his plump body. "Dammit!"

Lee walked up to him. Doug knew what was coming. Instead of being bombarded with fat insults, Lee patted him on the back and said, "Don't worry. With enough hard work and determination, you'll lose that weight and get back that awesome body of yours."

"What?" Doug stared at him with wide eyes. "Uh excuse me?"

 **Kenny: Clementine.**

 **Clementine: Yeah?**

 **Kenny: I just wanted to let you know that we have a bar on the ship there's no alchohol yet but if you wanna have a soda or something and talk to the bartender you can.**

 **Clementine: That might help me feel better thanks.**

 **(Clementine goes to the bar)**

 **Clementine: One soda.**

 **Indoraptor: Scree! (hands her a soda)**

"Normally I'd be terrified, but I'm not," she sat down and chugged down the soda. "Fuck everything! I can't believe that asshole left me for that bimbo! I gave him everything thing! Got pregnant with his kid, planned on running away and getting married, and living some fantasy that we knew was bullshit but dammit we dreamed about it!"

The indoraptor screed in response while wiping the bar's countertop. She continued. "There's nothing wrong with me! Sure I can be mean and too extreme, but I was always sweet to him! Maybe that's what did it. I was too nice. I should've put my foot on his neck. Been more assertive! Put him in his place! Make him where a collar to remind him that I own him!"

"Screeee?"

"I got it from a weird magazine I found in Larry's room," said Clementine. "As I was saying...put a collar on his neck! Beat his ass with a horse crop when his eyes wonder or says some dumb shit! Tie him up for a while until he begs for me to let him go!"

The indoraptor slowly backed up from the bar. What was this weird human talking about? Lee walked in on Clementine's crazy talk and stared at her talking to herself. "...make him wear a diaper in public! I'll make him dress like a fool and force him to embarrass himself so nobody will ever love him but me!"

"Uh who are you talking about?" Clementine jumped and turned around.

"Y-you didn't hear any of that!" she quickly ran out of the room.

 ***snaps fingers and there isn't anymore pregnant women except Clementine* There's too many damn scumbag kids here.**

 **Oh and Clem and everyone else) Nick possed clem and made her do those things at the pool**

"You can't prove it," said Nick.

"It was weird for her to do that," said Violet.


	18. Chapter 19

Had to rearrange some reviews because of an event that happens later.

* * *

 **Omid look out there's a wild Grizzly bear behind you! Oh wait that's just your wife.**

"Who are you calling a bear?!" said Christa.

"Don't call my girlfriend a bear!" said Omid.

 **Doug glares at the parrot**

 **Parrot: What you looking at fatass?!**

"My dinner!"

"Why don't you skip dinner!" retorted the bird. "You already look like you've had dinner twice today!"

 **Jamie walks into Jane's room**

 **Jamie: Hey mom-**

 **H stops seeing Bonnie underneath Jane**

 **Jamie: My eyes burn! he runs screaming**

"I thought you locked the door!" hissed Bonnie, her face reddening with embarrassment.

"Me? I thought you locked it!" she groaned. "Ugh now I'm going to have 'the talk' with him. Shit."

 **(Snaps fingers and Gabe is no longer in love with Duck)**

Gabe was in the middle of trying to kiss Duck when this happened. The moment he saw how close he was to Duck's face, he grew wide eyed and shoved him away. "What the...?!"

"You were about to kiss me." said Duck, glad he was finally back to normal.

"Excuse me!?"

"Someone made you and Gill fall in love with me," explained Duck. "It was terrifying."

"I-I didn't do anything weird...right?" he asked nervously. There was no telling what could've happened under the influence of a love potion.

"Well you tried to have sex with me," said Duck. "Then you killed Gill so you could have me to yourself."

"Geez Duck!" said Javier. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

"He threatened to kil my parents!" said Duck.

"What the fuck was in that potion?!"

 **Hold it Rebecca! You can't send CJ to military school you don't even have custody to him! (Shows the papers stating that Alvin and Carver have custody)**

"What the...?" Rebecca read over the papers. It turned out to not be a lie as it said right there in black and white that she didn't have custody and they did. "How the...what the...how did the hell did you two get custody? You two aren't even the real fathers!"

"We take care of him like a real father would," said Carver. "And don't worry about how we got custody! The point is you can't take him anywhere without our permission!"

"You asshole!" she turned to her husband. "Alvin, that boy is out of control and you know it! He needs to go!"

"No he doesn't," said Alvin. "What he needs to do is stay where he is and be parented. You can't just ship your kids off to someone else for them to do it."

"Oh like you can discipline him," Rebecca placed her hands on her hips. "He has no respect for you let alone anyone else."

"We can still try," said Alvin. "Military school is much too harsh for a small child anyways."

"Do what you want. I can't wait for you assholes to learn the hard way that's just what he needs."

 **Wow Clem you creeped out the Indoraptor! That is impressive! Also good news two natives to Clementine island survived!**

"I didn't mean to," she said rubbing the back of her neck. "Oh really! That's great!"

"Fuck!" swore Luke. "Are you serious?"

 **everyone) the Louis that's been unfaithful to clementine is an evil clone I found the real one tied up**

"Are you serious?" said Violet. "He was an evil clone the whole time?"

"That makes sense," said CJ. "Only someone insane would hurt Clementine!"

 **Pushes the real Louis in and shaves the evil ones head so they know the difference**

"Louis!" Clementine's first instinct was to hug him but she stopped halfway to him. "Wait a second. Do you love Minerva?"

"What?! Why the hell would I?" He asked. "I love you not her. Wait, what did he do?"

"Don't worry about it," she hugged him. "I-I'm just glad you're back."

"Where were you?" asked CJ as the couple embraced. "We thought you lost your mind and got with Minerva."

"I dunno," said Louis. "The last thing I remember was..."

 _FLASHBACK_

 _Clementine and Louis were in Louis's bedroom with him playing the piano. Clementine loved listening to the soft and gentle tunes that Louis played for her. It helped to take her mind off of everything and wonder off to somewhere far off. She touched his arm when he finished up the song. "Play another one."_

 _"Wish I could but I can't. It's my turn to help make breakfast."_

 _"Please?" she begged as she clutched his arm. "I don't want you to go."_

 _"...with Lilly," he finished._

 _"Oh. I'd better go then so you'll have the energy to make sure she doesn't fuck everything up." she got up from the piano. "Walk me home?"_

 _"What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't?" he smiled as he offered his arm to her. She smiled as she locked her arms with his._

 _Once at her room, she offered him to a chance to stay. "CJ is in his room tonight. You wanna have a sleepover?"_

 _"What part of 'I have to make breakfast' don't you understand?" he rubbed his nose against her's. "I am tempted though."_

 _"Could I tempt you further?" she pressed herself against him._

 _"You could...but then I again I don't think getting food poisoning is worth it."_

 _Clementine pouted but knew he was right. She gave him a kiss goodnight and went inside. Meanwhile Louis went back down downstairs and down the hall to his room. Once he got there, he found his door wide open. That was strange as he was sure had closed it before taking his girlfriend to his room. Instead of going inside, he peeked inside. His normally clean room was a mess. His piano was covered in something red which he hoped was paint, his clothes were scattered everywhere, his bed unmade, his pillows were ripped open, and his dresser drawers were emptied out. He groaned at the site of the mess. He wasn't going inside to see just what they took or what else they had destroyed. He headed back to Clementine's room to take her up on the "sleepover" offer._ _Just as he was about to knock, someone hit him over the head with something hard, knocking him out._

"And that's all I remember," said Louis. "After that, I woke up in a room with nothing but a bed, toilet, a small tv, and sink. I never saw or heard anybody though. I got fed through the slot underneath the door that was holding me there.

"I don't know who kidnapped you and replaced you, but I'm glad you're back!" Clementine wiped a tear from her eye. "I really miss being with you."

"I missed you too, Clem," he kissed her. "And I promise I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"He made me think you didn't love me anymore. You...he said he loved Minerva."

"Why her? I mean she's pretty and all..." She elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow! I was just gonna say she's pretty but she isn't my type."

"She better not be," she grumbled. "Now that you're back, can we finally get married?"

"The answer better be yes!" said CJ before Louis could answer.

"I was going to before you said something," said Louis. He turned back to her. "Yeah before some other crazy shit happens."

 **Katjaa walks into the room**

 **Parrot: Hey MILF you DTF?**

Katjaa just slowly backed away.

 **(looks at Lee) Hey I found the Geico caveman!**

"Who you callin' a caveman!" said Lee. "I'm way better looking than that guy."

 **Clem And Vi! Please don't end things!**

"Can't force her to be with me," said Violet. "Besides, before I was going to give her some space since she just broke up with Louis who turned out to be a fake. Now that the real version is back, I'm just shit outta luck."

"My real boyfriend is back," Clementine grinned as she held his hand. "I'm with him now."

 **Also can we change CJ's name back to AJ?**

 _I don't care._

 **And Louis, to be honest, I ship you and Minerva, but you outta be ashamed of yourself**

"Why?" asked Louis. "Minerva's bat-shit crazy."

"I have no regrets," said Evil Louis. "Minerva is a hot piece of ass."

"Clementine's way cuter," said Louis.

 **If there are any survivors from the bombing of Clementine Island, I want to see them attack.**

 **Everyone look outside!**

 ***A couple of rafts filled with angry Clementine's is approaching the boat***

 **"Oh not those bastards aga-" Jane is shot in the face.**

"Holy shit!" said Luke as Jane's body hit the floor of the deck. "One of 'em just shot Jane! Why the hell did they do that?!"

"I-I don't know!" Clementine was surprised too. "What do you think they want?"

"Shouldn't you know that?" asked CJ.

"I'm not them though." she pointed out. She suddenly remembered. "Wait a second, where's Aasim? He's the one who blew up their island!"

"He escaped." said Lee. "I haven't seen him so I assumed he got off the boat."

"Well shit."

 **SCREW ULFRIC STORMCLOAK!**

 **JARL BALGRUFF THE GREATER FOR HIGH KING!**

 _Well now that you've called him great..._

 **Kenny: Release the Megalodon!**

 **The giant shark immediately attacks the boats, eating the raft and the 30 clementines on it**

"What the hell, Kenny!" said Clementine.

"They're hostile!" said Kenny. "Even though Jane's a bitch, she didn't really do anything to get shot!"

 **Snaps fingers and Louis is a rat, snaps fingers and Minerva is a cat**

 **Rat-Louis squeaks and runs as cat-Minerva tries eating him**

"Get back here you delicious little treat!" she meowed after licking her lips as she ran after him.

"Get away from me!" he squeaked as he made for a hole on the ship.

 **The biggest reason I didn't join stormcloaks is that you have to dethrone Balgruff**

 **I and my cousin agreed that was a deal breaker so we chose the empire**

 _That makes sense._

 **Rebecca) So CJ is a fatty huh?**

 **Snaps fingers and she ways 2000 pounds**

 **CJ: Who's fat now bitch!?**

"You cocksucker!" Rebecca groaned at all of the weight she gained.

"That's what you get or making me eat all those apples and lasagna."

 **Snaps fingers and Lee is a Khajiit from the elder scrolls game**

 **Snaps fingers and Doug has his godly body back**

 **Duck walks into his room to see Gabe naked under his covers**

 **DucK: I thought you weren't in love with me anymore**

 **Gabe: This is Lust not Love**

Duck narrowed his eyes at Gabe as he frowned. "Weirdo."

"What the hell?!" Lee looked down at his hands. He was now covered from head to toe with fur and was no longer a human, but rather some kind of feline. "I'm a fucking cat! At least I haven't lost my muscles."

"Thank you for giving me back my proper body!" Doug grinned.

 **Javier) You smell so bad a dog wouldn't even lick you!**

"That's a damn lie!" On cue, Rosie walked up to Javier, sniffed him, whimpered, and took off running. "She doesn't even like me! That doesn't count!"

 **Clem) If you're carrying a boy you could name it Lee**

"Actually Louis and I were going to name it Samuel or Edward." she said rubbing her stomach. "Maybe if it's a girl maybe I'll name her Lee."

 **Jenny Myers walks into the room with a little boy on her hip, followed by Tiffany Cox with a little girl on her hip**

 **Little kids look at Lee**

 **Jenny and Tiffany's kids: PAPA!**

"Are you serious with this?" he felt like vomiting. "I have more kids?!"

"They look too much like you to deny 'em." said Carley. "They're yours."

Lee suddenly smiled. "No they don't! I'm a cat dude now! No way they're mine!"

"Sooner or later someone's turning you back into a human you know."

"Shut up, fatty fucker!"

"What happened to not picking on fat people?" asked Alvin.

"I'm making an exception for Doug who was rude when I apologized."

 **Gives CJ a lightsaber**

 **Rebecca is walking down the ship when she hears heavy footsteps behind her**

 **Looking back she spots Jason swinging a fire axe at her, which hits her in the head**

"Cool a giant laser!" he began waving around his red lightsaber. "Whoosh! Whoosh!"

"Careful with that thing!" warned Lee ducking. "You're gonna kill someone!"

 **General Tullius walks into the room**

 **Tullius: What the rebels like to forget is the empire is keeping the dominion out of Skyrim**

 _Point made_

 **CJ how's it feel to be bald?**

"I miss my hair." he sighed as he rubbed his bald head.

 **Lee here is Thor's hammer if you can lift it you will be king!**

Lee tries to lift it but can't much to his annoyance.

 **And Duck your fly is down.**

"Hm?" he looks down only to feel someone slap the back of his neck. "Hey!"

 **I'm so sick of Violetine! (Erases Violet from existence) There that's better. Also (shoots duck in the balls)**

 **Duck: WHY!?**

 **In an alternate timeline you made Clem kill herself and I still hate you for it**

"What the heck does that hafta do with me!?" he yelled. "I'd never do that you clown!"

 **(Turns Ben back into a Guy and turns Clementine into a raccoon)**

"About time!" said Ben.

"Shit I was planning on hitting that." Lee snapped his fingers in disappointment.

"What?!"

Raccoon Clementine jumps on Minerva's face and begins mauling her.

 **(I now turn everyone into Pokémon!)**

"AAAAAH!" Clementine, a Seel, jumped back. "What the hell are you?!"

"I don't fucking know!" panicked Luke. "Does anybody know about pokemon?!"

"You're a Omastar," said Duck, a Jolteon.

"A what?" Duck held up a mirror with his mouth. "WHAT THE...?!"

"You're actually really cool looking." said Duck.

"You're so cute!" Sarah, a Chimchar, said to Katjaa who was a vulpix.

"You're adorable as well." complimented Katjaa. "But uh doesn't that fire hurt?"

"What?"

"On your...you know what? Nothing." it was better to not cause panic.

"Why couldn't I get a cool pokemon?" groaned Lee, a Dedenne, as he pouted into the mirror. "I look like a..."

He was jumped on by a bunch of little dedenne who were none other than his children. One child who came in the room as well an evee. "What the hell?!"

"Daddy, what happened?" asked Rachel. "We're little mouses!"

"It's mice and how'd you know it was me?"

"You're wearing that stinky cologne." said Troy who was the evee.

"Wait, why aren't you the same type as me?"

"Cuz I'm one too I guess," Mira picked her son up by the scuff of his fur.

"Wait a second...I bet it's Bigby's kid, isn't it!? Get back here!" he struggled to get from under his children. "Come back here!"

 **Jason: Ch Ch Ch Ah Ah Ah. (Throws his machete at Nick but it goes through him and slices through Katjaa's neck)**

"Katjaa!" Kenny, a ditto, hurried over. "You killed my wife!"

"Actually she's not your..." began Lee.

"SHUT UP!" Kenny hurried over to his wife's killer and tried to punch him with his little nubs. Jason looked down at him and then kicked him across the room. Meanwhile everyone hurried out of the room down to the storage room.

 **(Gives Becca a wedgie)**

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she shouted. "Fucker!"

 _Illumise is what Becca is._

 **Lee you just won your very own Batmobile!**  
 **Lee: Sweet! (The batmobile falls on Kenny)**

"You can't drive it though," said Clementine.

"Oh right." Lee sighed.

"Get out of the tail pipe, Rachel!" Lilly, a dedenne, shouted from behind the car.

"MOMMY HELP I'M STUCK!" she screamed. "Daddy!"

"I'll get the butter." sighed Lee.

 **Katjaa) You're going to hate me for this**

 **Katjaa: What?**

 **Snaps fingers and Nate and Katjaa are married**

 **Nate: So I got the MILF as a wife? WOOOOHOOOO! (he's a Pikachu)**

 _ **(brings Katjaa back)**_

"Bite me!"

"Damn, mama, I didn't know you were kinky!" he laughed.

"Just shoot me." she groaned.

 **Nick runs at Jason with a pipe only for Jason to grab his throat and slam him against the floor**

 **Then he grabs Nick's leg and slams him into the wall, then onto the floor as hard as he can**

 **he repeats this 30 times before dropping the corpse**

Nick is a ghost so there isn't a corpse. He's just laying there wondering how the fuck Jason grabbed him.

 **Clem) gives her a box**

 **Clem opens it to see Minerva's decapitated head**

"Has Christmas come early?" she grinned widely.

"Clementine, that's just fucked up." Louis, an Umbreon, said as he backed away slowly from her.

"But you fucked her though." said Evil Louis.

"So did you." said Minerva.

"Excuse me?!" said Louis. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! You can't just fuck another man's girl like that!"

"Uh I'm the evil version of you, idiot. No shit I was going to hit that knowing she didn't know who the fuck I was."

"You son of a bitch!" Louis snarled. "Just wait until I'm human again!"

 **Snaps fingers and Violet is back into existence**

"Uh why is everyone pokemon?" she asked.

"Long story." said Duck.

"Someone turned us into pokemon. That wasn't long at all." said Lee.

 **Violet) I now pronounce you queen of the scumbags!**

 **Gives her a crown, this crown keeps you from being erased from existence**

 **Violet puts it on**

"Excuse you." Clementine slapped Violet's foot with her flipper. "That crown belongs to the true scumbag queen."

"Didn't you just cry when fake Louis left you." pointed out Duck. "A real scumbag would've beat his ass, his mistress's ass, and dragged him back to your side. You just cried."

"And you wouldn't!?" she glared at Duck. "You do have a point though. I should've beaten his ass."

 **Nick) Remember when you were turned into a walrus?**

 **Well Louis is about to be turned into one**

 **Knocks Louis out and drags him away**

"Aren't you going to save him?" asked Lee as Louis was dragged out of the room.

"Wrong Louis." smirked Clementine. "That one's bald!"

"You were a walrus?" Louis asked ghost Nick.

"Ugh." he shuddered. "Don't remind me."

 **Turns everyone back into humans**

"Aw I liked being a pokemon." pouted Duck.

"I didn't." said Clementine. "Being a seal sucks."

 **Pours scumbag potion down Daniel's throat making him as big of an asshole as Clementine**

 **Daniel: Sophie, me, you whipped cream and my bed, 2 hours ok?**

 **Sophie (Blushing): Yes sir!**

"Don't touch my sister, you asshole!" said Tenn. He had a bunch a hundreds thrown in his face. "Do as you please."

 **Snaps fingers and Nick is an Argonian from the elder scrolls**

"Lizard people are real!" said Duck. "That guy was right dad!"

"Well shit." said Kenny.

 **So who's the biggest scumbag in these interviews?**

"Me!" said Lee. "Clementine's too soft."

"Am not!"

"Ahem." Duck cleared his throat.

"Oh hush!"

"Lee for certain." said Carley.

"Lee." said Doug. "Piece of shit."

 **Asiam and Minerva face each other in the woods**

 **Asiam: TRAITOR!**

"Go to hell, terrorist!" Minerva shouted back at him.

 **Darth Sideous: Clementine come to the dark side! We have cookies and cool laser swords!**

"You got me at swords!" she giggled.

 **Oh gosh I just realized Clementine were you pregnant when you got Sparta kicked down the stairs!?**

"Yeah!" said Clementine. "By the way, thanks for almost killing my unborn child and me!"

 _Dude that happened in chapter 12 which is labeled chapter 13 (because I combined the chapters which is confusing). You got knocked down the stairs in chapter 6. Were you lying about that "package"?_

"Yeah." said Clementine. "I lied about the baby. But I did have something in the mail though."

 _Okay but what about that Gabe being the possible father huh? He said "I-I don't think so" when his uncle asked him if it was his, huh? You two had to have had sex! Explain you little whore!_

"Damn that's harsh." said Becca laughed.

"Ooooh exposed!" said Lee.

"Lee! Sh!" Clementine glared at him. "Speaking of exposing, what happened to you being a better person? What happened to not being a pervert or a scumbag? Hm!"

"Don't change the subject!" said Lee quickly. "Answer!"

"Well uh..." she paused. "Okay fine. It's actually Gabe's."

"Ew. A loser baby." said Lee.

"Who're you calling a loser, gramps!?" said Gabe.

"Wait, Gabe's having a baby?!" said Javier. "Why didn't you say anything!"

"Cuz I knew dad would be pissed." he confessed. "That's why all three of us decided to pin it on Louis."

"Why the hell would I be mad? I'm a grandpa now!" said Dave. "I mean I wished you would've waited until you were a little older, but fuck it now! I have a grandson or granddaughter on the way!"

"We're going to be grandparents!" grinned Kate. "I bet it's going to be so cute!"

"Where'd you come from?" asked Clementine.

"I've always been here! I can't help I didn't get to do anything."

 **Everyone is waiting in the deck of the ship before Doug steps out with a little blue bundle.**

 **Doug: Everyone meet Grayson**

"Grayson? More like GAY SON! HA! Good one, Lee!" Lee raised his hand up for a high five only to never receive one as everyone went to see the baby. "Aw come on! That was great!"

"He's so cute!" cooed Clementine. "He looks his mom."

"What a handsome baby." complimented Katjaa.

"Our baby's gonna be cuter." said Gabe.

"Don't steal his spotlight, Gabe." said Dave. "Even if it is true."

 **Hey Ben and Clem) Daniel and Sophie took your advice and got a room together**

 **Ben: WHAT?!**

 **he goes to the door of the room they're in and bangs on it**

 **Ben: Sophie! Daniel! You better use a fucking condom like sane people do!**

 **Daniel: Fuck you, Ben! Go away your killing the mood!**

"I MEAN IT!" he shouted as he banged on the door again. "I have enough kids to deal with!"

 **Rebecca wakes up in a bed she knows is not hers**

 **Rebecca: Where the fuck am I?**

 **Quagmire: I got a better question, why are you still here?**

 **he throws her out**

"Dick!" she grumbles as she gets herself off of the floor.

 **Stabs Abel in the eyes with toothpicks**

 **WHERE"S YOUR COOL EYES NOW BITCH!?**

"AH! MY EYES!" he screamed.

 **(fixes Abel's eyes) I fixed your eyes also now you can shoot laser beams out of them**

"Thank you." he rubbed his face. "Damn I can still feel it!"

 **Clementine: (puts Minnie's head on a wall)**

 **Minnie: BOO!**

 **Clementine: AH! (Falls off the ship)**

 **Minnie: Hahahaha! In case you forgot Clementine I'm an advanced version of a walker why do you think that reviewer made me queen of walkers for!**

 **CJ: Well in that case! (Grabs Minnie)**

 **Minnie: Hey!**

 **CJ: Whoes up for a game of basketball!**

"WHALE OVERBOARD!" laughed Becca.

"Don't joke! She's pregnant!" said Sarah as she let down a life boat. "Swim over here!"

"Let go of me!" CJ had her by the hair. "I can still feel that!"

 **Jason: (wraps Kenny in an American flag) MERICA! (pours gasoline on him and lights him on fire)**

 **Kenny: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs into a room)**

 **Troy: No! That's where I keep my illegal fireworks!**

"What?!" said Lee. The fireworks went off, exploding the moment he went inside of a room. Everyone ran as fast as they could to the life boats as the fireworks shot out of the closet and slammed into the walls. The ship was starting to catch fire quickly causing some to literally jump ship. All the kids and Clementine were hurried onto the boats first and then the women and men that hadn't jumped.

In the end, Nate, Doug, Lilly, Kenny, Larry, Aasim, Alvin, Carver, Abel, Bonnie, Kate, and Katjaa had died in the fire.

"Now's the time to use that wish." Clementine sighed. "I wish that we were all on Clementine Island!"

Anniyah snapped her fingers and everyone was now on the very empty Clementine Island. "Wish granted. You now have only one wish left. Make it count."

"I'll save that for later."

"At least we can all have a roof over our heads." said Lee.

 **Tattoos Clem's bitch on Nick's back**

"What the...how'd you do that?!" Nick rubbed his back. "Take it off before someone starts thinking weird shit!"

 **Minerva walks into the room she and Louis shared and stopped, hearing noises**

 **Turning the lights on revealed Louis and the genie laying naked on their bed**

 **Louis: Uh... This isn't the room you're looking for. He says trying to use a Jedi mind trick**

"How'd your head get back on?" asked Anniyah.

"Don't worry about it bitch!" Minerva clinched her fists. "Get away from my man!"

"You lose them the same way you get them." Anniyah shrugged.

Minerva was quiet for a moment. "Oh."

"That's what I thought. See you mortals later." she disappeared in pink smoke.

"I'll deal with you then!" she slammed their bedroom door.

"How's your..." began Evil Louis.

"Worry about that later! NOW COME HERE YOU CHEATER!"

 **Throws holy water on Nick**

 **Back Demon back I yell brandishing a crucifix**

 **Nick hisses**

"I knew Nick was evil!" said Clementine.

 _flashes back to Clementine laughing at Nick being tortured_

"Oh shut up you!"

 **Hey guys I got you a pet**

 **Puts a parakeet on the table**

 **Sarah: Ah hi little guy!**

 **Parrot: Fuck off 4 eyes**

 **Sarah: What'd you say?**

 **Parrot: I said fuck off 4 eyes**

 **Sarah: I ought to kick your ass!**

 **Duck: Damn Sarah it's only a bird, hey birdie Polly want a cracker?**

 **Parrot: Polly wants your mama's sweet ass!**

 **Duck: You don't talk about my mama son, you don't know my mama son!**

 **Parrot: Yeah I know your mama I fucked her last night behind a bar!**

"Choke on a carrot, you rat with wings!" he flicked the beak of the bird. He squawked and then began attacking Duck. "AAAAAAH! GET IT OFF OF ME! GET OFF OF ME! AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Hahahaha!" Clem laughed at him.

"Squawk! Bitch! Terrible friend!" he stopped and looked at her.

"Bite me!" This turned out to be a bad idea as he then attacked her too. "AAAH! Stop it you dumb bird!"

Diana, ED, Louis and Violet turned helping only to get attacked too. After the attack he flew out of the room.

 **Werewolf: (bites Nick and Javier Clementine)**

"Oh you fucker!" she grabbed at her arm. "Shit that hurts!"

"How'd you bite me?!" said Nick.

"This isn't a walker bite." Javier said to Carlos.

"I know that!" said Carlos.

"I don't think you do!" He remembered the time Clementine told him about what the cabin group did to her.

 **Nazzem walks into the room and goes up to Clementine**

 **Nazeem: Have you been to the Cloud district? What am I talking about of course you haven't!**

 **He laughs mockingly**

"Uh what?" she blinked. "Am I missing something?"

 **Lee how does it feel to have Arnold Swartzenagger's body?**

"I lost it when I was turned back into a human." sighed Lee. "Back then, I loved it! Who wouldn't love it?"

 **A man runs in and hands Marlon a letter before running off**

 **It said: How does it feel knowing that in the end no one will hear your screams**

"Is that a threat?" Marlon asked nervously.

 **Jane Shepard runs into the room, grabs Duck and jumps out the window**

 **The Normandy blasts into space**

 **Gabe: Give him back it's sex night!**

"Give me back my son, bitch!" Kenny's ghost shouted out of the window.

"Sex night? Aren't you straight?" asked a confused Louis.

"Not anymore." said Gabe. "I've got a an urge for..."

"Don't finish that." said Dave. "I really don't want to hear my son talk about sex."

 **Christa grabs Tenn and bends him over a desk raising a paddle**

"Ow! Ow! Hey bitch!" he said inbetween hits. "Lemme go!"

"No way you little disrespectful boy!"

 **Dumps love potion down Nick's throat making him fall in love with Luke**

 **Nick tackles Luke trying to kiss him**

 **Luke: Get off me!**

 **Nick: I will**

 **Luke stops and stares at him**

 **Nick: After I get a piece of dat ass**

"Get off!" he said as Nick tried once more to kiss him. "Damn it Nick! This is fucked up! Go make out with Lee!"

"I've never noticed how cute you were!" said Nick. "A kiss ain't gonna kill yeah!"

"Get off!"

 **Katjaa) Kenny called Duck dumber than a bag of hammers**

"Kenny!" said Katjaa.

"Well it's true!"

 **Cj) Did Clem ever say anything about Violet or Louis she wants to be kept secret? If so details CJ! Details**

"Nothing I can think of." he said after a moment of thinking. "She has said she was going to get Luke if they ever cheated on her."

"Why me?!" said Luke.

 **Ages Tenn and CJ up to 16**

 **Tenn shows the scumbags drawings**

 **Tenn: This is me and Mitch, me and Violet, and me and Willy.**

 **He shows them a final picture**

 **Tenn: And this is me and CJ in space cause no one will hear his screaming my name**

 **CJ is stuck between embarrassment amusement**

"Watch your mouth!" said Rebecca.

"You're not my mother you cunt!"

"Mind your manners, Tenn." said Christa.

"Mind these nuts!" said Tenn.

 **Clem and the kids form the school and CJ) Are you going to sue Lilly and the Raiders?**

 **If you do losers have to be placed in Jigsaw's trap**

 **The one from the Jigsaw movie**

"Can't really sue someone whose dead." said Clementine referring to Lilly's death in the boat fire.

"Wait we can sue?" asked Ruby. "Then yeah we should!"

"I wonder how much we can get outta her." said Willy.

 **Snaps fingers and Violet looks like Aphrodite**

"Hello beautiful." Lee popped up beside her. "When did you get here?"

"Uh I've always been here." she stepped backwards. "I like women not guys. Even if I was interested, you have a reputation Lee."

"I'm sure we can change that." smirked Lee.

"No you..." Marlon shoved Lee out of the way.

"Move it, loser! She's mine!"

"No, she's mine!" said Lee.

"You're old enough to be her father! Don't you have a shuffle board tournament to get to!?"

"Dudes, please." said Gabe. "I'm the only suitable bachelor for this gorgeous beauty!"

"She doesn't want you, guys!" said Clementine. "Geez stop drooling over her already!"

She looked up at Louis who was staring at Violet. She stepped onto his foot. "Ow! What?"

"You're staring!"

"Sorry." he apologized.

"You better be."

 **Everyone) Shows them video of Brody blowing Marlon**

"What the...!" Clementine made a face. "What the hell?!"

"Whore!" said CJ.

 **CJ my bald homie! (Uses his bald head like a drum)**

"OW! My head's not a drum!" said CJ.

 **Snaps fingers and the males are females and the females are male**

 **Marlon: HEHEHE he said looking at his chest**

"Look!" Lee jumped up and down a few times. "I've got boobs!"

"No shit!" said Carley. "Man this is weird."

"You think that's weird?" Clementine patted her belly. "I'm a pregnant man. Where's this kid coming out of?! How is it still in me!? Is it going to be alright?"

"Don't look at me!" said Katjaa. "I'm no scientist."

"Mom...uh dad? Ugh. My manly mom!" Clementine whined. "What the hell do I do?"

"Is it kicking?"

"A-a-a little..." she touched her stomach. "I think I need to go to the hospital!"

"Or we could change you back just in case." Duck gestured to her genie who was now a guy too.

"I wish I was a lady again!" Clementine was turned back into a woman. "Good. I should still make sure my baby is alright though."

 **Hey scumbags I just had an idea! You all should sign up for the next Twisted Metal games!**

"A what?" asked Clementine.

 _According to Wikipedia- In concept,_ Twisted Metal is a demolition derby that permits the usage of ballistic projectiles, machine guns, mines, and other types of weapons (up to and including satellite-based weapons and nuclear weapons). Players choose a vehicle, and an arena—or a series of arenas in the story mode—to engage in battle with opposing drivers. A variety of weapons and upgrades are obtainable by pick-ups scattered throughout the stage. The last driver alive is the winner. 

"That sounds like fun!" said CJ.

"It sounds dangerous!" said Rebecca. "I don't want you participating in that!"

"That's a great idea!" said Lee.

"I'm not doing it." said Clementine. "I don't want to put my child in danger."

 **Hey, Dickless catch! Throws axe which gets stuck in his shoulder**

"Fuck! What the hell is wrong with you!" Javier tried pulling the axe from his arm. Clementine opened her mouth. "Shut up you!"

 **pours gasoline on larry then hits him with a lit matchstick**

He's already dead so it's not hurting him.

 **A vampire burst through the roof**

 **CJ: It's Count Dracula!**

 **Lee: No, it's Cock Blockula!**

 **Everyone screams**

"Good!" grinned Ben. "You all have too many kids!"

"Hahahahahaaaa!" Count Blockula tossed the Violet out of the window of the 2 story building they were in. "None for you assholes!"

"Oh my gosh is she ok?!" said Clementine.

"Are you kidding me?!" said Lee.

"What part of she's gay don't you understand?" Louis asked raising a brow.

"You're next!" The vampire stepped toward Louis.

"Hey lemme go!" he tried to wiggle his arm off only to find Blockula's grip tighten. "Get off me, dude!"

"No sex for you either!" he laughed before tossing him outside of the window. "See ya later alligator!"

"What's wrong with you, asshole!" said Clementine. "That was my fiancé!"

"So?" He threw turned into a bat and flew off.

Mira went to look out of the window the vampire had thrown the pair out of. Looking down, the two were crumpled on the ground groaning in pain. "They look like they're still alive. Is there a doctor here?"

"I'm..." began Carlos only to be nudged in the gut by Matthew.

"No there isn't." said Ben. "Katjaa's dead and Carlos does porn."

"Why them though?" asked Omid. "Lee's the biggest horndog here!"

"Because nobody will sleep with him." said Mira glaring at Lee.

"Oh shut up, whore!"

"So are you!" said Mira.

 **Snaps fingers and CJ has Kenny's godly beard and mustache**

"Ooooh." CJ stroked his beard. "This is nice! But what about the hair!"

 **Brody) People ship you with Sophie**

"Is there a reason?" asked Brody. "I don't even like Sophie like that."

 **Daniel: You know my new job makes me feel like a drug dealer**

 **Evil Louis: How?**

 **Daniel: Because I use to sell drugs**

 **he leans down next to Louis's ear**

 **Daniel: Want some?**

 **Minerva: Don't you dare sell that junk to Louis!**

 **Marlon: No one will be able to tell, what do you got?**

"Nah we're good." said Louis.

"Speak for yourself!" said Marlon.

"Come to my room and we can talk." said Daniel.

"You can't be serious!"

"Have you seen the shit I've been through?!" He followed Daniel to his room.

 **Parrot: (looks at Lee) Hello Sexy! Bawk!**

 **Lee: This is my parrot now. (Puts it on his shoulder)**

 **Parrot: Squawk! All you fools bow down to your rulers Sexy and Polly!**

"Of course you'd like it." groaned Ben.

"Can I play with it, daddy?" asked Rachel. "He's cute!"

She tried touching his feathers only to get her finger snipped at. "Ah! He tried to bite me!"

"You've got paint on your fingers! No dirty hands shall touch the mighty Polly!"

 **Violet walks up to Polly the Parrot**

 **Violet: Hi little guy**

 **Polly: Little I'm not little I'm hung like a freaking bull lady**

"Where'd you get that language from?" she frowned at the parrot.

 **Sophie and Daniel, after spending time together walk into the room**

 **Polly: Hippie and Reject alert! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKK!**

"Hah!" laughed Lee.

"Fuck you too, you dumb bird!" said Sophie.

 **Ghostface walks into the room**

 **Ghostface: WAZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP?!**

 **He drops a severed head in Cj's lap then walks away**

"Whose head is this?!" said CJ as he held it up.

"It's Joker's!" said Lee. "Heh. Good!"

"What'd he ever do to you?" asked Asher.

"Don't worry about it." said Lee.

 **Polly looks at Alvin**

 **Polly: No cows in the interview session BAAAAAAAWWWWWWKKKKKKK**

"No assholes either!" said Alvin.

"Do you not know where you are?" asked Lee.

"Baaawwwkk! Idiot alert! Idiot alert!"

 **(Snaps fingers and Omid is in his Magic Omid outfit and music plays)**

"GAAAAH!" Lee covered up his eyes.

"Oh my gosh!" Clementine stared at Omid who was wearing nothing but a blue thong, a cowboy hat, and a pair of boots. "That's...that's...just disturbing. I think I'm going to vomit."

"The fuck!?" said Luke. "Put some clothes on."

"I don't have any clothes!" All of his clothes had burned up on the ship. "I have to get some from the local clothing store."

"Then get out of here!" yelled Lee throwing a chair at his face.

"Ow you didn't have to hit me!"

 **Lee you smell like a caveman! Take a bath!**

"And you smell like Carley's pussy!" said Lee.

 **(snaps fingers and Lee turns into a dog)**

Lee is turned into a terrier.

 **Slenderman: (dances onto the boat) Everyday I'm Slenderin Slenderin! (kicks Javier in the balls)**

"Fuck!" Javier held his crotch as he feel over. "I don't have balls but that shit still hurts!"

 **Lee I dare you and Carley to sing I got you babe!**

"She's dead." said Lee.

"Which is why Lee called Carley smelly and got away with it." said Clementine.


	19. Chapter 20

**BTW everyone is their normal gender because it's being ignored. Also the baby's name is "Kale" for a reason.**

* * *

 **Everyone) Alright time for a reality check, uses infinity stones to resurrect everyone.**

 **Now we're gonna vote on President Scumbag, and no cheating or I'll erase you.**

 **He sits on an Iron Throne**

 **Have fun.**

"Naturally it's me!" said Lee.

"Oh please! I torture Luke and Nick on damn near a daily basis!" said Clementine. "I'm the biggest scumbag here!"

"Bullshit! I never take care of my kids, I fucked some women on a love potion, cheated on my women, sold porn of the women I fucked without them knowing, and bullied my own brother as a child! I've done way more worse shit than you!"

"Well I made Nick give Luke a blow job!" said Clementine.

"I nearly killed my mom!" said CJ.

Rebecca smacked him across the head. "That's nothing to brag about it, you little brat!"

 **You did Jason's chant wrong**  
 **It's Not**  
 **Ch Ch Ch Ha Ha Ha**  
 **It's**  
 **Ki Ki Ki Ma Ma Ma**

 _Don't you mean "Ki Ki Ha Ha?"_

 **Kenny: My boat...My beautiful booooooaaaat! (Buries face in the sand sobbing)**

"You know what's worse?" Lee said as he stared out at the ocean.

"What?"

"We're stuck on this crappy island!"

 **(Pokes Clementine's belly)**

"Hey!" she slaps your hand. "Stop it!"

 **(Revives everyone who died in the boat fire except for Katjaa cause she's ugly)**

"Jokes on you!" said Katjaa. "Someone already brought me back."

 **Lilly why didn't you go to the joint communities of Alexandria hilltop and the kingdom they have men and women who have fought two wars. Rick Grimes surely would have been glad to help you in your ear. Or does kidnapping kids and forcing them to fight actually put a smile on your face?**

"It wasn't really kidnapping if they were given to us." said Lilly. "To answer your question, it's not excatly easy to ask for help in the apocolyspe."

 **Everyone) Grayson wants to show you something**

 **Everyone watches as Doug and Carley's 2 month old son dances to Gangam Style**

"Demon baby!" Lee threw holy water at the baby only for Carley to block it by turning her body so that it hit her back.

"What's your deal, asshole!" said Doug. "Don't throw water at my child!"

"That child's a demon!" said Lee. "No child should be able to dance at 2 months!"

"He's not a demon!" said Carley. "He...he's just talented."

"Yeah talented at being paranormal!"

 **Marries Violet, Louis and Clementine.**

 **This is your schedule**

 **Louis gets 3 days with Clem, Violet gets 3 days with Clem and Clem gets to decide what to do the 7th day**

"I call Saturday, Wednesday, and Friday!" said Louis.

"Shit those are the good days." groaned Violet.

 **I nominate Grayson as scumbag president!**

"You can't nominate Gayson!" said Lee. "His name is stupid and he..."

"Call my baby Gayson again or call him stupid, you're asking for it!" said Carley.

"I wasn't going to call your kid stupid." said Lee. "I was going to say he's a demon baby. You can't vote for a baby!"

"Well someone has to be the president." said Doug. "I say it's me!"

"No I am!" said Tenn. "And I'll prove it!"

He stabbed Minerva in the leg. "FUCK! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"See! I stabbed my own sister for the title!" said Tenn. "I'm the bigger scumbag!"

"Oh yeah?" Doug punched Clementine in the face, causing her nose to bleed. "I just punched a pregnant teenager!"

"My nose!" Clementine looked down at her bloody hand. "You bastard!"

"Don't punch my fiancé you..." Doug grabbed Louis and punched him in the stomach and then the face.

"I'll punch whoever I want, you weak fuck!" he shoved him onto the ground. "Bite me!"

"Come here you..." Ed quickly got his ass handed to him along side Lee and Kenny who tried after him.

"Anybody else wanna try me!?" asked Doug. When nobody stepped forward, he said, "Good. I thought so. I'm the scumbag president now! Deal with it."

 **Guys You are stuck on the island isolated from the rest of the world until help arrives**

 **Daniel: oh no we're going have to repopulate the earth! Sophie let's get starred**

"The earth is populated though." said Lee.

"Then the island!" said Daniel. "Shall we?"

"Oh no you don't!" said Ben. He cracked a glass bottle over Daniel's head, instantly knocking him out. "Stop breeding!"

"D-damn!" Clementine couldn't help but to be impressed. Ben had really cracked. The children couldn't be that bad, could they.

 **Clementine and Minerva are fighting. Minnie brings Clem down. Louis appears in between them and defends Clementine.**  
 **Louis: Sorry Minnie, but she's my Friend.**  
 **Minerva: So was I.**

"You were but you changed." he says as he helps Clem off the ground. "Besides, you really shouldn't be fighting someone whose pregnant, if you're my friend or not."

 **Lee: (standing on a tall building) I'm gonna jump!**

 **Clementine: No don't do it!**

 **Larry: Do a flip!**

"Fuck you Larry!" said Lee.

 **Wait Lee**

 **Lee pauses thinking I'm going to talk him out of it**

 **Instead I Sparta kick him off the roof**

"YOOOOUUUUU BAAAAAAASTAAAARD!" he yells as flies down to the ground.

 **Turns Lee into a wampus** "It's better than having broken legs." sighs Lee.

 **Runs in with evil Louis and throws him at Clem, knocking her over, then knocks out good Louis and drags him away to turn him into a walrus**

"What the fuck man!" she struggled to get Evil Louis off of her.

 **Hey guys look**

 **Everyone looks out to see a boat full of Tommy Jarvises waving at them**

 **Carley: Tommy!**

 **A rpg is fired blowing up the boat**

 **Everyone turns to glare at Lee, who had fired the RPG**

 **Clem: They were our way off the island Lee!**

"Oh no. Damn. I'm so sorry."

"You don't sound sorry at all!" said Christa. "What's your problem?!"

"Just because Tommy was a lot more likable...!" began Carley.

"He sucked!"

"You suck more!" said Mira. "He was actually nice!"

"Shut up, whore!"

"SHUT UP DEAD BEAT!" said Carley, Lilly, and Mira.

 **Tommy Jarvis: It's allright I survived!**

 **The megalodon eats him**

Lee burst out laughing.

 **Snaps fingers and Gabe's Dna in the baby is replaced with Violet's Dna**

"What the hell!" said Gabe. "That's not fair! That's my baby!"

"Not anymore!" Tenn laughed at him.

"You shut up! Dad do something!"

"How the hell can I change DNA?!" David wasn't even sure why his son asked such a ludicrous question.

"I...never mind."

"Good! He's a loser anyways!" said Lee.

"You barely know me!"

"I can smell a loser from a mile away and you're one of 'em."

"And you're an asshole!"

 **Everyone) Thoughts on Polly the parrot and Daniel being a drug dealer**

"Daniel, you can't be a drug dealer!" said Diana. "I forbid it!"

"I'm a grown man." said Daniel. "It doesn't matter if you forbid it or not. Besides, you lost all paternal rights after you gave me away for adoption. Suck it."

"Don't speak to your mother that way!" said Ed. "Don't you know how dangerous that is!"

"I know that but I can handle myself. Besides, I've been doing this for a while. I know what I'm doing."

"Polly is an asshole!" said Kenny. "He took a shit on my newspaper while I was reading it!"

"He's a rude bird!" said Sarah. "Who taught him to say those things!"

"He's dangerous!" said Clementine. "I don't want my child around that maniac!"

 **(Shoots violet dead)**

"This Violet body-count is too damn high!" said Clementine.

"Damn it!" said Lee. "My ship is ruined!"

"Uh what?"

"Hm?"

 **Kenny if you could bring back your boat or wife which would you pick?**

 **Kenny: My boat.**

"I'd be furious if I wasn't alive already." said Katjaa.

 **(snaps fingers and clem's baby's dna is fixed back to it's original dna)**

"Good." said Gabe.

"Can we not change my baby's DNA anymore?" she asked. "I'm worried something is going to get ruined or something."

 **Revives Violet and Puts her in indestructible armor**

"Can you people stop with the killing? Geez." she groaned.

 **Ben) Daniel and Sophie didn't use a condom**

"You little shits!" he wrapped his hands around Daniel's neck. "I have enough brats to care for! I don't need 3 or 4 more!"

"Get off of him, Ben!" said Clementine as Daniel struggled to get the older man off of him. "You don't even know if she is!"

"She better not be!" he threw Daniel to the floor. "Or else I'm beating your ass!"

"He's gone off the deep end." Kenny whispered to Lee.

 **A bunch of people dress as smurfs run into the room**

 **Papa papa Gargamel is near what shall we do? they cried out to Omid**

"Get outta here!" Omid shouted at the Smurfs. "I don't know who the fuck that is! LEAVE! I'm not your father!"

 **Marlon walks in high as a kite**

 **Marlon: Violet thank you for having a fine ass**

"Uh thanks?" she stared at him.

 **Snaps fingers and that baby is purely clementine's baby and no one elses**

 **Nick) Don't let Luke cockblock you! Take your man!**

"Wouldn't that make the baby a clone?" asked Louis.

"I think so." she said.

"Oh no you don't." Luke shoved Nick off of him. "You're crazy if you think I want you!"

 **Erases Gabe from existence**

 _And that day, you did the fanbase a favor._

 **Clementine and the rest of the scumbags are waiting for Louis to get here**

 **Clem: Where is he?!**

 **He's right here I say leading a walrus version of Louis in the room**

 **Everyone begins screaming. crying or vomiting**

"What the fuck?!" said Violet. "What'd the hell you do to him?!"

"I think I'm going to..." Ruby vomited.

"Get it outta here!" Lee covered his eyes. "It's making me sick!"

"What'd you do to him?!" Clementine was afraid to touch him. "You're sick!"

 **(Turns CJ and Tenn back to their original ages and removes the scumbag potion from Tenn)**

"Shit I liked being older!" he groaned.

"When were you older?" asked Tenn. "You look the same to me."

"You were under the influence of a scumbag potion." said CJ. "So you probably don't remember anything during."

"Scumbag? Did...did I do anything...?"

"Yes you did!" Minnie pointed at her nose. "You cracked my nose!"

"Oh my gosh! You know I wouldn't!"

"If you weren't my brother, I'd kick you ass!"

 **Mario: (runs by and jumps on CJ's head)**

 **CJ: Ow!**

 **Mario: Take a that fat Goomba!**

"Don't touch my son!" Rebecca threw Mario out of the window Cockblockula threw Louis and Violet out of the last chapter.

 ***snaps fingers and the baby has Gabe and Clem's DNA* There. Order has been restored.**

"Gabe who?" asked Lee. "There is no loser named Gabe."

 **I almost forgot. *snaps fingers and Louis is back to normal* The only person who deserves to be a walrus is that slut Rebecca.**

"Who're you calling a slut?!" shouted Rebecca as Clementine and Louis's friends comforted him. "I'm not a whore!"

"What about that list?" sked Diana. "You know, the one my husband was on. The same husband that you drugged so you could have your way with him!"

"And you slept with me while married." said Carver.

"And me!" said Carlos. "And didn't you sleep with that Quagmire man and Big Foot?"

"Big Foot?" said Becca. "That's just...wow."

 **Becca! Let Ben see your hips swing!**

"How about no." Becca frowned.

 **(Omid runs out of the clothes store still dressed as magic omid)**

 **Omid: RUN! CLEMERS!**

 **Lee: What!?**

 **Omid: THE CLEMENTINE DEAD ARE COMING! (runs past)**

 **(Suddenly the dead Clementines of Clementine island all walk towards everyone)**

 **Zombie Clem: Leeee...**

 **Lee: Oh shoot! (grabs Duck and throws him at the zombies)**

 **Duck: AHHH! (gets bit and turns into a zombie clementine)**

"Duck!? Since when did..." Clementine began only to have her wrist grabbed by Violet.

"Don't think about it now!" she said as she pulled her wife behind her. "They'll get you too!"

Only a few managed to get into the first 2 buses before the zombie Clementines got ahold of 3 buses the behind them. The few that made it on a bus took off without trying to save anybody else. Since they couldn't fight any with their bare fists, Clementine and the others ran further up the road, hoping to find a good place to hide from them. It was a good thing the Clementine walkers were walkers. Soon they came across the library and shoved each other inside. Luckily nobody was run over trying to get in, although there was a lot of bruising. The book shelves were quickly pushed over in front of all entrances to prevent the Clementines from coming in.

"Is everyone here?" asked Lilly as she looked around the room.

"Not everyone." said Rebecca. " I saw Shel, Walter, Matthew, Carley, Grayson, and Ethan make it onto the buses. I think I see everyone."

"Are everyone's kids okay?" asked Mira as she put down her son.

"No, my son's one of those things!" said Kenny. He then grabbed Aasim. "This is all your fault you little shit! If it wasn't for you blowing up the island, he would've never gotten bitten again!"

"Wait, where's Katjaa?" Clementine asked nervously. She remembered the first time something like this happened. The poor woman couldn't take having her son taken from her. It could end the same way if she wasn't grabbed too.

"I think she got into one of the buses." said Mira. "She could still be out there."

"We can't go out there now until the Clementines leave." said Daniel. "Speaking of which..."

He stared at his sister. "What?"

"Maybe you could..."

"If you're suggesting I talk to them, you're crazy!" she shouted. "I don't want any of those things near me! Besides, we don't know if they'll listen to me! Let the so called Queen of Walkers do it!"

"No way! Let Lee go!" Minnie pointed at Lee. "They were moaning his name! Speaking of which, how weird is that? Do you two...?"

"That's fucking gross!" Clementine glared at her. "Lee's, like, my second dad! Besides, walkers moan and groan all the time! They can't help it! It's not sexual!"

"Besides they might turn me too!" said Lee. "I ain't takin' any chances!"

"Why don't Asher and Rodrik handle them?" asked Clementine. "They have swords!"

"Are you crazy!?" said Asher. "It's going to take a lot more than two skilled swordsmen to take down a couple thousand walkers."

"I guess we're stuck here until they go past." groaned Doug. "That is unless anybody has a better idea."

Since nobody could find a situation to their problem currently, they decided to set up camp for the moment. While they were doing so, they could hear the sounds of the Clementine walkers somewhere down the road. It wouldn't be long before they passed through so they had to be extra sure they wouldn't get in. While the adults worked, Clementine read to the kids since she was unable to work herself. It was only short lived when Clementine's water broke. Of all times to have her child, why now? Before anybody could tend to her, around 32 Clems had just shown up to the front steps, as if they had sensed it was a bad time.

While Diana and Ed assisted their daughter to the office in the back, the others prepared for the incoming Clementines. One broken through a window with her hand, clawing at the air. Asher quickly cut off the undead Clem's arm as well as anymore that popped through the hole.

"Quick!" Lilly shouted. "Some of you go to the second floor and start throwing books and whatever you can find at them! Everyone else, break off a chair leg or something and beat them back!"

While everyone were trying to keep the walkers back, Clementine was both frightened and overwhelmed with anger. If those things got in, she'd never see her child. Aasim was to blame for what was happening right now! She was going to strangle that fucker as soon as she was done having her child! Her mother tried keeping her mind off of what was going on by bringing up how fast her daughter was growing up and bringing up her childhood. However Clementine just barely listening as she was thinking about how long it would be before those things came in.

About an hour later, the last of the Clementines had been killed off. Hopefully the rest of them would leave them alone for a while. It an hour longer before Ed came out to announce that Clementine had her first baby, a boy named Kale.

 **Clementine! Jafar has come to steal your Genie!**

 **Clementine: Who?**

 **(Jafar appears in a flash of fire) I have come for the lamp with the genie in...Lee!?**

 **Lee: Jafar!?**

 **Jafar: Hahaha! Never thought I'd see you again! (high fives Lee)**

 **Kenny: Lee you know Jafar from Aladdin!?**

 **Lee: Yeah we were neighbors in the 80's and also drinking buddies.**

"Even if he wanted to, he can't." said Clementine. "Anniyah was in her lamp in my room at the hotel. Plus I used up all my wishes so she's not really my genie anymore."

 **Optimus Prime: Javier give me your face!**

 **Javier: What!? No!**

Javier: Why do you even need my face? You're a man robot!

 **Everyone listen up I have something to say!**

 **(All the scumbags stop and listen)**

 **NIGGA!**

 **That's all for now.**

"Uh okay." said Lee.

 **Hey Clem I hear Minerva has Barney the dinosaur underwear.**

"T-that's not true!" she stammered. "I don't wear Barney underwear!"

"It's okay if you do." said Lee. "Lilly has Hello Kitty panties on!"

"LIAR!" said Lilly.

 **Hey I have a fun idea! (Turns Clementine into her season one self to right before she got turned into a scumbag and she has no memory of any of the newer seasons and is not pregnant while in her season 1 form because that would be creepy otherwise)**

 _Yeah it would be creepy. Also she's not pregnant anymore since she has just had it but you didn't know that before you wrote this. I guess it's a good thing I already had planned on her giving birth this chapter as Carley had hers some time ago._

"Look at her! She's so cute!" said Sarah pinching her cheeks.

"She's not a little demon either!" Luke breathed in relief.

"Could you please let go of my cheeks?" Clementine asked, confused about who most of these people were.

"Oh sorry!" Sarah backed away. "I'm Sarah!"

"I'm Clementine. Mom! Dad! When'd you get here!" she ran over to her parents and hugged them. "I thought I'd never see you two again!"

"We're not going anywhere, baby." assured Diana after kissing her daughter's forehead.

 **Louis, Omar and Asaim are talking**  
 **Louis: Ok is it just me or did that chick seem kind of wired.**  
 **Omar: Which one?**  
 **Louis: The one leading the whole raid**  
 **Asaim: You mean the Old Lady?**  
 **Louis: Exactly**

"Hard to believe anybody had sex with that." said Omar.

"You couldn't pay me to fuck her." said Louis.

"I HEARD THAT!" yelled Lilly.

 **It's raining women!**

 **Lee: Hallelujah! (Looks up) Oh...(The worlds fattest woman lands on top of him)**

"DAMMIT! GET THIS COW OFF ME!" Lee yelled.

"Rude!" said the lady. "And where the hell am I?!"

 **Violet good news a season 4 clementine survived**  
 **and she's from a Violettine universe!**

 **Shoves other Clem into room and she gives Violet a hug**

Louis groans. "Are you serious? Ugh."

 **UGH I'm sick of Clouis!**

 **Shoots bad Louis in head and good Louis in throat**

"What the hell!?" Older Clementine gasps as the younger one clings to her father out of fear. "W-what...what the fuck was that all about!?"

"Aren't you a scumbag?" asked Luke. "That shouldn't bother you."

"No!"

"Oh. Well get used to it. I have."

 **Ugh! I'm tired of Violettine!**

 ***removes any kind of protective armor on Violet and stabs her repeatedly***

"Violet! No!" Older Clementine cradles Violet's barely moving body. "Someone help before she bleeds out!"

"Help me her to the office and I'll see what I can do." said Diana. "Carlos, give me a hand. I heard you're decent in this area even if you are a porn star."

 **I'm tired of CarLil too!**

 ***snaps fingers and Lilly falls out of love with Carley***

"Where the hell am I?" Lilly look around. "How'd we get in a library?"

"It's a long story." said Larry. "There's also a part in which you were in love with Carley and got married."

"WHAT?! THAT BIG HEADED BITCH AND ME?!" Lilly stared at her father for a long time before laughing. "Hahahaha! That's a good one dad! Carley and me...heheh...that's rich dad! Hahaha!"

"I'm serious! You two were all over each other!"

"It's true!" said Javier. "It's hard to believe you two hate each other!"

"I have pics if you wanna see 'em!" said Lee grinning. He showed the woman the pictures for proof. Instead of yelling at Lee for spying on her, she screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK! ME AND THAT WHORE...I don't believe this! I can't stand that bitch! I hate her with every bone in my body! I'd never screw her! I bet you gave me a love potion just so you can make porn for profit, you weasel!"

"No, but I wish I had known!" said Lee. "I'd never thought Carley would ever like you back!"

"Excuse me while I vomit!" she gagged as she flung the pictures at Lee.

 **This has evolved into Violet and Louis fans fighting each other**

 _Makes sense._

 **Snaps fingers and Carley and Lilly are in love forever and not even god can change that**

 **Clem) Sorry but you and Louis can't get married. Shows her video of Minerva selling her soul to the Devil so Louis and Clementine can never marry and be together**

"Why would she do that for?" asked Alt. Clementine.

"That's just mean." said Clementine. "Can't my older self marry who she wants?"

"This is the scumbag interviews." said Javier. "Shit ain't fair and there's not too many nice people here."

"Maybe she did it because she wants the real Louis all to herself!" suggested Ruby. "It makes a lot of sense."

 **Lee) You look like a man with three nipples**

"And you look like the jizz I left on your mom's ass this morning." fired back Lee.

 **Clem) If you could have a threesome who'd you have it with?**

"A what?"

"Having sex with 2 other people at once." explained Lee.

"Ew! Perv!"

 **Where's James? Haven't seen that walker fucker in a while**

"Oh shit..." Ben looked outside of the library windows.

"That's just foul!" said Jane making a face. "Oh my god that's distrubing."

"Walker fucker?" asked Alt Clem confused. "You mean someone's out there having sex with walkers? What the hell?"

"It's James aka the guy with the walker mask." explained Luke. "That dirty bastard has been fucking walkers publicly for a while."

"What!? Why!"

"I don't know and I don't care!" said Nick. "I don't want details on why he loves the undead so much!"

"I think I'm going to throw up!" groaned Alt Clementine.

 **Sam Winchester runs into room and stabs Nick with an angel blade**

 **Sam: Sorry me and my brother Dean- Dean?**

 **He looks around and see him flirting with Violet**

 **Dean (Leering): Hello Beautiful**

 **Sam facepalms**

 **Violet: Fucks sake not again**

"Get away from my girlfriend, dude!" said a furious Alt Clementine. "She's taken!"

 **Drop kicks Cj across the ocean**

"Oh my god! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" shouted Rebecca as she saw a distant splash in the ocean. "I'm coming CJ!"

 **WHO ATE MY DONUT?!**

 **FUCK THIS! spawns in Micheal Myers**

"Are you kidding me!?" yelled Kenny. Everyone began throwing books at Michael.


End file.
